Destiny
by thedarkpassenger85
Summary: Maura and Jane celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary in Hawaii and start talking about having children, will they decide to have a baby or are they perfectly happy just being together?ULTIMATE CHAPTER IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

**Alright guys, last night this idea just appeared to me(yes like in a vision, I know I'm crazy) I always wanted to write an AU(alternate Universe ) story and I think this one is gonna be fun: **

**Chapter one:**

Jane Rizzoli was a 22 year old police officer who graduated from the academy 2 years ago. Coming from a family with italian descents, the young officer's dream was to make her way to the Boston homicide unit and become a Detective. She was so determined that she decided to take psychology classes to improve her knowledge of the human mind and therefore improve her performances on the field.

Maura Isles was 22 third year medical student who was raised in a rich and powerful family. As far as she could remember she always wanted to be a Doctor, helping people, cure them. Maura was a brilliant student, actually she was a genius, unfortunately she wasn't really comfortable among other human beings. Fortunately she discovered in medical school that she was perfectly comfortable among dead people, so she decided to become a Medical Examiner. Determined to speak for the dead and help them to the best of her abilities Maura was now taking psychology classes as a part of her medical training.

The two young women lived in two very different worlds and nothing seemed to indicate that they were ever destined to cross paths:

"I apologize for the intrusion but is this sit taken?" Maura politely asked looking down at Jane who was siting on an uncomfortable wooden chair nervously biting her pencil.

"Sure make yourself at home." Jane replied looking up at the future young Doctor.

"Thank you." Maura nodded settling next to her, pulling her notes books and pencil from her fancy leather bag.

As she was sitting down Jane couldn't help but smiling internally:

"_Damn, the way she sat on that chair, like if she was sitting on a golden throne and the way she stays straight on it, she has some damn good manners, she must be loaded."_ Jane said to herself .

"_Note books : check. Pencils : check. Emergency pencils : check. Book: check_." Maura said to herself as she was unloading the content of her bag on the table.

"You're a medical student aren't you?" Jane asked suddenly sitting straight on her chair.

"Yes, I am, I just started my third year. Are you a student as well?"

"No, I'm a cop, graduated from the academy two years ago. I'm planning on making my way to the Homicide unit so I'm taking this class to help me you know." Jane replied her voice much deeper trying to impress the young student.

"I see, you're taking psychology classes to improve your knowledge of the human mind to enhance your performance on the field."

"Exactly."

"I like that, someone who studies not for a degree but to extend her knowledge, you're very brave Officer."

"Well thank you Doctor, how about you? Have you thought about your future speciality yet? Wait let me guess…Plastic surgery or obstetrics?"

"I think your instincts might playing tricks on you. I will let you think about it. Oh, here's the teacher." Maura enthusiastically said clapping her hands.

"Alright." Jane nodded crossing her arms on her chest narrowing her eyes determined to find out.

As the teacher was giving his lecture Jane, who was usually very focused couldn't get her eyes off Maura. She was about 5.6, thin, with long blonde hair and was obviously dressed in designer clothes. As she was carefully observing her Jane noticed that the future Doctor was methodically taking notes of almost everything the teacher was saying, underlining important quotes.

"_How about pediatrics?No, maybe dermatology, that's a the kind of Doctor that makes a lot of money...God she's gorgeous, come on Jane focus here, she's not even in your league, well actually she's not even from your world._" Jane said to herself marveling at her beauty.

After two hours the class was finally over and the two young ladies were packing their belongings.

"Well it was nice to meet you officer. I suppose I will see you next week." Maura politely as she stood up ready to leave the class room.

"Yes, I will be here next week but I was wondering, if you would have a cup of coffee or something?You know for research purposes so I can observe you more and guess your future speciality." Jane mumbled.

"I think you observed me enough during the past two hours Officer. I do actually enjoy coffee a lot, actually it's almost a requirement when you're a medical student." Maura teased seeing clearly what Jane was trying to do.

"Was that a yes?"

"No, not yet, how about I reward you with the best coffee in town once you finally make a definitive assessment regarding my future career?"

"Challenge accepted." Jane smiled.

"Perfect, I will see you next week then." Maura politely said before leaving the class room feeling Jane's eyes on her.

Jane stood there looking Maura walking away feeling that for an unknown reason the two of them were destined to meet...

Later that afternoon Jane was patrolling with her partner, Officer Morales who had been a cop for over 10 years and who was teaching her everything he new.

Being a woman Jane knew that making her way to the Homicide unit was going to be a challenge, especially since there was actually no female detectives there yet. Jane was ambitious and passionate about her job and was keen to learn and determined to be one of the guys. She wanted her partner to trust her with his life and wasn't asking for any favors so when the time came to tackle a suspects she was always the first one to do it.

"What's her name."Morales asked taking a sip at his cofee.

"What?" Jane mumbled.

"Yes, that girl you've been thinking about for the past few hours?"

"It's not what you think. She's a medical student and she challenged me to guess her future medical speciality that's all."

"How hot is she?"

"What's wrong with you man?I told you it's not like that, I'm just trying to guess her future speciality...We're from two different world anyway, you should see her, the way she speaks and even sit on a wooden chair, she's loaded."

"Since when Jane Rizzoli is impressed by some chick?"

"I'm not impressed, I'm just saying that she's probably dating some hot rich male lawyer or something. Now please drop it." Jane grunted.

Jane was very lucky to have a partner as open minded as Morales. When you spend 10 or 12 hours a day with someone and your life depends on him or her you need to be able to trust that parter, so Jane never lied to him about her sexual preferences. At first he was a bit shocked but quickly came around and realized that they could speak about girls and football and that he could even ask her advice when arguing with his wife. The two were getting along very well and were making a great team.

Jane spent the rest of the night thinking about Maura, not only about the challenged she gave her but about her. Jane Rizzoli had never been the "relationship type". She was young and attractive and had no problem using her charms to get what she wanted from other women, well that was until she met Maura, who for some strange reason didn't appear to be sensitive to her attempt to seduce her. Fortunately Jane wasn't the kind of woman to give up and was always up for a good challenge, and she had a feeling that Maura was indeed someone very special.

That night Maura Isles stayed in a bedroom in her parents' mansion studying, or at least she was trying to. Maura was very focused and organized when it came to studying and had never been attracted to partying like most of the other medical students. Unfortunately that night she wasn't able to focus on her homework, all she could think about was that young attractive, very straight forward police officer she had met today. Maura had always evolved in a certain circle and her friends were all very well financially secured, but she wasn't "snob" or "posh" type. All her life people had judged her because she was a bit odd and appart from them, so she decided a long time ago not to have any prejudices on people, and not to judge them by their physical appearances, social background or professional activities but solely on their personalities. She was actually always keen to meet new people who had different life experiences than her, and from the minute she met Jane Rizzoli she knew that this fortunate encounter would indeed satisfy her desires and she couldn't wait for the next psychology class to come.

**So guys, what do you think?I know it's a bit unusual but I have many ideas...So Maura is totally playing hard to get...and Yes I portrayed Jane as a player...**

**As always your review are welcome!**


	2. Medical Examiner

**Well guys, thanks for the reviews, I didn't expect it really! So just so you know I wrote until chapter 7!I have tons of ideas!It's exciting if you know my other stories you know I like to take things slow at first so ...**

**Chapter two:**

**Medical Examiner.**

The next week Maura arrived in class early, saving a seat for Jane. She had spent two hours trying to find the perfect dress and finally decided a wear a very simple blue Dolce and Gabbana dress she had bought the week before, with brown sandals.

Five minutes before the class started Jane was still MIA and Maura started to worry:

"She's probably chasing some criminal, I hope nothing bad happened to her." Maura said to herself biting her lower lip, her eyes fixated on the door.

A few minutes later the class started and Jane was still missing. Not willing to miss that class Maura finally turned around and decided to focus on the teacher.

2hours later, Maura, disappointed took her books with her, grabbed her bags and left the class room.

"She must have had better things to do." Maura sighed as she was walking towards the exit situated right next to the class room.

"A medical examiner." A familiar voice suddenly said.

Hearing that voice, Maura froze instantly recognized this voice . Her heart starting to beat faster and her throat was unexpectedly dry.

"Officer Rizzoli we missed you in class today." Maura said as she was turning around trying to maintain her posture.

"I know, I'm sorry we were following that suspect and we got him. " Jane proudly stated.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you, so Am I right? Do you want to be a medical examiner?"

"Yes indeed, congratulations, but I guess you already knew you were right." Maura smiled pointing out the two paper brown bags Jane was holding.

"Yes, my guts never let me down, I brought you a black coffee without sugar, if that's okay."

"It is, thank you, would you like to sit somewhere?"

"Yes I would really like that." Jane said opening the door for her.

"Thank you." Maura said impressed by such chivalry.

After walking for a few minutes in silence Jane finally spotted a nice spotted next to a three.

"I think here is the perfect spot don't you think?" Jane asked checking their surrounding to make sure there wasn't any dog crap or any papers.

"Yes, if you say so." Maura smirked looking down at the grass thinking she was probably going to ruin her designer dress.

Seeing the fake smile on Maura's face Jane knew exactly what was happening and smiled internally.

"Here, so you don't ruin your dress." Jane said taking off her jacket.

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to spoil your jacket." Maura politely objected.

"Come on, your dress probably costs a month of rent, I had this jacket for years, please sit." Jane instructed as she sat down leaning against the three.

"Well thank you." Maura replied sitting down as slowly and gracefully as possible.

"So how was class today?" Jane asked taking a sip at her coffee.

"It was interested, but I have to confess I didn't pay too much attention."

"Why is that? You seemed so focused and passionate last time?"

"Well, I was a bit distracted."

"Oh don't tell me you worried because I wasn't here?"

"Well you are a police officer so obviously I thought something came up or that something happened to you."

"I'm so so sorry, but we got a lead on a murder case and we were following a suspect and I lost track of time. Next time I will call you."

"You don't have my number."

"I'm a cop remember, I have important resources at my disposal." Jane joked.

"Alright then, so tell me everything about your case, did you catch him?"

"You bet we did."

The two women sat there for over an hour on the grass, Jane telling Maura how they followed the suspect all morning and she she then chased him on tree blocks before tackling him in the middle of the street like a rugby player. Maura was suspended at Jane's lips, listening to her heroic tale, unable to breath or even blink unwilling to miss a second of it.

_"She's certainly quite physical, why do I suddenly feel my pulse rising like that_?" Maura asked to herself as she was feeling her heart hammering her chest .

Seeing that she had completely captured Maura's attention Jane continued to tell her story, theatrically agitating her arms to describe how she tackled the 200 pounds man.

"_Morales was right, the courageous fearless cop thing always works with the ladies_." Jane said to herself as she could see that Maura was bitting her lip in anticipation.

Around 6 O'clock mechanically checked her watch.

"Oh, I'm so sorry it's getting late and I have a lot of studying to do." Maura apologized.

"Oh, crap I didn't let you talk, I'm so sorry, I guess I get a little carried away when I talk about my job." Jane apologized.

"Please don't apologize, you're passionate about your job and your tales are quite entertaining I must say." Maura replied as she tried to stand up.

"Here let me help you." Jane said suddenly standing up offering her hand to her.

"Thank you." Maura smiled as she felt Jane pulling her up.

"Well I will see you next week then."

"Do you have any plans tonight?" Maura asked hoping that Jane would offer to help her study.

"Actually I have a report to write, you know on the arrest we made earlier, the perp won't make arraignment until tomorrow so I have to keep an eye on him at the precinct."

"Alright, I wish you good luck and I will see you next week. I will make sure to save you a seat."

"Thank you."

As Jane was watching Maura walking away she couldn't help but noticing how graceful she was, she way she walked, like a top model on a fashion show.

"_What just happened?"_ Jane suddenly said to herself shaking her head . _" She asked you what you were doing tonight and you didn't invite her ?Well you're working but you could have invited her another night!_"

So Jane went to work feeling unsettled, she was attracted to Maura and when she was usually attracted to a woman she never waited to invite her out. But with Maura it was different, she actually enjoyed her company and wasn't picturing her naked as they were talking.

Writing her report Jane started to think that Maura might actually just be a friend.

"I_t's not because you're a lesbian and she's gorgeous that you have to screw her. You're perfectly capable of being friends with her without anterior motives_." Jane said to herself as she was filling up the paperwork for the arrest.

That night Maura tried to study, but failed again, she couldn't help but thinking about Jane.

"_I_ t_hink I made a fool of myself today, I almost invite her to see me tonight but she declined, well she was working but if she had been interested she would have offered to see you another night. I thought she was interested in me that way. Have I misread the signals?I must have, I really need to pay more attention in psychology classes. It's not because someone is friendly and polite with you that he or she is interesting in engaging in something more. That just confirms that I don't have my place among living human beings, I really can not understand them._" Maura said to herself sitting at her desk re reading the same paragraph over and over.

**So guys what do you think?Both women like each other but Jane who is normally a player is acting diferently with Maura because she actually likes her and Maura isn't really comfortablr among human beings to she doesn't know how to react and what to think!**

**Well guys As always review i think next chapter is awesome...You'll see that tomorrow(Yes it's gonna be a chapter a day for a while)**


	3. The game

**Thank you guys for the reviews you rock!**

**I'm happy you like the story, now serious things are coming:)**

**Chapter 3:**

**The game:**

The next few weeks were fairly routine : Maura and Jane would go to the psychology class together, Maura would save a seat for Jane every time and Jane would buy her a cup of coffee afterwards that they would drink under the same three which quickly became their favorite spot.

The two women who initially thought they were really different discovered that they actually had a lot in common. Maura had explained to Jane that she wanted to be a Medical Examiner to be able to help people just like she was as a police officer, they even joked about working together some day.

Without noticing it the two girls became friends which was unusual for both of them : For Maura because she never really had a real friend she could talk to without seriously filtrating herself. With Jane it was different, she could tell her everything, from the autopsies she was performing in class to the strange medical cases she came across. Nothing she would say seemed to disturbed Jane, and more importantly she didn't even flinch or rise her eye brow when Maura was using technical terminology, actually she quickly started to call her Google Mouth. Maura was used to people looking at her, staring even because she was always talking unusually. Some people thought she was just showing off her intelligence and education, some other that she was just weird. In both cases Maura could always felt their judgmental and disapproving look. With Jane it was the opposite, not only she truly payed attention to what she was saying but she wasn't judging her at all.

For Jane it was a bit different, she never had a real female friends because she never liked the same things as them. She would rather watch a game on tv than go shopping or clubbing in fancy place. She usually felt more comfortable being among guys who weren't as superficial as women of her age could be. At first when she saw Maura she definitely felt attracted to her, but also realized that they had nothing in common, that Maura was apparently the posh, superficial type of woman that she usually avoided. After spending time with her Jane quickly realized her mistake : she actually had a lot of common with Maura. They shared the same moral values, they both wanted to help people, to catch criminals and even if Maura was obviously a fashion victim, she wasn't superficial at all and was able to talk to her about everything.

The more time passed the weirder Jane felt because she never had a real female friends. All the women she felt comfortable with always ended up naked in her bed with her on top. With Maura it was different, she was attracted to her and wouldn't have said no if she had offered her sexual favors, but she actually genuinely liked her and she didn't want to ruin that by treating her like she treated most women in her life.

That day Jane and Maura were enjoying their free afternoon under their favorite tree, Jane leaned against it and Maura lying on the grass her head on Jane's lap.

"God that woman…she's…..Oh God , Can she tell I'm aroused just by having her head on my lap like that?Come on Rizzoli put your shit together Maura and you are friend, she's actually the first real female friend that you had. It's not because she's attractive that you have to sleep with her, don't screw up your friendship." Jane said to herself.

"_Either she's a complete gentleman or she isn't interested in me at all. Stop over thinking Maura, enjoy yourself. You always complain people are either interested in sleeping with you or with your money, for once you find someone who likes you for you, just take your time to see where things are going_." Maura said to herself feeling incredibly relaxed looking at the sky enjoying this sunny afternoon with her new friend.

"So do you have any plans tonight?" Jane finally said expecting Maura to say that she was going to study.

"Actually no, I must say I have been quite efficient over the past few days and I'm completely free to enjoy myself tonight, why?"

"Well, I was thinking we could do something, you know we always meet here ."

"What were you thinking about?" Maura asked as she sat up.

"Well I was thinking to could come to see the game with us tonight…"

"The game?"

"Yes the baseball game, a few guys and I usually go to that bar next to the station and watch games together, I was thinking you could come along."

"Oh, I see, well thank you for the invitation, I don't usually go to bars."

"Really?Why?It's fun, we drink a couple of beers yelling at the screen, nothing fancy, but the guys are cool. I'm sure you would like them."

"I'm sure I would, but first of all I do not drink beer and second and most importantly I do not feel comfortable in crowded place."

"Oh, are you agoraphobic or something?"

"Not in the pathological sense, but I do not particularly enjoy being surrounded by strangers, especially when they're yelling and drinking, sweating you know…" Maura explained a disgusted look on her face.

"Alright Maura, calm down, you're hyperventilating." Jane smirked her hand on Maura's shoulder.

"You have no idea what kind of things were found on peanuts that are served after thorough analysis."

"And now I'm sure don't wanna know. Well we can do something else, go see a movie or something."

"Oh no, I don't want to keep you from having a goo dime with your friends, you seemed to be excited about it."

"Don't worry, as much as I try to blend in and be one of the guys, there's only so much testosterones and sweat a girl can handle and besides my mother always tells me I should try to hang up with more girls, I mean women, you're a woman not a girl." Jane mumbled.

"Well your mother is certainly a wise woman. I understand your desire to fit in , I know how hard it is for a woman to be respected as a professional in a male environment but you can't forget you're a woman. How about you come to my place tonight so we can watch the game together?"

"Really?"

"Absolutely, I must stay I'm quite intrigued by the way people express their enthusiasm and frustration when they are watching sports, it's fascinating."

"Alright, but the game starts in less then then an hour."

"Well do you mind driving me home then?My car is at the garage for repair I had to take a cab to come."

"Alright. Let's go."

So Jane drove Maura home, in silent knowing that she was probably living in a freaking mansion or something, and she was right.

As they arrived in front of her mansion, they were stopped by a gigantic gate guarded by a an armed security guard.

"Hi, Charlie, it's only me and my friend Officer Rizzoli." Maura said leaning over to the driver's window.

"I'm sorry Miss Isles I almost didn't see you." The guard said as he opened the door.

As Jane and Maura were driving towards the house Jane suddenly felt ridiculous driving her old pick up. She was actually proud of that pick up, she had worked two summers to pay for it, but seeing the size of Maura's house she knew that it was probably the first time Maura had ever sat in such a vehicle. Looking at Maura she didn't seem uncomfortable, actually she seemed happy to spend the evening with her.

"_Well she might be spoiled but not judgmental, that's a good start_." Jane said to herself as they came out of the car.

"Welcome to my humble house." Maura said as she opened the gigantic entrance door.

"Humble, crap Maura your house is bigger then the fucking white house!" Jane said her eyes wide opened as she was standing in front huge stairs .

"Well, I don't know about that, but it's quite vast, it's been in my family for tree generations. Please follow me I'll give you the grand tour." Maura said grabbing Jane's hand dragging her across the house.

As Jane was following Maura around in the mansion, listening to her personal or historical "fun facts" Jane couldn't help but marveling at the beauty that layed in font of her. From the marble floors, to the huge chandeliers to the vast library and immense fire places, the house was just like you see in movies, nothing tacky or flashy, everything had been carefully and tastefully chosen.

"_God, I knew from her clothes and manners she was rich, but that rich_." Jane said to herself, swallowing hard trying to keep her cool.

"And that is the family living room, we only use it for us , we don't use it when we have people over, it's small but comfortable, please sit and make yourself at home while I go put something more comfortable." Maura instructed as she walked towards the door.

So Jane sat down trying to make herself comfortable, she was actually so impressed by Maura's house that she forgot to be nervous about their evening.

A few minutes later Maura was back, bare feet, wearing a pair of jeans and a simple blue t- shirt.

"Here you go, I hope you like this brand. My father happens to enjoy beer." Maura said handing a cold beer to Jane.

"Than you. Actually it's my favorite thank you, you look…different." Jane mumbled.

She always saw Maura wearing her high heals and designer shoes and never suspected that she even owned a pair of jeans.

"Thank you, so has the game started yet?" Maura asked sitting next to Jane as close as she possibly could.

"No, it should start in a few minutes. I like your house, it's very well decorated, nothing trashy or ostensive." Jane said taking a sip at her beer.

"My parents have good tastes, most of what you see here has been collected through the years, while traveling you know, every object has its own story." Maura said moving closely to Jane.

"I bet, oh the game is starting." Jane said feeling Maura' breath on her neck.

As they were watching the game the two friends remained silent, Jane made sure to explain the rules to Maura who wasn't familiar with it. As they were sitting on Maura's over priced couch they were so close that Jane could feel Maura's skin against hers.

Jane did her best to stay focused on the game her hands on her lap.

Maura was actually really enjoying herself, she was smart and quickly understood at the rules. By the end of the game she was even yelling at the players before Jane, of course using a most moderate language.

Around 9 pm the game finally over .

"Well you certainly learn the rules fast, and Geez I never thought someone could curse being so polite." Jane joked.

"Well you can express your disapproval or even anger without being disrespectful." Maura stated her hand on Jane's lap.

"Right, so I think It's time for me to go home, I'm working early tomorrow, goodnight, thanks or the beer." Jane said as she quickly stood up.

"Alright…" Maura mumbled not knowing what to think.

So Maura accompanied Jane to the her car and said goodbye, dying to kiss her.

"I guess I will see you soon, alright?" Jane quickly said before entering her car.

"Yes sure, I will see you next week in class." Maura mumbled watching Jane start her car.

Maura stood there for a while unable to understand what just happened.

"Alright Maura if you had doubts before now you know, she's not into you that way. Well I hope we can at least remain friends." Maura said to herself walking towards her house.

That night Maura slept well, she didn't think or obsess about Jane because now she knew that Jane didn't see her that way. She knew that she could go back to her old boring life and hopefully stay friends with her.

On the other side of town Jane spent the nice in her little studio thinking about tonight's event. She spent hours blaming herself for rejecting her like that.

"_Seriously what's wrong with you?Since when do you reject a gorgeous woman who comes that hard at you?Well since you actually have feelings for her. You better forget all about her Jane, she's from a different world, not mention she deserves better then you. You're not the relationship type, you don't even know how to date a woman, especially someone so wealthy_ ." Jane said to herself as she was crawled in a bowl in her bed.

Jane came from a modest family, her father was a plumber and her mom stayed home to raise them and her two brothers. Maura was obviously raised in luxury and was probably used to receive the best thing in life. Thinking about it Jane couldn't help but thinking of the gap between Maura's money and her personality. She wasn't snob at all, well she talked smart and dressed in expensive clothes but she didn't have an attitude at all. She was easy to talk to and always seemed to be on the same page as her, which was quite extraordinary considering that they were raised in two different worlds. Jane decided that if Maura wasn't judgmental with her she shouldn't be judgmental with her with her. Jane knew that being friends with someone as loaded as Maura wouldn't be an issue, but she knew that it might be a serious obstacle if they ever started dating. Jane realized that she had nothing to offer her, certainly not her personality because she was a player and Maura deserved better than someone that was emotionally unstable. She deserved someone who could and knew how to commit to her , not someone who even with the best attention was too screw up to be good enough for her. Jane also knew she would never able to give her the life style she was familiar with. She came from a modest family and wasn't making tons of money as a police officer and would never be able to offer the kind of fancy restaurants Maura usually goes to.

**As always reviews are welcome?What do you think of Jane's behavior?**


	4. Honesty

**Chapter 4 :**

**Honesty : **

For the next 3 weeks Jane avoided Maura, she actually stop going to class and had to fight hard not to call her. The problem wasn't that she didn't like her but that she was actually very found of her. After considering it for days she decided that she had nothing to offer her and that she would probably end up hurting her badly, so she decided to get her off her system. Well at least she tried, because not seeing her made her think about her even more. She was actually so distracted at work that her partner started to worry.

"Don't tell me you're still thinking about that medical student?" Officer Morales asked concerned for his young partner.

"I'm sorry, I know we're on the job and I should be focused, I just can't stop thinking about her, I miss her..."

"Well have you tried going out and pick up some hot chick, I'm sure a night of passion will get her off your system." He joked.

"I tried but I lost all desire to seduce and when a woman comes at me I just reject her. What's happening to me Mike?"

"I think you might be in love ."

"Come on, don't be ridiculous, that kind of shit doesn't happen to me, never! And besides she's way off my league, you should see her house, it's bigger than the white house, we're from two different worlds."

"Oh, I see, is this why you decided not to go after her?Because she's rich and you think you have nothing to offer her?"

"Yes, I mean the girl is used to go to places I can't even dreamed about on my salary you know, she's used to the best things in life."

"From what you told me she doesn't care about money, she seems to like you for you, so what's the real reason you're avoiding seeing her?"

"ME! I'm the reason! You know me, I'm a player, I had slept with so many women that I can't even remember all their names, but I've never dated any of them. Maura is a lady, she deserves to be treated as deserves someone who's willing to commit to her and who is able to commit you know."

"I see, well if you never try you'll never know if you can commit to her, I know you want to right?"

"Of course, I'm adventurous I would like to try to have a committed relationship with her, but I don't want to take the risk to hurt her in case I go back to my old habits you know..."

"How about you tell her the truth about your past and you let her decide if she wants to give you a chance? I mean she's an adult you should at least give her the opportunity to make the decision by herself."

"You're right, I think I owe her an explanation, but it's been 3 weeks, I'm not even sure she's going to allow me on her property."

"Well try, our shift is over in half an hour, go see her and try alright cause I don't want you by my side in dangerous situations thinking about her alright?"

"Alright, thank you."

"You're welcome."

Jane truly cared about Maura and didn't want to hurt her feelings, she wanted to be with her but knew that Maura deserved better. Even if Jane had been with a lot of women she never actually dated one of them. Her relationship with them usually needed right after she was finishing having sex with them. With Maura it was different, she liked her a lot, and didn't want to her hurt by using her like she used other women before, but on the other hand she didn't how to date a woman, especially one who came from such a different world.

So that night Jane drove to Maura's mansion and to her big surprise the guard let her in.

After spending a good 15 minutes at the door rehearsing her speech Jane took a deep breath and finally knocked at the door.

"Jane, what a pleasant surprise." Maura grinned.

"May I come in?"

"Sure, I'm glad to see you're not dead." Maura mocked letting Jane in .

" I'm sorry Maura…I…"Jane mumbled following her to the living room.

When they arrived Jane realized that Maura had been studying, there was books and note pads everywhere.

"Please sit , don't mind the mess, I'm studying for a test next week." Maura politely offered as she sat on the couch.

"Thank you, well I wanted to apologized, I know I screwed up, going MIA for 3 weeks..." Jane said looking straight into Maura's big brown eyes.

"Did I do something wrong during the game?"

"No, it was perfect, I actually don't remember the last time I had so much fun, I'm just…"

"You're just not attracted to women."

"Oh yes I am trust me." Jane inappropriately smiled.

"Then you're not attracted to me."

"I am, and that's the problem."

"I don't follow.." Maura said narrowing her eyes thinking that those psychology classes were really a waste of time and money.

"Well, I'm physically attracted to you, that's for sure, but I also genuinely like you. I really enjoy your company, listening to you telling me crazy stories about dead people, I think you're the most brilliant, the smartest and most adorable woman I know…"

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is, I…how can I say this? I love women, but I don't date them."

"I dont understand."

"I'm not the relationship type, I see a woman I like, I chase her, seduce her, sleep with her and then got rid of her as fast as it takes for me to zip my pants." Jane let out waiting for Maura's reaction.

"Oh I see." Maura nodded.

"But the thing is, I don't want to do that to you, I like you a lot, and that's unsettling, I usually don't develop feelings for the women I' m attracted to. I just don't want to hurt you."

"I understand."

" I mean you're a princess, you deserve someone who treats you like one, someone who respects you, who takes you to nice places, who you can see a future with, not a emotionally retorted player like me."

"For someone who's usually so confident about herself, you're fast to put yourself down Jane."

" I'm just realistic, not that I wouldn't want to try, but I just don't know how to be with you, I never dated any one before, especially someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

"Yes I mean, you're freaking rich, I'm sure you don't even enjoy the same things as I do, so I don't even see how I could date you."

"Well I certainly enjoy different things then you but it doesn't mean that I don't want to learn about the thing you love, we watched a baseball game remember?It was the first I ever saw, you taught me the rules and I enjoyed it and I have been watching other games."

"Really?" Jane smiled happy that she somehow helped Maura to discover something she likes.

"Yes. I even found myself cursing at the screen. But it's not the same without you."

"I think I would pay to see that."

"Look Jane, I was born privileged, yes, but the thing my parents taught me was to be open minded and never judge people because they were born less fortunate or were raised in a different culture. I enjoy your company, I think you're the most interesting person I ever met in my life and I would love for you to teach me more things about your world."

"That's very sweet of you Maura, but for your own good you don't wanna be with me trust me."

"How about you stop insulting my intelligence and start letting me make decisions for myself?" Maura chucked rising her voice feeling her face turn red.

"I'm sorry, I'm willing to try my best if you want to give me a chance." Jane mumbled grabbing Maura's seeing the anger on her face.

"Alright, I will be waiting for you to court me then."

"Court you?Really?"

"Yes, I mean you said you have quite a lot of experience in that field, experience that I don't have.."

"You've never been dated a woman before?"

"I have, but not as many as you, I have high standards."

"Well then let me take the lead on this then. Dr Isles would you do me the honor of going out with me tonight?Or any other night?"

"Well I'm afraid I have to study tonight, we have a test next week and I need to be ready."

"I could help you study, you know quiz you…"

"It's on congenital heart disease, I'm not sure you're going to like it."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure I would enjoy hearing the yellow pages if you were the one telling them to me."

"Jane…" Maura smiled blushing.

After two hours of studying Jane and Maura were sitting on the living room floor, with books all over the floor around them.

Jane had been the perfect study partner, she listened to Maura, asked her question showing a genuine interest, which amazed Maura.

After all that hard work the two women decided to relax and Jane started to massage Maura's bare feet.

"So anyway, when you told me you have been with a lot women, why did you mean by that?" Maura innocently asked.

"Do you need a number?" Jane replied as she gently rubbed Maura's feet with her thumb.

"Well if you don't have the exact number can you give me an approximation, are we talking about a two or tree digits number?"

"Look Maura, I could write you a list of all the women I have been with, and I could also write you a list of the women I actually liked and on this list there would only be one name, yours. "

"I know I'm sorry, I mean you're very attractive so I couldn't expect you to be lacking experience you know."

"I'm not proud of my past, well actually I was but it was before I met you, I really like you Maura and I want to try but you need to trust me when I say that my past is my past and you're my present and i hope my future…"

"Alright I trust you."

Right at that moment Jane looked into Maura's eyes and knew it was time for her to make her move. They were on the floor, Maura's legs were on her lap so she slowly leaned over looked deep into her eyes and pressed her lips against Maura's. She didn't move for about a second because she expected Maura to reject her, but she didn't so she moved closer to her, cupped her face with her right hand and continued to kiss her . She could feel that Maura's chest was rising and falling faster and faster , so taking advantage Maura's excitement she gently pressed her tongue against her lips. Maura who could barely breath opened her mouth and welcomed Jane's warm tongue. As they were kissing, their tongues literally dancing together in a perfect synced ballet and Maura's head started to spin.

"_Wow, she sure as experience, and God that italian blood makes her so passionate_." Maura said to herself.

The two women spent another hour kissing and cuddling. Jane was very aroused but managed to restrain herself, she knew Maura wasn't ready for more and that even if she was she wanted them to take their time. So she did her best not to touch Maura in inappropriate place limiting herself to Maura beautiful face , arms and her back fighting hard not to grab her ass . Maura who didn't have that much experience was keen to explore Jane's body and let her hands wander on her arms, belly and back not thinking for a second that it drove Jane's crazy and that it made it a challenge for her not to rip her clothes of.

"_Oh God, I think I better go her hands on my back makes me want to rip her clothes off and just make love to her right here on that floor. Come on Rizzoli put yourself together, she deserves better than this_." Jane said to herself feeling shivers down her spine as she felt Maura's fingers streaming down her back.

"Alright it's getting pretty late an I'm up for an early shift tomorrow, but I can take you out for dinner afterwards." Jane offered breaking off the kiss.

"Oh no it's alright you're probably going to be exhausted after chasing criminals all day , you need your rest." Maura replied trying to catch her breath.

"It's alright, I'll just take a quick nap. And besides if we only go out when I'm not working or when it's slow at work, we'll never see each other."

"Alright, when are you taking me?" Maura asked clapping her hands visibly excited.

"That's a surprise, and don't even think about using either your charm or those psychology classes to make me talk. I'm a trained police officer remember." Jane joked as she stood up grabbing her jacket.

"I know I know, I like surprises."

So Maura accompanied Jane to her car feeling happy and her heart filled with hope .

"I really enjoyed myself tonight…" Maura wandering smiled her hand on the zipper of Jane's jacket.

"So did I. good night." Jane said wrapping her arms around her waist giving a tender goodnight kiss .

Maura spent the rest of the night thinking about how good it felt but also worrying about Jane's past. She obviously wasn't expected her to be a virgin, but she wasn't prepared for what she learned tonight. She wanted to trust Jane and to believe that she could change because she knew she had true and sincere feelings for her and that she was willing to try. Unfortunately Maura was scared that all Jane's good will wouldn't be enough to make her change radically, and knew that she would have to make sure that Jane didn't have any reasons to go back to her troubled past habits.

On the other side of town Jane went to bed feeling butterflies in her belly and that was something she never experienced before. It was a mix of happiness excitement and fulfillment. Maura and her spent over an hour kissing and cuddling but even if she wanted to she didn't even try to get into her pants. For the first time Jane had feelings for a woman and wanted to learn more about her, to know her inside out so she could satisfy her even more. Also she couldn't stop thinking about Maura's comment about not having much experience.

"_She told me she dated women in the past so she's not a virgin, but at the same time she seems awfully shy and not confident about those things. It's weird she's the one who first came on to me hard. Maybe she's just shy, try not to think about sex, it's better if you take your time , you need to be sure of your feelings and of hers as well before taking that step._" Jane said to herself as she was lying in bed thinking about her new girlfriend.

Jane fell quickly asleep that night trying to find the perfect first date. She knew Maura was used to beautiful and expensive places, but she also knew that she was aware that they didn't share the same tastes or bank accounts. So Jane thought of the perfect romantic date that would blow Maura's mind and make her heart melt without burning her credit card. She knew Maura wasn't judgmental about money and that she would rather go someplace significant for Jane and romantic rather than a fancy place where Jane wouldn't feel comfortable.

**So guys are you happy that Jane grew a pair?Things won't go easily of course drama is coming!**


	5. First date

**chapter 5:**

**First date:**

The next day Maura over excited thinking her date with Jane. Unable to stay in her house all day doing nothing she decided to go shopping for a new dress that would take Jane's breath away.

Around 5 O'clock as Maura was getting ready her phone suddenly rang.

"Maura Isles speaking." Maura formally said without checking the caller ID.

" Hey baby, it's me."

"Jane, I was just thinking about you, I know you don't want to tell me where you're taking me tonight but let me tell you that I bought this little white dress that I'm sure you're going to adore." Maura teased checking herself in the mirror.

"About that, we caught a double homicide and I was asked to go through dozens of hours of surveillance's footage. I'm so sorry I'm going to have to cancel."

"Oh, I see, well good luck then. Don't worry we can re schedule our date." Maura replied disappointed.

"I'm so sorry, I had everything planned, please don't hate me." Jane replied hearing Maura's disappointment in her voice.

"Don't worry I understand you're a police officer and you have duties and catching a killer is more important than going on a date with me. "

"No it's not, but yeah it's important. I will talk to you tomorrow alright?"

"Alright, and please be careful."

"Always." Jane replied before hanging up the phone.

So Jane spent the next two hours watching surveillance's tapes feeling guilty. She was lucky Maura was so understanding of her job but was still feeling terrible for standing her up like that especially for their first date. Thinking about it Jane realized that making this relationship would be hard because of a lot of things but she never consider the " job" factor. Jane loved her job, she never complained about overtime and when she was on a case wouldn't go home until it was closed. She knew this kind of life style was incompatible with a relationship and knew she would have to make serious adjustment if she wanted this to work.

Around 7 pm barely capable of keeping her eyes opened Jane saw a familiar figure coming into the squad room.

"Maura?"Jane said as she immediately walked towards her.

"Jane, well you look like you need a break." Maura smiled.

"I do, but what are you doing here?" Jane mumbled pulling her aside.

"I knew you would be working all night and I wanted to make sure that you ate a proper dinner." Maura replied showing Jane what she had brought her.

"Oh sweetie, thanks you, I must say I'm starving." Jane smiled touched by the attention.

"Looks like you found yourself a perfect housewife here Rizzoli." A voice mocked behind her.

"Shut your mouth before I shut it so hard that no dentist in this world will be able to put it back together." Jane threatened giving the man a killer look.

"Come on Jane, let's step out, it was a stupid joke." Maura said her hand on Jane's shoulder trying to calm her down.

"You're right he doesn't deserve that I fight with him." Jane replied dragging her out of the room.

So Jane took Maura to the roof of the building, no body knew it but it was her safe place. She would come here from time to time, watching over the city.

"It's not as romantic as my original plan but the view is unbeatable . " Jane said wrapping her arms around her.

"I agree it's spectacular." Maura replied marveling at the beauty of the city below them.

So Maura and Jane settled down on a table that was left and ate the delicious italian dinner Maura had brought.

"This is delicious, God it' even better than my mom's food." Jane joked.

"Well I'm happy you enjoy it. So now that you're feeling a little bit better would you tell me what that was all about earlier?"

"I'm sorry he was just being a dick.."

"Jane, language!"

"Sorry, he was just being…. a jerk. You know it's one of the down side of being one of the only woman in the team."

"I understand, but if he takes the liberty to make such jokes it means that he accepted you as one of his buddies right?"

"I guess so, trust me it took me a long time to make them take me seriously as a cop. I had to fight twice as hard as any of them but it was worth it. Now they just see me as a cop, but trust me even If I generally feel more comfortable among guys,fitting among them is hard sometimes."

"I understand, so how do you exactly fit in?You go out and see games with them drinking beer, telling them about your conquests?"

"Yeah, well….you know I don't like to brag but sometimes I do share a few things with them you know just like they share things with me."

"Have you share anything about me?"

"Nope, I just told Morales, my partner about you. He saw that my mind was somewhere else during the 3 weeks we didn't talk so I asked him for advice."

"I understand you and him spend your days and night together you must be close."

"We are you know we need to trust each other's with our lives, so we try no to hide anything from each other."

"So if you're close I guess you talked to him about your conquests right …."

"Maura, please don't go there. I admit that sometimes I act like a jerk and tell the guys about my conquests, but don't worry I will never tell them anything about you, I respect you too much for that."

"Thank you, I trust you, I understand being in a male environment you feel the need to fit in and join their conversations sometimes and participate but I do hope you respect me enough not to ell them about our private things."

"I won't. I promise."

"Alright I trust you."

The two women ate dinner and around 8 pm Jane knew it was time for her to go back to work.

"Well thank you for coming it was really sweet of you." Jane said wrapping her arms around Maura as they were riding the elevator.

"It was a pleasure. Wait where are we going?" Maura asked.

"I have a surprise for you .Close your eyes. " Jane smiled as the door opened.

As they were walking out of the elevator Maura couldn't help but recognizing a lot of familiar cents.

"Don't tell we're…"

"At the morgue, Maura meet Dr Cavanaugh our chief Medical Examiner. " Jane said as she took her hands off Maura's eyes.

"Oh I'm God, Doctor it's a pleasure to meet you, I went to several of your lecture last year."

"Really?Jane told me you were a third year and that you were considering becoming a pathologist?"

"Yes, absolutely." Maura replied unable to hide her enthusiasm.

"Perfect than, you can assist me on this autopspy ."

"Really?That would be an honor"

"Please put this on, I would love to be home before midnight for a chance." Dr Cavanaugh said handing Maura a pair of scrubs.

"She's our second victim we found her only a few hours ago." Jane explained looking down at the poor girl.

"Oh, well go back upstairs and continue what you were doing. Thank you for this, I think it was the most perfect date I have ever had." Maura smiled leaning against Jane kissing her tenderly.

"You're welcome, I knew you would like to spend some time down here. Come to see me before you leave I'll escort you out." Jane smiled before walking away.

"Alright." Maura nodded.

As Jane was waiting for the elevator she took a few seconds to observe Maura. She looked so happy to be down there at the morgue and having the opportunity to perform and autopsy on a murder victim.

"Well who knew a dinner on the roof and an autopsy would make her so happy, that girl is really something else."

Around 11 O clock Maura finally came down over excited.

"Jane, you have no ideas how grate it was, she let me do the Y incision and make my own assessment. Thank you." Maura squealed jumping in Jane's arms.

"Well I'm happy you enjoyed it, let me escort you to your car." Jane offered stumbling surprise my Maura's sudden display of affection.

On the way to the parking Maura couldn't stop talking about her recent experience, she was indeed talking so far using so many technical terms that Jane could barely understand her.

"Well it's getting late you better go home and get some sleep, I know you need your beauty sleep." Jane joked cupping Maura's head with her hand, gently rubbing her cheek.

"I don't think I can sleep I'm too excited." Maura replied.

"I'm sure you will." Jane smiled pulling her against her.

"Thank you, it was the most thoughtful thing any body ever did for me." Maura sighed burying her head in Jane's chest.

"Well, you've seen nothing yet I managed to have the day of tomorrow, so I'll pick you up at around 10 ?"

"Alright. Thank you ." Maura sighed enjoying her girlfriend's warm embrace.

That night Maura went to bed over excited thinking about that completely improvised but perfect date. She couldn't help but being extremely attracted to Jane, the way she recklessly defended her, the way she surprised her with something so thoughtful. Maura was smart enough to know not to get emotionally involved too fast. She knew that Jane wasn't the committing type and the last thing she wanted was to scare her off by showing her growing feelings.

At the other side of town Jane couldn't help but thinking that Maura was so different of any other girl she ever met. She understood the down sides of her work, the long hours, the danger and she was even over excited to assist in an autopsy. Jane always knew that finding someone who would accept her passion for her job, the long hours and the risk she was taking would be hard. Fortunately with Maura it was so easy, she understood everything, she could tell her about the case she was working on, Maura would understand everything and show interest. Then Jane started to fantasize about the day Maura could become one of their Medical examiner, thinking it would be awesome to work with her. Jane knew that Maura was brilliant and had no doubt that she was going to be an exceptional ME.

**So guys what do you think?I didn't want their first date to go as planned, a little drama and adventure is always appreciable right?**


	6. Quiet day at home

**Chapter 6:**

**Quiet day at home.**

The day following their " first date" Jane was supposed to be off and spend it with Maura, unfortunately another turned up murdered and Jane was called in to help. For the next two weeks, until they finally caught the murder Jane and Maura barely had time to see each other. Maura was busy studying but always tried to visit Jane at least once a day either so they could have lunch or dinner together, most of the time at the station. Maura didn't complain, she understood Jane had responsibilities and knew the mayor was pressuring them to close this case. Jane, on the other hand felt so guilty for doing this to her and felt overwhelmed by Maura's patience and understanding.

After two weeks they finally caught the murderer and Jane was given 2 entire days to rest, days that she decided to spend with Maura.

"I really don't know how to thank you for being so understanding, really." Jane yawned as she took off her shoes and settled on Maura's sofa.

"It's alright dating a hero has its down side." Maura smile seeing how hard Jane was fighting to stay awake.

"I know, just give me a minute and I'll be able to take you out, I just need to close my eyes for a minutes." Jane slowly said as she fell asleep her head on Maura's lap.

"Don't worry about it you need your rest." Maura smiled stroking her fingers in Jane's hair.

The next day Jane woke up disoriented on Maura's sofa. Without realizing it she had spend the night at Maura's house.

"What the hell?" Jane let out as she sat up.

As Jane was regaining consciousness she saw that Maura had put a blanket over her and had put a pillow below her head. As she stood up she also noticed her shoes were gone.

"That woman is a keeper ." Jane said to herself as she stumbled towards the kitchen.

When Jane arrived in the kitchen Maura was cooking breakfast wearing a very casual pair of jeans and an old t shirt.

"Good Morning officer." Maura enthusiastically said.

"Good Morning Doctor." Jane replied as she wrapped her arms around her standing behind her.

"Did you sleep well?You certainly fell asleep fast."

"I'm sorry about that, I was exhausted I guess, thank you for taking care of me and allowing to crash on your couch." Jane said resting her head on Maura's shoulder.

"It's the least I could do, you're lucky my father wasn't here, I'm sure he wouldn't have like knowing that you spent the night."

"Well lucky for me your parents are never here then."Jane joked starting to kiss Maura's neck.

"Would you take a seat?Breakfast will be ready in a minute."

"Yes Ma'am. You know I'm sorry about your parents never being here, you must feel so lonely is that big house." Jane said holding Maura tighter.

"I'm used to it, don't worry, please take a sit now." Maura gently instructed obviously uncomfortable talking about her parents.

Maura rarely talked about her parents, Jane knew they lived in New-York most of the year and that Maura was living in this house because she had chosen to study in Boston. Even if she was denying it Jane knew Maura was lonely, especially since she didn't have much friends. At first Jane saw Maura as a rich heiress who's life was perfect, but she quickly realized how lonely her life was and started to be grateful that her mother was so intrusive . Jane knew that her parents were neglecting her because of their social responsibilities and their career and was determined not to be the third person to make her feel so lonely.

"Well from now on you'll never have to be alone ever again." Jane said sitting down quickly followed by her girlfriend.

"I know, thank you." Maura smiled.

"I mean it, you're denying it but being almost estranged from your parents must be hard. I always complained that my mother is intrusive but she's always there when I need her. But don't worry I'm here for you from now on."

"I know, but I also know you're busy at work and I have to accept it, I'm sure once I start to work I will be busy as well."

"Well thank you for being so supportive, but I want to make you my priority, not my career. I still want to make Detective, but it doesn't mean I have to neglect you. I'm sure we can make this work."

"I think that's manageable. Please eat before it gets cold."

"Yes Ma'am. " Jane nodded as she took a bite as the delicious omelette Maura had prepared her.

"SO do you have any ideas of how you want to spend your two days off?"

"Well I don't know how I want to spend them but I know I want to spend them with you, all I need is a shower and I'm all yours."

"You have change of clothes in your car right?"

"Yes I do, just give me a moment and I'll find something for us to do."

"Well actually I was thinking we could stay in, I have things to do and I would require your help."

"What kind of things?"

"Well , our foundation is sponsoring a clothes donation program next week and I promised I would donate clothes I'm not wearing anymore. I would need you to help me determine which clothes I could give away."

"Alright then. I'll be happy to help."

So after breakfast Jane took a quick shower and joined Maura in her bedroom.

"May I come in." Jane asked knocking on the door.

"Sure."

When Jane came in she noticed Maura had laid clothes on her bed and was trying to chose which one she could give to the program. Looking around Jane noticed how sober the decoration was. The wall were painted in beige and the only pictures that were on the walls were pictures of monument like the eiffel tour or Big Ben.

"You know we've been dating for 3 weeks and I came here several times and it's the first time you actually invite me into your bedroom." Jane said snaking her arms around Maura.

"I'm a lady Jane, did you expect me to invite you in my bed on the first night?" Maura joked a bit uncomfortable.

The truth was that Maura had been anxious to invite Jane in her bedroom. She knew that Jane was sexually active and that she was probably ready to take their relationship to the next level , but she wasn't...at all and didn't want Jane to get the wrong idea by inviting her into her bedroom.

"Of course not. I like the decoration, it's simple and tasteful."

"Well I'm glad you like it, so should be start?" Maura offered escaping Jane's embrace...

"Alright.." Jane nodded seing Maura's obvious disconfort.

Jane was happy with the way things were between here and Maura. They spent time together talking, learning more about each other. Jane actually surprised herself because she never even once tried or had the desire to try to make her move on her. She enjoyed the talking and cuddling very much. They were taking things slow and Jane was perfectly fine with it. Even if they never really talked about it, she knew Maura had less experience than here and that she was the kind of woman who needed to be truly in love and comfortable before taking that step.

So Jane kept her hands in her pocket and helped Maura sort her clothes and, and that was a challenge. Maura had dozens of clothes that she only wore only but wanted to keep because they " had a story and a soul" and Jane had to convince her that they deserved to be with someone who could wear them every day. Going through Maura's clothes was a good opportunity to learn more about Maura's personality. All her clothes were smart and tasteful, nothing to flashy or too short, confirming that she was really the good respectable woman she appeared to be.

Later that day the couple was taking a well deserved nap on Maura's bed, both women on their side , Jane's hand on Maura's hip.

As the two woman were kissing, Jane let her hands wander on Maura's back , she seemed to be enjoying herself but Jane could feel a bit of discomfort.

"Jane, could we please go downstairs, maybe watch some tv." Maura offered pushing Jane away.

"I'm perfectly fine here, I don't want to watch tv." Jane said trying to kiss her again.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for that yet." Maura apologized sitting up in her bed.

"It's okay sweetheart, don't worry about it." Jane murmured sitting behind her, kissing her shoulder.

"Are you sure?Don't you want to sleep with me?"

"I do, but I want us to take our time , I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do or don't feel ready for. "

"Thank you." Maura sighed, feeling slightly better to see how understanding Jane was.

"You're welcome, we're doing this your way, your speed, take as much time as you need, I'll wait." Jane murmured kissing the back of her neck.

"Thank you."

"How about we go downstairs I think there's a game in a few minutes."

"I would love that."

So that night Maura and Jane watched a game, cuddling on Maura's couch. Jane knew Maura wasn't ready to have sex with her and it was okay, she was developing strong feelings for her and wasn't willing to push her. Maura on the other hand started to worry about the whole sex situation. She knew Jane would be patient, but she also knew she had needs and that she wouldn't wait for ever and that someday she would have to have a conversation with her and tell her what she never told her or anybody else...

**So guys, this was a transitional chapter, next one : I'm bringing the drama!What do you think Maura's secret is?**

**Lisa, love please do not answer I know you know but don't spoil other readers :)**


	7. Jealousy

**Chapter 7:**

**Jealousy:**

After their day at home Jane went home and fell quickly asleep until she received a disturbing phone call.

"Rizzoli." Jane mumbled checking her watch.

"Yeah it's me, what are you doing, and what are you wearing?" A woman asked.

"Nina, Geez you're drunk, where are you?"

"I'm in front of the Candy bar, but I'm on my way home if you wanna meet me there."

"You're not driving home drunk like that wait for me there , I'll pick you up and drive you home." Jane instructed as she stood up and quickly put her clothes on.

"Alright I'll be waiting."

So Jane drove to the popular gay neighborhood stopped in front of the club, went in and dragged her friend out.

"Thank you for picking me up, you're such a good friend." The girl mumbled obviously still intoxicated.

"I don't want you to kill yourself on the road."

30 Minutes later Jane was parked in front of her friend's house hoping she wouldn't be stupid enough to go back to a bar after that.

"Thank you gentleman. " The brunette said leaning over, kissing Jane's cheek.

"You're welcome. Have a good night, I'll call you tomorrow." Jane said leaning over to open the passager's door..

"Wait, I haven't thanked you yet." Nina seductively said her hand on Jane's thigh.

"Knowing that you're safe is enough." Jane replied pushing her hand away.

"Oh, come on Jane come upstairs , I'll make you see stars, or we can do that here in your car."

"I didn't come for that, please go home." Jane uncomfortably said thinking that this situation was going to put her in trouble with Maura later.

"Oh, come on, since when Jane Rizzoli passes on a good shag? Don't you remember how good we are in bed ?"

"I remember, but I'm seeing someone and it's serious. " Jane explained realizing afterwards that it was actually the first time she said it out loud.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I have a girlfriend and it's serious, I'm in love with her, so for the last time get out of the car." Jane ordered more threatening this time.

"Alright, but you'll be back Jane, you're not a one girl type of woman and you know it. Soon she won't be enough for you, you're going to loose interest and dump her, call me when that day comes." Nina said picking up her things as she stumbled out of the car.

On her way home Jane couldn't stop thinking about Nina comment. Was she right?Would she get bored of Maura and dump her at some point?Was it the challenge that Maura was that kept her interested?Will she loose interest as soon as they finally sleep together?

Jane refused to think about any of those questions, she knew that she was truly falling in love with Maura and that sleeping with her would only make her feelings grow , as well as her interest in her, or at least she hoped.

The next day Jane drove to Maura's house, to pick her up for some shopping.

"Hello darling, I missed you ." Jane said as Maura opened the door.

" I missed you too. Please come in." Maura said grabbing Jane's hand inviting her to follow her into the living room where she was watching tv.

"What is that?" Jane said disgusted by what was on the screen.

"It's a video of an autopsy of a burn victim, very educative I must say, what's that on your hand?" Maura asked inspecting Jane's hand.

"Crap, it's a stamp, I thought it would go off after I showered this morning ." Jane said rubbing the top of her hand with her wet thumb trying to get rid of it.

"I can see that, where is it from?"

"From a club."

" But you didn't have it yesterday." Maura frowned disliking what that meant.

At that moment Jane knew that Maura would probably get jealous and even freak out, so she knew she needed to be as clear as possible explaining what happened.

"I know, I went home last night, I was sleeping when a friend called me completely drunk telling me she was going to drive home like that. " Jane explained seeing the worried expression on Maura's face.

"You went out after you went home.?"

"Not exactly . I went there and dragged her drunk ass home. I mean to her house. That's all." Jane quietly rectified .

"Right, you know I'm not stupid , if you went out last night you can tell me." Maura groaned standing up avoiding Jane's touch.

"Why would I do that? I was exhausted, I fell asleep in like 5 minutes."

"Well I refused to let you take things further yesterday when we were in my room…" Maura hinted not willing to throw the sad truth in Jane's face.

"So what?You think my way of dealing with it would be to go out and pick up some random girl?" Jane asked offended that Maura would make such a assumption.

"Well isn't that what you usually do?" Maura jeered irony and bitterness in her voice.

"It was, but that was before I met you. Well I guess I can't hold it against you that you might think that."

"I'm sorry Jane, it's just that you have needs that I can't fulfill right now so I would understand if you needed to go elsewhere to fulfill them."

"You think I slept with all those women because I'm a sex addict? Because I need sex so much?"

"I don't know…" Maura said looking down at her feet.

"I just….I'm screwed up, I know that but my needs are perfectly taken care off, by you. I'm happy to be with you and what I have with you is perfectly enough. I don't want to sleep with any other women than you. I promise." Jane said standing up cupping Maura's face with her right hand.

"But I can't give you that, not yet and I don't know how long it's going to take."

"I told you I would wait. Look Maura if you really want this to work you 're gonna have to trust me and believe me when I say this."

"I know I'm sorry, actually It was very nice of you to take care of your friend."

"She drinks a lot, she was smart enough to call me for help. You know before she called I was in bed dreaming about our day together and telling myself that I was probably the luckiest woman on earth. I don't want to ruin what we have."

"I know, but did she try?I mean did she made a move on you?"

At that moment Jane was split between telling Maura the truth and worry her or lie to her and there fore hurt her. She knew that if she wanted Maura to trust her that she needed to be honest with her.

"She did, but nothing happened, I told her that I was seeing someone and that it was serious."

"Were you tempted?"

"Of course not, you're the only one I'm attracted, Maura please sit down." Jane implored pulling Maura towards the sofa.

"No, can you please just go, I'll call you later." Maura said as she walked away leaving Jane speechless.

"Maura…." Jane sighed watching her walk away.

Jane stood there looking the woman she love walk away and didn't know if she should go after her or give her time.

Following her instinct Jane waited for a few minutes to give Maura time to calm down and went up to her bedroom.

"Please Jane, just go away." Maura begged.

"I'm coming in Maura you like it or not." Jane said as she pushed the unlocked door.

When Jane entered the room Maura was in bed, curled in a ball.

"I don't want you to see me like this." Maura sobbed hiding her face.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I promise that nothing happened." Jane said as she crawled in bed next to her.

"I know, that's the problem."

"What?"

"I mean, you weren't even attracted to her, when I met you, you were " chasing women" As you put it, now you don't even feel desire anymore. "

"No, I never said that I wasn't feeling desire anymore. I said I'm not feeling desire for any other woman except you. Trust me, I might hide it very well, but I'm so attracted to you, yesterday she we were cuddling on your bed, I felt shivers down my spine and butterflies in my belly. You made me so horny, really."

"See, you were horny and you had to restrain yourself, I feel like you're a wild animal that I'm putting on a leech by refusing to sleep with you."

"Oh Maura, not that's not what I meant. Yes I have to restrain myself, but its okay, I don't feel sexually frustrated. We might not have slept together yet, but you're giving me more than any woman ever had. I enjoy talking to you, listening to you talk, holding you against me. I never enjoyed those small moments before I met you. "

"It's called intimacy, being close to someone emotionally …"

"Yes, that's the word I was looking for. I share my bed with many women but I never shared any intimacy with them. When I look at you Maura I see a future. I know I can be the woman you deserve, you just need to trust me and tell me what's on your mind."

"What makes you think that there is something troubling me?"

"Because most woman would be flattered to have a patient girlfriend who doesn't try to push them into bed. You can tell me, I promise no matter what's causing you to react like that , we'll face it together."

"Alright…Remember when I told you I didn't have as much experience as you?"

"Yes…"

"I might have exaggerated the truth. I actually don't have any experience at all."

"You told me you had flings before right?"

"One fling, last year, I met this girl in school, she was part of an international exchange program and we kissed twice, but that's all. I have never been with any other women, or men for that matter."

"You're a virgin?"

"Yes, I know , pathetic right?"

"No, no, of course not, I'm just surprised, that a beautiful, smart and educated woman like you never had the chance to take that step."

"I had, but I never met any body who could match my high standards, I know it's naive and childish of me to fantasize about the perfect woman who would take me on her white horse and give me a fairy tale love story."

"No, it's not stupid, it proves that you have values and that you want to give yourself to someone who truly deserves you. At worse it makes you a helpless romantic, but it doesn't make you stupid."

"Thank you. You're right, I just want my first to be perfect and…."

"And….?"

"You know I was raised by nannies and sent to boarding school when I was 10."

"Yes, the day you told me that was the day I officially started to hate your parents."

"Well, I've never had an affectionate relationship with them or with anybody else, so now the idea of being intimate and physically close to someone scares me because I was never taught how to be affectionate and be comfortable with displays of affection."

"You seem pretty affectionate to me, does that mean I don't make you feel uncomfortable?"

"In a way I feel close to you and I feel comfortable being in your arms and kissing you. Unfortunately after a while, when I feel your pulse rising and your breathing being heavier …"

"You can feel that I want you and it scares you…"

"Yes, and I can't blame you, you're attracted to me and kissing me makes your heart beats rise, it's a perfectly normal physical reaction. I'm sorry for provoking you and than reject you."

"Oh darling, stop saying things like that, you're not provoking me. I have to say, it's a bit frustrating to see you shutting down completely after we kiss for a long time but now I understand and I'll try not be too tactile and obvious ."

"I'm sorry, I know I have a lot of issues I have to solve before I can be ready…"

"Alright then . I told you I would wait for you to be ready and now that I know why you're not ready I'm even more willing to wait and to help you to feel more comfortable with me and your sexuality."

"Thank you…"

"No, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this, I know it must have been hard."

"It was, but I trust you and I couldn't make you wait without telling me about my situation and why I had waited until now."

"I'm happy you told me and to be honest I'm happy you waited."

"Yeah I figured you'd enjoy the idea of being my first."

"You bet I enjoy the idea of being the first and possibly the last woman to make love to you."

"Last?"

"Yes last…"

So Jane stayed in bed with Maura holding her thinking that she was definitely the luckiest woman on earth. She was flattered that Maura was considering giving her virginity to her, but she was also scared. She knew she couldn't screw this up, that Maura obviously had put a lot of hope in their relationship, no she couldn't screw up, she had to grow up and be the woman deserved her to be, even if she didn't know what that meant yet.

**So guys, what do you think?Yes Maura is still a virgin and has intimacy issues, so it's going to take a while for her to allow Jane to touch her and make love to her...**


	8. Talking about the future

**Alright guys, sorry for the delay, I just find a new job and moved into a new flat so I was too excited to write sorry...  
>This chapter is transitional, I hope you like it! <strong>

**Chapter 8 :**

**Planning the future : **

For the next two months Jane and Maura continued dating, taking things slow.

After the important conversation they had they felt closer and more connected than ever . The more time passed the harder it became for Jane to restrain her sexual impulses, but she was trying her best not to pressure Maura or to show her desire . In order to keep themselves from uncontrollable situations they decided not to make out on Maura's bed again and to stay either in the kitchen or living room when in Maura's house. Thanks to Jane's patience and love Maura started to feel more and more comfortable talking about her discomfort regarding her own intimacy and sexuality. Jane did everything she could to work a bit less and to take Maura out at least once a week and to spend one full day with her per week.

That sunday the couple were enjoying a picnic in a park not far from Maura's house. They were lying on the grass on a blanket and were enjoying the sun. Things were perfect, but Jane noticed Maura was a bit distant.

"I hope you're thinking of a dead body and not another woman." Jane joked.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you seem a bit off lately, wanna tell me what's on your mind?"

"I was wondering why I haven't met your family yet."

"Oh…Well I don't know, I mean we've only been dating for 3 months it might be a bit too soon don't you think?"

"No, I don't agree. I think you and I have grown closer every day and I know how close you are to your family. I just feel like not knowing them is like not knowing a big part of you."

"I understand and I want you to know me 200%, but I don't know, I never brought a girl home before."

"Well I thought I was more important than your previous girlfriends."

"Of course you are, it's just my family is…different."

"Are you ashamed of me ?"

"Of course not!I'm so proud that you're with me, trust me. Actually I talk so much about you that my mother already wants to adopt you."

"What's the problem then?"

"It's just….it's a big step for me, I mean you know I've never been in a committed relationship before. When I'm with you things are so simple, but I know that brining my family in our relationship will complicate things."

"You mean introducing me to your family will make things official and therefore serious between us and you're not ready for that yet."

"Maybe, I just want things to stay simple between us you know, I know my mother , as soon as she meets you she's going to start to plan our wedding and choosing names for our kids and that scares me."

"I understand, I certainly don't want to push you, you've been so patient with me and I know this is new for you. I'll wait don't worry."

"Oh baby, please don't be sad…I mean you know that I'm crazy about you and that I want you to meet my mother and when the time is right you will, just like when the time is right we'll make love."

"I know. About what you said about your mother organizing our weeding and naming our kids…"

"Yeah, I never brought any girl home before so my mom knows that if I'm talking about you so much and considering introducing you to them, it means that you're very important to me . You know my mom is very enthusiastic and overwhelming. "

" I understand , so you want to get married and have kids?"

" I never considered it before. I have always enjoyed my freedom and didn't want to be trapped with a wife and kids you know."

"It's perfectly understandable, you're only 22."

"Exactly, at first I said : well I'm young let's take advantage of that and experiment but after a while freedom became loneliness. I just lost myself and I started to believe that I was so screwed up that nobody would ever give me a chance with such a track record you know."

Maura was surprised by what Jane was confessing to her, she always saw her as strong and confident, but in reality she had a very low opinion of herself.

"Well lucky you met me then."

"Yes, I was very lucky to meet you. You gave me a chance and judged me for who I was with you, not on my past, you made me believe that I could have a normal relationship you know."

"Does that scare you?"

"It does, I mean I spent years convincing myself I would end up alone and now I'm with you and I don't know it's unknown and scary, picturing a future with you is scary."

"I know it scares me too, you're right meeting your mother might be a bit overwhelming for both of us. We're not ready to talk about marriage or having children."

"No, we're not and anyway we can't consider having kids before I make Detective and you finish your residency."

"Is your career so important to you?"

"It's not about that, it's just I know your dream is to be a medical examiner and a child before finishing school would put a strain to that. As for my career making Detective is important for me yes, but I also want to be financially secured before we start to have a family you know…."

"You know money isn't an issue…"

"I know you have money, but I want to take care of you and of our family when we decide to start one. We're not living off your trust found, that's not even up for discussion."

"Alright, you know you really have a imposing pride…"

"I'm italian, nothing I can do about it babe, sorry."

"Don't apologize, I found it very sexy and comforting. I feel safe with you."

The two women spent the entire day enjoying themselves, talking about their future, which was scary for both of them.

Maura who was never close to her parents knew that she finally found someone that was going to take care of her and support her. She was trying not to pressure Jane into her introducing her to her parents, but she was eager to meet the Rizzoli clan. She had a feeling that they were going to be the family she never had : caring, supportive, loud.

Jane on the other hand was a bit reluctant to introduce Maura to her family, not because she thought it wouldn't last between them or because was scared that they wouldn't like each other, but because she knew they would. The more time passes the more serious her relationship with Maura was becoming, and making her part of her family was taking a big step she wasn't ready for yet.

**So guys what do you think?I told you it's a transitional chapter...I hope you understand Jane's reasons not to introduce Maura to her mom and the rest of the clan yet... I think we're starting to see Jane's pride regarding money and her desire to take care of Maura, that "Italian Pride"**

**For next chapter I'm split between two ideas...:)**


	9. The Jacuzzi

**Chapter 9 :**

**The Jacuzzi :**

That week marked Maura and Jane's third month anniversary and Jane had prepared the perfect night out to celebrate.

She made sure to take the day off she they could enjoy themselves not worrying about Jane being she was driving to Maura's palace Jane was mentally checking that everything was prepared.

"_Reservations: Checked. Dress: ewwww, me in a dress_ : checked."Jane said to herself.

As she drove inside Maura's estate she noticed a van in front of the house and as she walked towards the house she saw a man coming out, Maura a few feet behind him.

"Hey was that?"Jane said kissing her girlfriend as she entered the house.

"The repairman, our Jacuzzi wasn't working properly."Maura replied inviting her in.

"You have a Jacuzzi?" Jane squealed already imaging them inside.

"Yes we do, on the third floor, the view from it is quite spectacular I must say."

"Let's find out." Jane enthusiastically said holding Maura's hand trying to pull her towards the stairs.

"I don't think that's a good idea, how about we watch some tv?I just made some french croissants that we can eat for breakfast." Maura objected letting go of Jane's hand as she walked towards the living room.

_"Come on, don't tell me she's a prude_." Jane said to herself as she followed her girlfriend.

"I'm sure you're going to love them. I learned that recipe when I was in france ." Maura replied handing a croissant to Jane.

"Thank you. " Jane replied as she took a bite at the croissant.

"So what do you think?"

"It's really good, god you're definitely a catch. What exactly are you doing with me?" Jane smirked snaking her arms around her waist.

"Well you have many qualities other then cooking Jane, would you like me to enumerate them one by one?" Maura mumbled escaping her embrace.

"Well apparently making comfortable isn't one of them."

"I'm sorry. I promise you make me feel safe and comfortable in general."

"But not right now?Is this because I suggested we tried your Jacuzzi?"

"Can we please change the subject?"

"No we can't. How can I make sure not to make you uncomfortable again if we don't talk about it?"

"That's easy don't suggest that you and I engage in any activity that would require that we'd be half naked." Maura said sitting straight on the beige sofa crossing her legs.

"Maura, I'm sorry, I wasn't implying that I was expecting a hot making out session in that hot tub…"

"Really?"

"Yes really, Oh babe, I'm sorry you took my proposition as a indecent one. I've never been in a Jacuzzi before and I was curious to try it. I promise I never wanted to make you uncomfortable . " Jane said a hand on Maura's thighs.

"Do you think you would be tempted to make a move on me?"

"Well I'm sure seeing you in a bikini would ignite my desire but I can control myself . I would never do or try to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I hope you know that baby. "

"I know, I know, it's just we've been dating for three months now and we still haven't made any progress in that department."

"I think we have. I know you're shy and you don't talk about your fears easily, so for me the fact that we're talking about it right is definitely a progress."

"I suppose admitting my fears and facing them is the first step towards conquering them." Maura nodded.

"Exactly. May I ask what are you afraid of ?I mean you know that I won't try to jump your bones in there so…"

"I'm nervous about tonight. It's our 3 months anniversary and you have the right to expect that we take things to the next step that's why I jumped to conclusions."

"First of all, making love in a Jacuzzi isn't how I picture our first time."

"How do you picture it?"

"I picture it, in a romantic place, in a bed, with perfumed candles and nice music after a nice dinner…"

"You're such a cliche sometimes."

"Hey…I'm just trying to be romantic here."

"I know…Please continue…"

"Thank you. Well Secondly it's not because it's our third months anniversary that I have the right to expect anything from you. I know you're not ready and if I have to wait until our first year anniversary I will alright?"

"You would do that?" Maura smiled feeling her heart melt.

"Of course. I think we both know that making love for the first time is an important step just like meeting my parents is and that it needs to be done when the time is right. I think we still have a few steps to take before we're ready."

"And seeing me in a bikini is one of them?"

"Well you can't blame me for wanting to take a peek …You know so I can have something to fantasize about when I'm in my bed, alone at night…" Jane teased.

"Oh my god Jane, are you telling me you ….masturbate thinking about me?"

"Of course not, when I got home after work I'm so tired to go directly to sleep . Don't worry I wouldn't disrespect you like that, but I do have to admit that I have wet dreams about you sometimes."

"I think I can understand that. Considering that you've been abstinent for 3 months, it's perfectly understandable that you express your sexual frustration somehow, and you can not control your dreams."

"Try 5 months, babe, I haven't had sex since the first time we met, well actually it was a week before we met."

"Really?You didn't have sex between the day we met and when we kissed for the first time?"

"No, I went out a couple of times when I went MIA for 3 weeks to try to get you off my system, but I failed miserably."

"Well I'm happy to hear that."

"I only had eyes for you. Now would you tell me the other reason why you don't want us to try that hot tub…"

"Sometimes I hate that you're a police officer and that you know me so well."

"I know I shouldn't use my professional skills for personal benefits, but it's obvious that something is bothering you. I'm here to help you Maura but you need to talk to me."

"I just…I guess one of the main reason why I haven't offered myself to you is because I'm not comfortable in my body. I mean my breasts are too big for my size, my feet are too small and…."

"And I'm gonna have to stop you right here. Maura, you're…perfect ."

"No I'm not. Perfection doesn't exist."

"Well I think perfection is in the eyes of the person looking at it right?"

"I suppose perfection is subjective."

"Exactly and my love I found you perfect. You breasts are the perfect size for your body shape, your feet are adorable. You don't have an once of fat, but you have nice curves. I'm in love with your body and with your heart and your brain of course."

"Thank you. I think you're right, we have several steps to take before making love. If my main issue is my body image maybe I should reveal myself to you, just a bit. Do you think you can teach me to feel more comfortable with my naked or half naked body?"

"Of course I can. I'd understand If you don't want to do this . We talked about it and you admitted one of the reasons why you weren't ready to have sex yet. That's a terrific progress, we don't need to go further."

"I know. I want to do this. How about you go upstairs, second door on your right, you will find a cupboard full of brand new swimming suits. I'm sure you can find one you like and then please turn the Jacuzzi on. I will be joining you shortly." Maura said as she walked towards the door.

"Alright.."

Half an hour later Jane found herself wearing a simple black swimming suit . She turned on the Jacuzzi and waited for a while before sliding in.

"_Alright Jane, this is going to be a challenge. Up until now you did everything you could to avoid putting yourself in an arousing situation. In a few minutes Maura is going to be here with you, half naked and you're gonna have to behave yourself. You obviously can't act like you're indeferent otherwise she might think you're not attracted to her . God the thing that woman makes me do._." Jane said to herself nervously chewing her lips.

A few minutes later Maura arrived wearing a white robe.

"_Oh God, look at how gorgeous she is_." Jane said to herself as she marveled at Maura's beauty as she was walking towards her.

"I know I'm supposed to show myself but can you please close your eyes, I promise I'll do it later."

"Of course sweetheart." Jane replied closing her eyes.

Feeling confident that Jane wasn't going to open her eyes Maura's took the robe off and quickly slid inside the bathtub.

"You can open you eyes now."

When Jane opened her eyes Maura was sitting at the other side of the tub, her legs lifting up against her chest.

Jane could see the discomfort in her girlfriend's eyes and was determined to make her feel comfortable and be as appropriate as possible.

"Hey, come here sweetie, I won't bite you."Jane said offering her hand to Maura preferring to let her come to her rather then coming closer to her.

So Maura slowly moved closer to Jane making sure that her body was covered by bubbles. The closer she got to Jane the faster her heart was hammering in her chest. It was a mix of anxiety and excitement. Yes Maura found herself excited by the idea of Jane being half naked a few feet form her.

"Here you go." Jane said as Maura was now so closed to her that she could kiss her to comfort her and reward her .

"The temperature is perfect, I don't like when it's too hot." Maura smiled trying to make herself more comfortable.

"I just turned it on. You look beautiful by the way." Jane said as she let her fingers wander on Maura's arms.

The two women were so close that their knees were slightly touching. As Maura felt Jane's fingers on her skin she started to feel shiver down her spine. She felt safe knowing that Jane wouldn't do anything she wasn't ready for and that thought alone was comforting her.

As Jane was looking deep inside Maura big brown eyes, she suddenly realized that Maura was the one. She realized that she was truly in love with her and that she genuinely wanted to take her time with her and so everything in her power to make things work.

"I love you Maura." Jane whispered as she slowly leaning over gently kissing Maura's generous lips.

"I love you too Jane." Maura replied as she slowly opened her mouth to welcome Jane's tongue.

As the two women were kissing, wandering their hands on each other's arms and naked backs they felt overwhelmed by a flow of emotions. Both women always felt lonely in their lives : Maura always felt unable to connect with people despite her numerous travels and speaking 5 language fluently. On the other hand, Jane despite the multitude of women that she had shared a bed with always felt alone in the universe convinced that she wouldn't never found the half of her soul that was missing. Luckily both women had found each other and now felt complete for the first time in their life. Actually as they were holding and kissing each other they felt like their two bodies and souls were melting into one….

**So guys what do you think?It wasn't too hot but it's a first step right?Next chapter will go a step further:)**


	10. Happy anniversary

**Sometimes you meet someone and you instantaneity know that this person is about to change your life for the best, but it takes you a while to have the guts to face your feelings , but when you do...You feel alive for the first time in your life.**

**Chapter 10 :**

**Happy anniversary: **

As they broke the kiss Jane could see tears streaming down Maura's face.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Jane asked wiping the tears off her face with her thumb.

"Nothing, I just…never felt like this before. I can't l loose you." Maura mumbled shaking.

"Hey, look at me, you're not going to loose me not now, not ever. Let's get off this tub so we can talk." Jane said leaning over to grab Maura's rob that was lying on the edge of the Jacuzzi.

"Thank you." Maura replied as Jane handed her the robe her eyes respectfully closed.

As they were getting off the tub Jane kept her eyes closed so she wouldn't see Maura's body, not that she didn't want to but it was a matter of respect.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, I meant what I said I love you." Jane murmured as she snaked her arms around Maura.

"I know. I love you too. How about we lay down for a while? I studied late last night I'm exhausted."

"Alright." Jane nodded following Maura into her bedroom.

Without realizing it Jane and Maura found themselves lying down on Maura's bed, Jane on her back and Maura on her left side her head resting on Jane's chest listening to her heart beats.

"Your heart is beating so fast." Maura said her right arms across Jane's stomach.

"It's beating that fast for you, only you Maura, you're the only one for me I promise." Jane replied stroking her fingers through her long silk hair.

"I know." Maura sighed.

Holding Maura like that Jane felt closer then she ever felt to a woman before. She never felt so certain of her feelings and of what she wanted in her entire life and it scared her. Up until now she was lucky enough to be able to reassure Maura on everything by talking to her or by showing her how much she loved her. Unfortunately Jane knew that she wasn't perfect and that she didn't have the answer to everything. She was lucky enough that Maura usually told her exactly what she needed or wanted but she was scared that might not be enough at some point. She knew that Maura had abandonment and intimacy issues because she was neglected by her parents and that she would never be ready to make love until she felt certain that Jane would never leave her. Thinking about it Jane found the perfect way to prove her feelings and commitment to her, she would have to change the plans she had made for tonight, but she knew Maura would love it.

"I hope you're going to like the place I'm taking you to for our anniversary."

"How about we stay here and order in?"

"Why do you always prefer to stay in, are you ashamed of me or something?"

"Of course not, it's just where ever we go I can feel women staring at you like they want to eat you up and I don't like it." Maura groaned.

Maura Isles was well educated and was raised not to show her feelings and makes scenes so when a woman would look at Jane in an appropriate way she would just look the other way.

"Easy tiger, you should be flattered, even if they stare at me, I'm with you and I always make sure they know it. Besides both men and women look at you all the time."

"Yes but you don't have to wonder if I slept with them or not."

"Oh, Is this what this is all about?You don't want to go in public places with me because you're afraid that we might run into one of my exes?"

"Yes . I don't want to be confronted to any of those gorgeous women, just so I can reminded that I can't compete with them."

"You're right, you can't compete, you're not in the same league , actually you're a league of your own."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that's your smarter, funnier, sexier than any of those women. I'm sorry my past is making you uncomfortable and make you doubt yourself. Trust me If I could erase it I would but I can't. The only thing I could do is making sure not to ever take you to a place where we might run into one of them. "

"You're sweet. You're I shouldn't be embarrassed, but flattered and proud that you chose me over any other woman you could have chosen. I think if we met one of your past conquest she would be jealous to see that you're with me and that it's serious."

"Exactly, well not that I like to brag, but yes you should be proud, so don't worry about it."

"I know, I hope you're taking me to a nice place tonight."

"Trust me you're going to like it..."

The truth was that even if Maura knew she should feel proud to be with Jane especially with women hitting on her all the time, but she wasn't. Every time a woman smiled at Jane Maura wondered if they slept together. She would start picturing them together, Jane kissing her, touching her making love to her, and it hurt, every single time. Maura knew she shouldn't feel like this because Jane never even look or smile back at any of those women, but she couldn't help it. Not being able to give Jane what those women could and certainly did in the past made her feel unconfident about herself.

So that sunday night Jane decided to celebrate their 3 months anniversary to take Maura to a very special place.

"Come on Maura just pick one dress already." Jane complained her arms crossed on her chest.

"I'm sorry Jane, but I want to be presentable tonight, especially if you take me to a fancy place." Maura replied standing in front of her wardrobe.

"I know, how about the yellow one? I like it."

"Alright then, yellow dress it is."

Half an hour later Jane was waiting for Maura in front of her car, her heart hammering her chest. She knew what she was about to do would change their relationship for ever, but she was ready . Seeing Maura making so much effort to open up to her and to try not to be so shy of her body, Jane knew she had to make an effort as well, to show Maura she wasn't the only one working on their relationship.

"Come on put this on." Jane said handing a sleeping mask to her girlfriend.

"No, that's going to completely ruin my hair."Maura objected offended that Jane could even suggest such a thing.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise, please."

"Alright." Maura reluctantly nodded as put the sleeping mask on her eyes.

As Jane was driving, she could feel that Maura was a bit nervous, probably because she couldn't see were they were going.

"Don't be nervous, I promise food is going to be terrific and the atmosphere will be pleasant as well." Jane smiled gently squeezing Maura's thigh.

" I know."

After about 40 minutes of driving Jane finally stopped her car and took a deep breath.

"Are you ready?"

"I am." Maura nodded.

"Alright then I should take this off." Jane replied delicately taking the sleeping mask off Maura's face.

"Where are we?" Maura asked looking around them.

"In front of my parents' house, it's sunday night so expect lasagnas."

"Oh God Jane, why…now?"

"Well , I was planing on taking you to that fancy french restaurant you've telling me about for weeks but I realized that today was important and I needed to give you something to show you how important you are to me."

"But I thought you weren't ready…"

"I was scared, because I thought that you would dump me at some point after realizing how screw up I was. I know that introducing you to my parents is a big step and it makes our relationship official and real and I'm just scared but I'm ready."

"Oh Jane, I knew who you were from the minute we had that conversation, but I still kissed you. If I wanted to leave you I would have done it that day. I love you for who you are with your bad trades, and your weaknesses which aren't that numerous I must say. I appreciate you're showing me your commitment by taking me to your family dinner. I'm just a bit nervous."

"Don't worry they already love you. Come on." Jane said opening the door.

"Alright." Maura nodded getting out off the car as gracefully as she could.

As they were walking towards Jane's house Maura felt her heart beating faster at every step she took and as they were finally in front of the door she squeezed Jane's hand as hard as she could.

"Are you ready to go in?"

"I am." Maura replied as Jane pushed the door.

"Ma, Pop where are you?" Jane yelled as they entered the living room.

"In the kitchen." A distant voice yelled back.

"Remember, she already loves you." Jane said as she pushed the kitchen door.

"I know..."

"Jane sweetheart, what a nice surprise." Angela said as she gave her daughter a long warm hug.

"I'm sorry I have been busy, but I brought you someone. " Jane replied as she turned around only to see that Maura wasn't behind her.

"The invisible man?" Angela joked.

"No, Maura, what are you doing here?"Jane said opening the kitchen door, Maura still on the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry Jane, I started to hyperventilate." Maura said looking down at her feet.

"Oh sweetie just breath everything is going to be okay." Jane said pulling Maura against her.

"So who is this person you brought me?" Angela said as she pushed the kitchen door.

"Ma, this Maura, Maura, this is my mother." Jane said anxious to see her mother's reaction.

"Nice to meet you Maam." Maura politely said offering her hand to Angela.

"Please call me Angela, come here." Angela said as she pulled Maura against her giving her a welcome welcome hug.

Feeling Angela's warmth as she was holding her, Maura felt a sensation she never felt before. Her mother never hugged her or kissed her goodnight, she grew up being taught that showing affection were innapropriate.

"Would you let her go, she can't breath." Jane joked pulling Maura back in her own arms.

"Oh, what are you complaining about? You ve been hiding her from us for such a long time that now I'm never letting her go. Please take a seat."

"I apologize Mrs Rizzoli, I have a very tied studying schedule and I barely have the time to do anything other than studying." Maura explained as she sat next to Jane.

"This house sounds empty, where are the guys?"

"Have you forgotten?They're at the cabin, fishing. Tommy was so excited that he didn't sleep last night."

"Oh right, I forgot, god I loved those fishing trips growing up."

"You could still enjoy them if you weren't so busy saving the city."

"Ma!Stop that please, you know my job is important for me and if I want to make Detective I can not afford to count my hours, and besides for your information, I actually cut down my hours to spend more time with Maura."

"Is that right?"

"Yes it is. Jane was working almost everyday when we met, but now she takes at least a day off per week and tries to come home at reasonable hours. Obviously I can not object when she caught up at work, murder investigations are far more important than dinners . I understand she has priorities and duties."

"That's very well spoken."

"Well Maura is very understanding, and she's right, I can't really choose my hours, or when we got a case, but I try to make to make time for us. I've seen so many of the guys loosing their wives because they neglected them. I don't want my job to interfere with our relationship."

"It seems you've grown a lot Jane, I think I should thank Maura for that."

"I'm the one who should be thanking her. Before I met Jane I was focusing on studying . Between that and my rotations at the hospital I never took time for myself. She helped me realized that there are more important things than studying."

"You got that right. So Jane told me you're a fourth year medical student."

"Yes, I still got 6 months before I graduate and next I will be able to start my residency in forensic pathology and also obtain my medical license to practice in the state. " Maura replied trying not to overwhelm Angela with too many details.

"Wow, so we're finally gonna have a Doctor in our family." Angela said clapping her hands together.

"Well I'm going to be a Doctor in 6 months, but I still have at least 5 years of studying forensics before I can become a medical examiner."

"Wow, you're certainly determined and devoted, I like that." Angela said shaking her head.

As the 3 women were talking Maura felt more comfortable that she anticipated. Talking with Angela was so easy, not only she showed genuine interest in her, asking her tons of questions, but she was also a very good listener. As they were eating dinner Maura felt like the center of attention, she was truly enjoying herself and felt closer to Angela than she ever felt to her own mother. Looking back she felt a bit stupid for being so scared of meeting her mother in law, Angela was as warm and welcoming as Jane was, yes the apple never fell too far from the three.

At the end of the night as Jane was helping her mother cleaning up the dishing while Maura was cleaning the dining table Jane took the opportunity to ask her opinion.

"So what do you think?She's great isn't she?"

"She's great, she's smart, ambitious, gorgeous, understanding of your job and the way she looks at you, she's clearly in love with you."

"So I am Ma, she's the one, I can feel it in my guts."

As Jane was professing her love to her mother Maura was standing right behind the door, listening to every word, her heart filled up with happiness. The way Jane talked about her to her mother touched her so deeply that she could barely hold her tears. If she had any doubts before she was now 100 % sure : Jane was the one and she needed to prove it to her...

**So guys, what do you think?I figured it was easier for Maura to meet Angela first before meeting the guys as well.**

**Next chapter...nope not saying anything.**

**I know guys, I showed Jane at work but not Maura. Writing this chapter I realized that I should show her at the hospital, because as she said she started rotations and that should be fun to write about :)**


	11. Proof of love

**Chapter 11:**

**Proof of love : **

As Jane was escorting Maura inside her house she couldn't help but noticing the happy smile on her face.

"That was certainly an interesting night." Maura said as she took of her shoes as she was walking to wards the kitchen.

"Yes it was, I told you she would love you. I wish you could have met my dad and my brothers."

"Well I love your mom to, it's incredible how she welcomed me with opened arms right away."

"You can say everything you want about my family but we are warm and welcoming especially my mother who by the way wants to adopts you now."

"If we weren't dating I would have accepted but it would be slightly inappropriate for two sisters to date right?"

"Eww not to mention gross."

"Yes, that as well. Would you like a cup of tea?Those lasagnas were quite delicious, but I need something to help me digest."

"No, thank you I should probably get going, I work night tomorrow so we can spend the day together if you want. You start you new rotation next week we better take advantage of the free time you have left." Jane offered moving closer to Maura hoping for a good night kiss.

" I know…How about we spend the night together?" Maura offered moving closer to her.

"Come again…" Jane muttered unable to believe what Maura just offered her.

"Let me rephrase : would you like to spend the night with me?" Maura said wandering her finger on Jane's jacket amused by the surprised look on her face.

"I would like that more then anything trust me, but I have to say no."

"Oh… okay… I that's what you wanted." Maura replied taking a said back obviously offended.

Asking Jane to stay overnight was such a big step for Maura. By inviting her into her bed, not only she was showing her how much she loved her, but also how much she trusted her not to take advantage of the situation.

"I do want to spend the night with you but after everything that happened today, I'm not sure that I could sleep in the same bed as you and be able to control myself. I don't want to take advantage of the fact that you feel so happy because you met my mother."

For the first time in her life Jane refused to share a bed with a woman she was madly attracted to not to mention insanely in love with. Since the first day they met Jane knew that Maura was a lady and deserved to be treated with honor and respect. For the first time in her life she was trying to do what's best, not what she was dying to do for months.

" I trust you Jane. I know you can behave yourself ." Maura replied sensitive to the effort Jane was demonstrating trying to be the perfect gentleman.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"I am, I just want to fall asleep and wake up in your arms feeling your breath on me and your arms around me. I'm ready…" Maura said showing a confidence Jane had rarely seen.

"Alright then.."

A few minutes later Maura and Jane found themselves in Maura's bedroom, Jane sitting on her bed and Maura looking for some night clothe for Jane to wear.

"_I can't believe I'm here, in Maura's bedroom about to spend the night with her. In a few minutes I'm going to be lying in bed holding her against me. How Am I supposed to control myself? Kissing her makes me want her so bad, I can't imagine the effect of sleeping with her will have on me._" Jane said to herself sitting on Maura's bed trying to remain calm.

"Alright I think this should fit you, it's too long for me and this this Boston PD t-shirt you gave me is too big as well. Should fit you perfectly." Maura proudly said handing Jane the clothes.

"Alright."

"I'm going to change in the bathroom. It shouldn't take long." Maura said as she left Jane behind.

A few minutes later Jane had put the clothes on and lied on Maura's bed waiting for her.

"_Alright Jane, you can do this. It's not like you've been thinking about her naked body ever since you made out with her in a Jacuzzi . Oh God, how Am I supposed to do that? I haven't had sex in 5 months, that's alone is a miracle. Having her next to me and not being able to touch her is going to be the most challenging thing I have ever done in my entire life. Come Rizzoli, you can do this, do not think of her gorgeous lips, her generous breath, come On!_" Jane ordered herself slapping herself twice trying to put herself together.

A few feet away Maura was sitting on the edge of her bathtub talking to herself as well.

"_Come on Maura, you're a scientist, just analyze the facts : You spend all your free time with each other, you support each other 's careers, you openly talk about your fears and expectations. and about your future together. Jane has always been so patient and caring with you, not to mention she introduced you to her mother and told her you were the one. She is clearly completely devoted to you not to mention deeply in love with you_._ Now you have enough evidence to conclude that you and Jane are truly in love and that you're ready for this_." Maura said to herself trying to reassure herself that she was making the right decision.

A few minutes later Maura came back in her room and immediately crawled in bed next to Jane who was on the right side of the bed. She was wearing a blue pajama and a simple white tank top that was flattering her generous breasts.

"Are you alright?You spend half an hour in there." Jane joked trying to make Maura more comfortable.

"I'm fine thank you. I needed to take my make up off , to brush my teeth and to fix my hair. Do you need to use the bathroom?" Maura politely offered as she slid under the covers as close as she possibly could to her girlfriend.

"I'm good thanks, I'm not wearing any make up and I brushed my teeth before we left my mom's house. She insists that I do it before I leave."

"Well she's right, dental hygiene is important." Maura replied feeling her heart beats increasing as she felt Jane's arm around her shoulder.

As Maura was in Jane's arms her head resting on her chest she felt safe and loved. As they were lying in silence Jane was trying to stay still and to behave herself, but the view on Maura's breasts and feeling them against her weren't making things easy for her. As Maura was listening to Jane's heart beats she noticed that feeling her so close to her had a certain effect on her girlfriend so she slid her hand below her t-shirt and started to roam her fingers on her stomach outlining every muscle…

"Oh Maura, you…shouldn't be doing that."Jane mumbled feeling her pulse rise and she felt Maura's fingers wandering on her skin.

"I have been dying to feel those abs ever since I saw you wearing that bikini." Maura replied amused that she could destabilize someone with Jane's experience.

"Oh God, If you don' t stop I don't think Ill be able to control myself much longer…" Jane pleaded as she started to feel more and more aroused.

"Then don't…"

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"Jane asked looking down into Maura's big brown eyes.

"Yes." Maura replied her hand starting to shake.

Looking down at her girlfriend Jane could see how anxious she was, but she could also see the unconditional love.

"Oh baby, you're shaking, calm down. I'm not sharing your bed because I want us to have sex with you, alright? I love you." Jane said kissing Maura's forehead.

"I know, but I want to. I want you to make love to me Jane. I'm ready." Maura said more confident this time.

Seeing the desire and determination in her girlfriend's eyes, she knew that really wanted to take that next step. Fortunately for Maura Jane knew her well and she knew she wasn't ready, that her sudden enthusiasm was guided by everything that had happened today, but she knew better then contradicting her.

"Alright baby, but if you want me to stop all you need to do is ask. I will never force you to do something you're not ready for." Jane promised looking deep inside Maura's eyes.

"I know."

So Jane rolled on her side and gently started to kiss her lips her hand on her belly.

"I love you so much." Jane whispered kissing Maura's chin.

Feeling that Maura was tensed Jane decided to take things slow and started to blow kisses on Maura's chin,cheek, all the way to her ear lobe.

"I love you too." Maura replied feeling Jane gently tickling her ear lobe with the tip of her tongue.

She was trying to relax and enjoy herself and found herself excited as she felt Jane's tongue wondering on her neck.

As Jane was roaming her lips on Maura's skin she slowly slid her hand under her tank top leaving her hand on Maura's stomach at first, no willing to rush things and scare her off.

She could feel Maura' s chest rising and falling faster her breathing becoming shallower.

"Is this okay?"Jane asked looking for approval.

"Yes, please continue."

Jane Rizzoli had slept with dozens of women and knew exactly how to satisfy them, but this time it was different. She was in love with Maura and was determined to take her time, to show her how much she loved her and pleasure her like she never pleasured any woman before. She knew Maura probably wouldn't be able to reciprocate but she didn't care, her priority was to make her girlfriend feel loved and cared for.

Feeling that Maura was starting to relax Jane moved her attention from her lover's neck to her beautiful chest. The white tank top she was wearing was literally popping her breasts up flashing them in Jane's face.

As she was wandering her tongue on Maura's clavicle moving slowly towards her breasts Jane couldn't help but thinking how tasty and soft her skin was.

"_Her skin is soft as silk and she tastes so good_." Jane said to herself slowly moving down to those gorgeous breasts she had been dying to taste for so long.

Feeling Jane's tongue on her skin, Maura knew what her intentions were, she knew that even if she tried not to stared too much that Jane loved her breasts.

"Oh Jane…"Maura moaned stroking her fingers in Jane's hair.

Feeling encouraged by Maura's moans Jane gently started to caress her belly, moving towards her breasts.

"Oh…." Maura squirmed her jaw quavering from the intensity of her emotions.

As she felt more and more aroused Maura could feel her excitement manifesting itself in her panties.

As Jane almost reached Maura's breast with her right hand, she couldn't believe how lucky she was. She was about to make love to the most gorgeous woman on earth, to a woman who waited to meet her to give herself completely.

As Jane finally reached Maura's left breast she gently started to stroke her already erected nipple with her thumb feeling her lover's heart hammering her chest.

"Oh baby…" Maura whispered hoarsely as she felt Jane's gentle fingers caressing her breast.

Jane was truly enjoying herself, being able to touch Maura like this, but she wanted more, she wanted, she needed to taste her.

"Can you take this off?" Jane asked.

"Sure." Maura agreed as she quickly took her tank top off.

As Maura lied back on her pillow Jane couldn't help but marveling at the beauty of Maura's breasts. Even if they were if they were in the dark, she could clearly see their shapes, perfect, just perfect.

As Jane continued to stroke Maura's left breast with her right hand she started to kiss her right breast, drawing circle around her nipple with the tip of her tongue.

"Oh….oh…." Maura panted feeling the hot dampness inside her pants.

"You taste so good baby." Jane replied lapping Maura's erected nipple.

Being half naked, letting Jane taste her like that Maura felt so vulnerable, she was completely giving herself to Jane, letting her guard down.

Feeling that Maura was already highly excited Jane decided to take things to the next level and slowly started to wander her tongue on Maura's torso, all the way to her belly.

Seeing Jane's head disappearing Maura knew what was going to happened and it scared her.

"_Come on Maura, you're a grown woman, you came that far…_" Maura said to herself looking down at Jane who was tenderly kissing her belly button .

Feeling not objecting from Maura's Jane, while continuing to kiss her belly , moved her hand towards Maura's inner thighs hoping to feel her wetness though the fabric.

"Jane…Please stop." Maura suddenly objected.

"Alright babe, alright." Jane said immediately moving up to face Maura, kissing her forehead.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was ready.." Maura apologized as she started to cry.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry, it's okay, we have all the time in the world, I love you. Thank you for trying. Here, put this on." Jane said handing her tank top to her.

"Can you please turn around?" Maura asked covering her breasts with the small piece of clothes.

"Of course baby, I'm sorry." Jane replied respectfully obliging .

The two women were in complete obscurity but Jane was a gentleman, she knew Maura probably felt extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable and didn't want to make things worse.

"You can turn around now."

When Jane turned around Maura had lifted the blanket up to her chin covering her entire body.

"Would you like me to go?" Jane said wiping a tear of her girlfriend's face.

"Please stay.." Maura mumbled.

"I'm not going any where baby…I promise." Jane said snaking herself around her girlfriend.

The two women remained silent, Jane felt terrible for agreeing to try knowing that she wasn't ready and Maura felt so stupid for not letting Jane taking a step further.

"_How stupid can I be to do this?She wasn't ready for that, well done Jane! You were so horny and desperate to get some action that you completely screwed up. You'll be lucky if she lets you kiss her now._" Jane said to herself knowing that what had just happened would probably send them 10 steps back.

"_How childish are you?You're a 23 year old woman who's in love with the most passionate, tender woman you ever met and you reject you what 's wrong with you?You know Jane has needs . Until now she has been so patient and understanding but after tonight she's probably going to give up on you thinking she's never going to be satisfied with you . You'll be lucky if she remains faithful before breaking up with you. Well done Dr Isles, you just ruined your relationship_." Maura said to herself as she felt tears rushing to her eyes.

Both women remained silence blaming themselves for what happened. Jane knew that Maura would feel terrible for taking a step back like that after asking her to make love to her. She knew it was up to her to show her that it didn't change anything, that she still loved her and that she was still willing to wait until she was ready.

Maura on the other hand was determined to show Jane how sorry she was to arouse her like that only to reject her a few minutes later. She didn't want to lose her or to push her into another woman's bed.

**So guys, what do you think?You didn't expect me to give you a hot love making session that easily?Come on in real life things never go that easily especially for someone who has trust issues and body image issues like Maura. Do you think what happened tonight is going to hurt their relationship?**


	12. Time for confessions

**Alright guys, thanks so much for the reviews, I know I made a few of you angry but Im impressed that most of you understood why Maura wasn't ready...:)**

**Chapter 12:**

**Time for confession :**

The next morning Jane was the first to wake up. Her first reflex was to go downstairs and make Maura some breakfast, but she didn't want to take the risk of her waking up to an empty bed.

So she lied there marveling at her beauty, wondering how she could fix what happened last night.

Around 9 am Maura finally opened her eyes, only to see Jane above her looking at her with such loving eyes.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"Terrible, please don't look at me like that." Maura groaned flipping on her side turning her back on Jane.

"Like what?" Jane asked confused.

"Like you're so in love with me and nothing that happened last night could ever change that."

"It's true. I love you and I'm sorry about last night it was my fault not yours. You weren't ready and I pushed you." Jane replied snaking her arms around her.

"You didn't push me. I offered myself to you, only to reject you when things were about to get serious."

" And I love you even more for what you did, it was a extreme proof of love and trust." Jane said kissing Maura's shoulder trying to calm her down.

" You're not mad at me?" Maura asked turning around.

"Of course not. As I said I knew you weren't ready. I just didn't want you to think that I didn't want you, so I let you offer yourself to me hoping that I could help you feel more comfortable, I'm sorry. "

Listening to Jane Maura could hear the sincerity in her voice and she could see the love in her eyes, she felt genuinely guilty for the way things turned out last night. Jane was right if she had refused to take things further last night Maura would have interpreted it as a sign that Jane didn't desire her.

"But..you were excited. I don't have much experience but I could feel you were already aroused just by touching me..."

"Of course I was excited, you're so gorgeous , how could I not be?It was hard for me to stop, I admit it, but it was your decision to make not mine. I could never pressure you or push you further then you're ready to go."

"I know what I mean is you obviously have needs Jane, and as much as you love me and as much as you're willing to wait, those need won't be fulfill with me. not now at least."

One of Maura's biggest fear was not being able to satisfy Jane. She gave her everything she could : her love, her trust, her time, but she wasn't able to give her that one thing that she knew had always been so important to Jane : sexual satisfaction.

"My needs are perfectly taken care of baby, you made me realize that love is so much more important than sex. Yes I was excited last night but not because I was so horny for not having sex for 5 months, but because I was sharing that special moment with the woman that I love, a woman who loves me so much that she was willing to give me her virginity. I was as much excited emotionally that I was physically."

"You're so sweet, I love you so much." Maura said caressing Jane's face with the back of her hand.

"I love you too baby, I do. I promise you I will never take advantage of you again. I knew you weren't ready that you were just overwhelmed by what happened in the Jacuzzi and meeting my mom. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"Don't apologize, you didn't force me or push me, I wanted to, I still do, I don't know why I changed my mind like that."

"It was too soon. You kept your virginity for 23 years, and we've only been dating for 3 months. We have several steps to take before we can be ready for this . I promise I would do anything ."

The truth was Jane knew exactly why Maura changed her mind . It wasn't because she didn't want it or because she didn't love her, but because she still didn't trust her. She spent the last 3 months being caring, patient and understand with her but Maura still didn't trust her, how could she blame her?With her past it was understandable that Maura didn't trust her, especially after only 3 months. Jane had changed a lot over the past 3 months it was still not enough.

"There is something you can do. You can tell me about your past. I want to know everything about the women you slept with before we met."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I need to know who you were before you met me, so I can see how much you changed and so I can trust you." Maura explained.

Maura was right, how could she feel certain that Jane was sincere with her and that she had changed completely if she didn't even know who Jane was before they met? The only thing she knew was that Jane never had a serious relationship and that she accumulated one night stands.

Jane lied there wondering if she should tell Maura the truth. She knew Maura needed to know who she was before she met her so she could see how much she changed and therefore, trust her, but she was scared that it might have the opposite effect. The only thing she had told her was that she had been with a lot of women, that she never took the time to know them, that she just slept with them and left them right once they were done. She didn't know how many women she had been with and how many hearts she had broken, because she had. What Jane loved was to chase women, she liked challenges and she did what ever it took to convince women she was sincere, including lying to them and promising them things she knew would never happen. Yes, before meeting Maura, Jane was a master in manipulation.

She was scared that by telling Maura about her past she would never trust her and would just feel like another pray.

"I don't know Maura, trust me you don't want to know the things I did. I was a jerk, if I tell you , you're never going to trust me or believe I'm sincere with you."

"Jane, look at me. I love you. I might be naive and inexperienced but I can recognize love when I see it. I imagine you might have manipulated women to obtain their favors, but I know you're sincere with me. I know you have changed, otherwise you would have dump me or worse, cheat on me."

"I understand to give yourself to me completely you need to know me completely."

"Yes, but I know that I love you for who you are today and I love you even more knowing that you changed so much. I just need to know about your past. I spent the last 3 months telling myself I didn't want to know, but I need to know. If I'm kept in the dark, how am I suppose to face it when your past eventually shows up?Because it will Jane, even if you're doing your best to keep me from running into one of your past conquests one day it's going to happen and if you want me to be able to handle it…"

"You need to know in advance so you can process it properly instead of having in throw in your face?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

So Jane told Maura everything she wanted to know, from her first time at the back of her dad's truck with that girl when she was 16, to how she drove her home afterwards and never spoke to her again. She told her about every single ruse she ever used to make women believe she was genuinely interested in them when all she wanted was to have sex with them. She didn't lie or hold information, she told her everything, including what kind of sexual practices she experimented like tree ways or bdsm ...

Maura lied there in silence listening to Jane telling her how she manipulated and deceived dozens of women on purpose. Jane was telling her about how she always enjoyed seducing unexperienced women, that she loved the idea of taking a girl's virginity. She also confessed that she had so much more pleasure if she had to fight hard to convince the girl . The woman Jane was portraying was nothing like the Jane she knew and fell in love with, it was a completely different person

When Jane was finally finished, Maura stayed mute for a moment, took a deep breath and before telling her how she felt.

"Why me?I'm sure you met a lot of nice girls before, so why did you change for me?"

"I don't know, you're right I met a lot of nice and innocent girls like you before, but you're the only one who made my heart beat to fast that I almost forgot how to breath. I know people don't change over night, but since the first day I met you I never lied my eyes or desired another woman. I don't know why, it just happened."

"It's because, we're soul mates Jane, it's that simple."

"But we're so different. "

"No weren't not, you were simply not yourself before you met me, just like I was just barely alive before I met you."

"I know…"

The two women spent the rest of the day cuddling in bed.

Jane couldn't believe how understanding Maura was, she really thought that she was completely going to freak out if she told her about her past in details like she just did. She thought she would never believe in her sincerity after such confessions , but she was wrong, Maura was still here, she loved her and trusted her.

Maura tried her best not to show how shocked she was, but she didn't want Jane to think she was judging her. She once told her she would never judge her for her past but for the person she was now with her and she was determined to keep that promise. Maura lied there next to Jane touched by her honesty and her sincerity, but still in shock, she knew it would take her some time to process, but she really needed to know. The woman she pictured was so far from the Jane she knew and loved that Maura couldn't help but feeling flattered . She couldn't help but thinking that if Jane changed that much for her it must be because she really loved her. Listening to Jane's confessions didn't scared Maura off or made her think less of her girlfriend. It had the opposite effect, it comforted her in her feelings, and her certainty that they were meant to be together.

**Alright guys, what do you think?I think Maura needed to know more about Jane's past before giving herself to her completely. Of course, you know me, Maura won't be ready over night, but she's getting there. Be prepared next chapter is going to be full of new informations...**


	13. Sex talk

**Chapter 13:**

**The sex talk : **

For the next few days Maura and Jane barely saw each other. Maura promised Jane that her recent confessions didn't change the way she felt but she needed time to process, and Jane accepted it. She was aware that Maura had been extremely understanding and non judgmental regarding her past and the least she could do was give her space and time to process. Actually Jane was happy to have a little time for herself to think about her future and the more she thought about it the clearer it was : Maura was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Unfortunately even if Maura loved her and was willing to trust her and overlook her past , Jane knew that things wouldn't be as easy as she would have wished. Even if they made great progress Maura still had intimacy issues and they would need to work on them before making love.

After almost a week of thinking about her last conversation with Jane Maura decided it was time for her to reveal intimate things as well. After carefully considering it she realized that she would never be able to overcome her issues if she didn't talk about it with Jane. She knew she could trust her and that if there was one person on earth capable of helping her it was Jane.

So that saturday night she called Jane and asked her to come to her house, so they could have dinner and talk.

So after work Jane drove to Maura's mansion, a bit nervous, worried that Maura might break up with her.

"_Come on Jane, there is no reason for you to be nervous, Maura loves you, she's not going to break up with you, just relax, maybe she's just finally ready to open up a bit._" Jane said to herself as she entered Maura's house.

As she heard Jane closing the door behind her Maura's heart starting to beat faster and she couldn't breath. She had spent the entire day preparing a well written speech , but she suddenly forgot every single word of it.

"Hey you." Maura mumbled as she saw Jane entering the living room.

"Hey baby, you're alrightYou look pale." Jane replied leaning over to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I was just wondering if we could talk." Maura shyly said inviting Jane to sit next to her.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" Jane replied seeing how serious Maura was .

"After the conversation we had last week, I stayed mute and kept my distance and I wanted to apologize."

"You don't need to apologize, you needed to process the informations I gave you. I'm thankful you're still here." Jane replied gently squeezing Maura's thigh.

"I'm not going anywhere Jane . I love you and what you used to be doesn't affect that, but you;re I needed time to analyze the informations you gave me. After thinking about it I realized that I needed to be honest with you as well. You opened your life and your heart to me and it's only fair that I do the same."

"You don't have to." Jane replied genuinely touched by Maura's intentions.

She knew that Maura was raised not to express her feelings or desires and that opening to her was an immense proof of love and trust.

"I want to. I realized that I offered myself to you but we actually never talked about sex. I told you that I never had intercourse before and that I was scared of exposing myself naked to you, but we never talked about it more than that, I never gave you any answer." Maura replied feeling a bit less nervous.

Feeling Jane's hand holding hers and her beautiful eyes filled up with love and support, Maura realized she had nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

"I agree, I think we should have talked about it before trying anything. I wanted to bring up the subject but I didn't know if you were ready to talk about it. I didn't want you to think I was craving for sex you know."

"I know, I'm happy you respected my privacy and that you let me bring up the matter myself. I would like to talk about our expectations, desires or fears regarding our first time or our future sex life in general."

"Let's talk about it then, if you feel ready, I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have."

"What I would to know is what excites you , what makes you climax? I mean you have so much experience and you tried so many things, and I'm completely unexperienced, I wouldn't know how to touch you or when or for how long. I have to skills in that department…"

"Maura, listen to me. You love me and you want to be with me. As long as we take our time and trust each other we're going to have a lot of fun." Jane replied pulling Maura against her.

"I'm not even sure I will be able to reciprocate the first time…"

"Then you won't. My priority is to make you feel comfortable and to make sure you are satisfied. If you can't reciprocate the first, second or third time, then I'll wait until you feel 100% comfortable."

"Thank you, that means a lot. I think it's going to take me time to feel entirely comfortable being naked in the same bed and touching you, you know. "

"Is it being naked that scares you or the idea of completely letting yourself go?"

"It's both. You know that I'm not particularly found of my own body and you know that I was raised to keep my feelings and emotions for myself. With your help, I think I have made progress expressing my feelings verbally. Unfortunately I think I still have some issues expressing myself physically."

"I disagree, I think you're the most carrying woman I have ever met, you like to kiss, to cuddle…"

"I know, it makes me feel safe to be in your arms, to rest my head on your chest and here your heart beats, but being naked in a bed with you is different. I think would feel so vulnerable. I think when you're naked in bed with someone making love to that person looking at her in the eyes, you can't lie, hide, or restrain yourself . I think being naked forces you to reveal your true self to your partner."

At that moment Jane finally started to understood why Maura was so shy and nervous about her own sexuality. Not only she didn't feel comfortable in her own body but she was also scared of the emotional outburst making love might cause. Maura had been raised to stay still and stoic in any situation, to never reveal her feelings or emotions, to never cause a scene. She was scared of letting herself go in Jane's arms, because she knew it would cause her to reveal her true feelings and emotions to her.

"I agree, I always thought that the only place nobody could lie was in bed. I think you can learn a lot about someone from the way he or she kissing and makes love to you and it scares me too."

"Really?"

"Yes, I mean what I shared with the women I have been with wasn't intimacy, it was just sex. I never looked at them in the eyes, I never listened to their heart beats. With you it's different, I want to give myself to you completely. I want to connect with you by looking deep into your big brown eyes when I make you come, by feeling your breath on my skin. I want to feel you against me, so close that our two bodies and souls become one you know. It's stupid …"

"No, I think it's incredibly romantic. We're both scared of revealing too much to each other while making love and it's perfectly understandable. We all have secrets, thoughts, fears, feelings we would rather keep for ourselves and we both know that making love we might expose them."

"Yes, I mean I want you to know me inside out that's why I told you everything about my past, but there are some things I would rather keep to myself and I'm afraid that they might come out in the heat of passion. I think until we're ready to completely expose ourselves to each other we shouldn't try to have sex again." Jane concluded.

The more time passes the more Jane loved and desired Maura, but Maura was right, they had such a symbiotic and passionate relationship that making love would probably have emotional consequences that neither of them were ready to face. Jane never faced any emotional consequences by after having sex before, she would just pleasure her partners, have pleasure herself but there was never any emotional outcomes or consequences. She knew that making love to Maura would bring their relationship to a completely different level and she wasn't ready for that. Jane knew Maura well enough to know that giving her virginity to her was an incredible gift, but also a commitment from her . She knew that Maura wouldn't give herself to her if she wasn't 100% that she was the one and that after that she would want to talk about their future. She knew that for Maura, as romantic and committed as she was that making love would almost be like a marriage proposal and she wasn't ready for that.

"I agree, not that I don't want to, you my dear made me…."

"I made you wet, you can say it." Jane bragged happy that the conversation suddenly took a lighter tone.

"Jane! Language and modesty!"Maura objected shocked by Jane's choice of words.

After knowing her for more then 5 months and dating her for 3 Maura never got used to Jane's language. She was doing her best to try to improve her vocabulary and to make her stop talking and swearing like a man, but it was almost a lost cause.

"What?Am I wrong?God I wish you would have stopped me 30 seconds later so I could have checked how wet you were for myself."

"Well if you must know, as you were kissing me and touching me I found myself very excited. I'm sorry it must have been extremely frustrating for you to stop at that stage."

"It was, because not only I was very excited but because I could feel that were too, you were really enjoying what I was doing."

" Yes I was enjoying myself. I have no doubts that when we decide to make love you're going to satisfy me fully. "

"Well I don't want to brag but if you liked the preview, you're going to enjoy the movie."

"What do you have in mind Officer?"

"Oh, no, no, no, I'm not revealing what ever I'm planning to do to you, let's just say that now that I know where some of your sensitives zones are I have a clearer idea of what I'm going to do. " Jane teased happy that Maura was finally opened to talk about it.

"Well I'm glad you feel confident, because I personally have no idea of what I like in bed."

"Well, trust me then, I love you and I'm going to help you found out what you like alright?"

"Okay, I trust you. I know I'm in good hands with you."

"Yes indeed."

"Jane!You are really incorrigible."

"I'm sorry babe. It's your fault, you have that effect on me."

"I can see that, speaking of which there is something else I want to talk about, but I want you to take me seriously."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Well since I can not fulfill your sexual needs and since you're faithful to me, which I'm grateful for, I would like you to feel free to …satisfy yourself as long as it doesn't involve another woman of course."

"Maura Isles, are you authorizing me to masturbate?" Jane asked shocked but touched by Maura's suggestion.

"Yes. I know you have needs just like any human being and I don't want you to be frustrated, so yes I want you to know that I wouldn't feel offended if you decided from time to time to relieve some of that tension ."

"That's sweet Maura, really, you're very sweet, but I don't think that's going to be possible."

"Why?"

"Because from now on I'm planning on spending every single night right here in your arms and considering I spend maximum 10 minutes in the shower I don't see how the opportunity could present itself, but thanks for offering."

"Jane…"

"No really Maura, I mean it. "

"I know and I love you for it, but I insist. I think we could find a compromise."

"Alright, I'm listening."

"Well you and I are both very independent individuals but we seem to spend a lot of time together, not that I don't appreciate it but I think it's unhealthy for us to spend every single minute together."

"You're right, we need to have our own personal time to do things by ourselves so we can actually miss each other."

"Exactly."

"So what are you offering?"

"Well you mentioned you wanted to spend every night with me and I certainly loved the night we spend together. Sleeping in your arms and waking up to your beautiful face was extremely enjoyable, But I think we should spend at least an evening and sleep apart at least once per week."

"Okay.."Jane replied narrowing her eyes trying to picture Maura's plan in action.

"I think we could take this opportunity to do things for ourselves. I could study or watch french documentaries while you can go see your family without me, watch games, go have a drink with your partner, what ever you want to do."

"And masturbate…" Jane joked knowing that Maura was offering her that personal time for that precise purpose.

"If you feel the need to yes."

" Alright then, thank you, most women I know would feel offended that their girlfriend or boyfriends mastrubates."

"I think I would be offended if we were sexually active but we're not. You have needs and I know sexual tension can cause problems to our relationship and I don't want that. I want you to be satisfied."

" How about you Maura?You said I have needs , but every single human being has needs including people who never had sex"

"Well I….it's very personal for you to ask me that Jane." Maura mumbled her face turning red.

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive. "

"No, it's me , I'm being a prude. "

"There is nothing to be ashamed about, as I said we all have urges and self serving is a good way to reveal sexual tension and to discover your body."

"I know, and my mother wasn't shy about sex, she is quite liberal on the matter and it was never a taboo in our house. Actually we never talked about our feelings but it was okay to talk about sex, but I don't feel comfortable talking about sex ."

"I'm not just anybody, I'm your girlfriend Maura, you have nothing to be ashamed of, but I think that we made great progress tonight. I think that you shared more than you were expecting to and I'm grateful for that. We don't need to talk about everything and to solve everything tonight. We have all the time in the world."

"You're right, I revealed more than I expected, but you make me feel so safe and love that I feel confident enough to talk to you, but you're right Rome wasn't built in one day, we have time."

Holding her Jane realized how much Maura loved and trusted her. Not only she was willing to completely give herself to her but she also trusted her enough to help her solve her intimacy issues and discover her sexuality. Jane never saw herself as a teacher or a guide but she knew that it was her responsibility to teach Maura how to relax and enjoy herself in bed, just like Maura taught her to love and believe in happiness again. Jane knew she couldn't screw things up, that it was too important, she really wanted to give Maura everything she needed and wanted. Actually she was really flattered by Maura's trust and somehow it motivated her to do what ever it would take to be the woman Maura deserved.

On the other hand Maura felt a little bit better after talking to Jane. Obviously she was still feeling guilty for not being able to satisfy Jane and she was also worried that she might not be able to pleasure her in the future, due to her lack of experience. Fortunately Maura knew that Jane loved her and that she could trust her to help her feel more comfortable with her body and to step by step teach her to face and explore her own sexuality.

**So guys, what do you think?I think it was only fair that Maura revealed her fear to Jane after Jane told her about her past. I think this chapter wasn't structured very well, there was many things I wanted to talk about. I think keeping the " does Maura masturbate?" Question unanswered was the best thing to do, so I can bring up the matter later..Obviously if Maura gives Jane an evening per week to enjoy herself she's gonna want some details at some point right?**


	14. The new Jane

**Chapter 14:**

**The new Jane :**

A few days after their last conversation Jane and Maura decided to spend their first evening and night apart . Apart from when Jane had to work late or night shifts they literally spent every single evening and night together. So when Maura suggested that they take an evening and a night off every week Jane agreed immediately. Obviously Jane enjoyed being with Maura and missed her when she had to work late shifts, but she saw it as a good opportunity for both of them to spend time by themselves and do things they usually didn't do as a couple.

That night decided to go to the Dirty Robber and watch a game with her colleagues.

As she entered the bar she was immediately welcomed by the barman.

"Officer Jane Rizzoli, I thought you died on the job or something." He joked as Jane sat at the usual chair at the bar.

"Yes, I've been busy." Jane joked.

"That's what I heard, a medical student?Who knew that you would settle down …." He joked serving Jane her usual beer.

"Certainly not me." Jane smile taking a sip at her beer.

So Jane watched the game for a while, alone until her partner arrived with another cop.

"Rizzoli, nice of you to join us." Morales said wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"What can I said? I haven't seen you in 3 hours and I missed you so much…"Jane smirked gently pushing him away.

"So Rizzoli, your partner here told her you found yourself a nice lady…" The other officer said.

"Yes, I did."

"Did she already threw you out? Did she found out you were banging other women in her back?"

"No, we decided to take some time for ourselves tonight and no I'm not banging anyone else." Jane groaned knowing that he would not let this go.

Ever since Jane graduated from the academy she did everything she could to blend it and be accepted by the guys. She went to bars with them, watched games, joked with them, bragged about her sexual encounters just like any of them would. The good thing was that she was now of of the guys, but unfortunately they thought it was okay to make dirty comments on Maura. Most of the time the teasing was okay so Jane let it go but sometimes they crossed the line and Jane had to make sure it never happened again, she had to strongly state that no one was alone to make sexual or disrespectful jokes or remarks on Maura.

"Right, Jane Rizzoli is a one girl kind of woman now."

"Yes I am. I'm perfectly happy with Maura, now please drop it." Jane harshly said looking him straight in the eyes showing him how serious she was.

"Well good for you, she must be a great fuck for you to stay with faithful to her. Actually I'm sure she is, those boobs and that ass…God if I could lay my hands on her…"

"Enough." Jane hollered as she suddenly bounced off her chair grabbing him by his shirt.

"Jane please calm down, he was only joking." Morales said trying to keep Jane from punching him.

"No I wasn't joking, your girlfriend his a fine piece of as."

At that precise moment Jane just saw red and punched him with her right fists making him fly across the room.

"Fuck Rizzoli, what's wrong with you?Since when did you become such a prude?"He said his hand on his bloody nose.

"Since you're insulting the woman I love. You're never going to disrespect Maura like that you hear me?"

"Yes." He groaned standing up wiping the blood of his hand .

"Good." Jane replied going back at her seat.

"I'll see ya later Jane. I'm gonna take him home." Morales said as he escorted the trouble maker out.

"Yeah see ya."

For the next 45 minutes Jane sat at the bar enjoying her second beer, when a woman suddenly approached her.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Nope." Jane replied without even looking at the woman.

"Thank you, so how is your hand?"

"You saw that?" Jane asked embarrassed as she turned around to face the woman.

"It was hard to miss. I'm Karen, nice to meet you."

"I'm Jane." Jane replied shaking her hand.

As she was shaking her hand Jane found herself looking straight at the woman's eyes. She had the most beautiful blue eyes she had even seen in her life. She was tall, with long curly brown hair, was apparently extremely fit and had a pair of boobs that would turn the pope on. She was Jane's type.

"May I buy you a drink Jane?"Karen asked seeing that she caught Jane's attention.

"I'm fine thanks." Jane politely declined taking a sip at her beer.

"How about a burger you must be starving after such an intense fight?"

"Thanks, I'm flattered but I'm actually with someone." Jane replied.

"Where is she? I have been sitting here for over an hour and I didn't see you with any one."

"She's at home. Look, again I'm flattered but I'm with someone and I'm not looking to do anything that would hurt her." Jane replied .

"Well, I heard a lot of things about you, your reputation must be inaccurate." Karen replied confused.

"No, my reputation is more than accurate, I used to be quite a player but now I found someone great and I'm not playing anymore, speaking of which I'd like to watch the game if you don't mind."

"Yes, sure, if you change your mind give me a call. Bad habits die hard, trust me." Karen said leaving her number on a piece of paper before sliding it in Jane's pocket.

Watching the woman walking away Jane realized it was the first time she rejected an attractive woman in her entire life. Not only she didn't want to accept her proposition but she wasn't even tempted, this woman was her type and she didn't even found her attractive or anything.

"Damn Rizzoli I think that's the first time I see you reject a woman that hot." The bar tender joked.

"Yes, it is. I guess I really changed." Jane said.

Later that night Jane went back to her tiny apartment and as she was lying in bed started to think about what happened. Jane always knew she loved Maura and that she didn't want to cheat on her, but because of her past and her sexual cravings she was scared she might hurt her at some point.

The thing was that before tonight she never had the opportunity to cheat on her. She spent all her evenings either at work or at Maura's and went straight home after that.

Tonight a gorgeous woman came on to her and a few months ago she would have taken her home and screwed her like crazy, but she didn't, she didn't even checked her boobs or her ass. Jane Rizzoli was a new woman she she actually liked the transformation.

She knew that Maura probably spent the night worrying about the way she spent her evening so she decided to call her, to reassure her knowing that she would sleep better hearing her voice before going to bed.

At the other of town Maura was on bed with a book, and her cell phone on her lap hoping that Jane would call her. Obviously she didn't want Jane to think she didn't trust her so she didn't call first. The whole point of their nights apart was to give them some space and freedom and showing that they trusted each other. Even if she trust her Maura was worried, she knew that if she went to a bar Jane was probably approached by several women and even if she knew she loved her she worried not about Jane cheating on her but on her being tempted.

As she was about to go to sleep her phone finally rang.

"Jane…" Maura let out a she picked up the phone after the first ring.

"Hey baby, how s your evening going?" Jane said smiling as she her Maura's enthusiastic voice.

"It's going very well, I watched a very interesting and revealing documentary on french Queen Marie- Antoinette, it was quite fascinating." Maura replied twisting her hair with her fingers, feeling like a teenager talking to her girlfriend.

"Gee, I'm happy I wasn't here to see that, you were right being apart one night a week was a great idea."

"So I suppose you enjoyed yourself?"

"I did, I went to the Dirty Robber to watch the game, I just came home actually."

"Oh I see, did you meet anyone?" Maura asked knowing that the Dirty Robber was Jane's favorite place to pick up girls.

"Yeah, Morales was there but he didn't stay."

"So you spent the night alone watching the game?"

"Yes I did. Well there was this girl who offered to buy me a drink but other then that yeah." Jane teased knowing exactly where Maura was going.

"Well that's good, the whole point of those nights is to meet new people." Maura mumbled feeling her heart broke into piece at the simple thought of another woman buying a drink to Jane.

Hearing Maura's pain Jane couldn't tease her more.

"But I declined."

"Really?"

"Of course, I told her that I was with someone and that I wasn't willing to do something stupid."

"Oh Jane you scared me, please do not do that ever again!" Maura said rising her voice.

"I'm sorry baby, I love you and I have no intention of having a drinking with any other women."

"Well having a drink isn't cheating…"

"It shows your desire to cheat, trust me a drink is never innocent. I'm sorry I scared you, I had a good time tonight but I miss you, I'm in my bed alone and I wished you were next to me." Jane said.

"I wish you were it as well, I'm also in bed wearing a pink silk boxer with the matching tank top." Maura teased.

"How come you're always wearing long shirts and large pajamas when I sleep over?" Jane asked rising her eyebrows.

"That my love is because I'm trying to spare you…"

"Spare me of what?"

"Of being frustrated. I think showing my attributes to you but not allowing you to touch would be cruel."

"And telling me about how sexy you are dressed right letting me imagine it without being able to see now isn't?"

"Check your emails I just sent you a little something." Maura instructed biting her lip realizing afterwards how bold it was of her.

"Alright give me a minute." Jane said as she leaned over to grab her laptop.

As Jane was checking her email Maura's heart started to beat faster, so fast that she thought is was going to burst out off her chest. Jane was right, she always wore unattractive pajamas when Jane slept over because she didn't want to tempt her and then frustrate her.

"Holly crap!"Jane let out as the picture Maura sent her appeared on her screen.

Maura had sent her a picture of her wearing that sexy pink slim boxer with the matching tank top. She was lying on her side smiling at her webcam. It wasn't a dirty picture, but she was certainly very sexy on it. Jane could see Maura's generous breasts popping out of the tank top, remembering that not long ago she was able to touch and taste them.

"You like it?" Maura shyly asked.

"You bet I do, you're beautiful baby, but you didn't have to do that…" Jane replied a little bit embarrassed.

She knew that Maura felt guilty about pushing her away when they tried to made love and that this was a desperate attempt to give her something for her to wait until she's ready.

"I know, but I wanted to, you've been so patient with me and I know that it was hard for you to stop last time. Consider this as a preview and a thank you for being so respectful. I trust you won't share it."

"Of course not baby, I'm tempted to set it as my new desktop picture, but I never know who can see it ." Jane joked.

"Exactly, your brothers for instance. I just wanted you to have it , you know in case you feel the need to pleasure yourself. I don't want you to do it thinking about an other woman."

"Oh baby, you're sweet, but I'm not going to touch myself looking at a picture of you."

"Why?Don't you find me attractive?"

" Of course I found you extremely attractive, it's just…."

"That you need more, I should have known it, you need more to feel aroused."

"What I need is for you to stop. I'm not going to touch myself thinking about you, not now not ever. I think it would the most disrespectful thing I could ever do. The only way I want you to pleasure me is when we make love not in a stupid fantasy alright?"

"I know, I just don't want to do it thinking about another woman."

"I know and I'm thankful for what you're trying to do, but even if I feel a little horny right now I won't touch myself. I want to have my next orgasm and all the other ones after that with you, not alone thinking about you or thinking about another woman. I love you ."

"I love you too. I think we should go to sleep. " Maura replied.

"I agree, good night, I will see you tomorrow for breakfast, I start at 10. I love you."

"I love you too . Goodnight." Maura replied before hanging up the phone.

Lying in bed Maura couldn't stop feeling guilty about not being able to give Jane what she wanted and needed. She knew that Jane appreciated the picture she sent her, but that it was not enough. She even felt more guilty because Jane loved and respected so much that she refused to touch herself to satisfy her obvious needs. Jane was giving her everything she needed and everything she ever wanted in a relationship and she couldn't do the same.

An hour later after blaming herself for being the worse girlfriend in the history of the world Maura was about to fell asleep when she felt someone breathing down her neck.

"Jane!" Maura let out as she turned around to see Jane next to her.

"Hey baby. I missed you." Jane replied kissing her as she slid under the covers.

"Why are you here?" Maura replied unable to hide her voice.

"I couldn't spend a night away from you. I can spend an evening away from you, but not the night." Jane replied marveling at her beautiful girlfriend who was looking at her with such love that she didn't regret driving all the way to her house.

"Oh Jane, I feel the same, I think I can't spend a single night away from your embrace." Maura replied nestled into her side, head on Jane's chest.

"I promise you'll have to ever again." Jane whispered kissing her forehead.

As they were falling asleep Jane started to think about her relationship with Maura. They've only being dating for a little over 3 months and they already couldn't spend a night apart. Obviously Jane was very independent and that was one of the reason she stayed single for that long but for the first time in her life she wanted to be with someone full time. She didn't spend time with Maura because she had to, but because she wanted to. She didn't felt overwhelmed or trapped in this relationship , actually she never felt so free and so alive.

Maura on the other hand fall asleep realizing a bit more how lucky she was to have Jane. She felt that the less she was giving her, the more Jane was giving her in return. She knew Jane felt a part of responsibility in the fact that they still haven't slept together yet.

She knew Jane probably thought she wasn't showing her how much she loved her enough, that's why the less Maura could give, the more she gave. Maura knew that Jane wouldn't wait for ever, that she had to give her something and she knew that allowing her to spend the night with her was certainly the kind of love and reassurance Jane needed.

**So guys, what do you think?Next chapter is gonna be romantic...Be aware...**

**As always reviews are appreciated! You guys rock**


	15. The money talk

**Chapter 15 :**

**The money talk :**

The week after their anniversary was a very important week for Maura : She was starting her last rotation at the hospital before graduating from medical school.

Ever since Jane and her tried to make love and talked about Jane's past things were going great. Jane would share Maura's bed every night, but she remained a gentleman and never touched her her in an inappropriate way. She knew that they had made tremendous progress but that Maura was still not ready to make love, and it was okay, because she wasn't either.

The two women knew that the next 3 months were going to be a real challenge, that Maura was probably going to spend up to 12 hours per day at the hospital, so they tried to take advantage of every single minute they could spend together.

Today was the last day of freedom Jane and Maura get to spend together and they had decided to spend it in bed.

"I can't believe you're going to be a Doctor in less than 6 months."

"Well, technically I won't be able to call myself a Medical Doctor until I get my license and you know after that I still have to do my residency in anatomic and clinical pathology and my fellowship in forensic pathology and get board certified."

"That's another 5 years right?"

"Yes, approximatively, the very good news is that I'm getting paid during my residency."

"Like you need the money…"

"You're right I don't, but financial compensation is very important even for people like myself who don't need it. It gives you a satisfaction for a job well performed and gives a purpose, don't you think?"

"Oh yes, I do think that money is a great motivation. So how much does BU pay their resident these days?"

"Around 52 000 a year I believe and slightly more during my fellowship."

"What?That's more then I make before overtime."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay, I mean you studied 8 years and worked 90 hours a week rotations, you deserve it, just so I know, how much a forensic pathologist makes?"

"Slightly more then a Detective…I'm sorry baby, I know how you feel about money."

"It's alright, it's not the same as you being a rich heiress, you studied hard for year, you deserve every cent, do you have any idea where you would like to do your fellowship?"

"You know my dream is to work at the medical examiner office at Boston's homicide so I'm hoping to do my fellowship there, but it's hard to get in."

"You're a genius Maura, you went to one of the best school of the country, I'm sure you'll get in , if we're lucky, I'll be Detective and we could work together."

"Well, I think it's a bit premature to talk about it, it won't happen for another 4 years."

"You're scare we won't be together in 4 years?"

"Of course not, I'm just saying I would rather focus on my residency before thinking of my fellowship."

"I understand and you have my full support."

"So you won't have any issue living with someone who makes twice your salary?"

"I don't know, I guess I have my pride, but as I said you worked hard for your career and I'm proud of you. As long as you let me take care of you I should be fine."

"Take care of me?"

"You know pay the rent, the bills and stuff…"

"Jane…"

"No Maura this isn't up for discussion, I know you're rich and now I know you're probably gonna make 3 times what I make but you're my girl I want to take care of you, so please let me."

"Alright…"

Maura wasn't willing to argue with Jane regarding the money situation. She knew Jane was blue collar and wasn't comfortable with her being born rich. Even if she knew Jane probably had to work serious overtime to pay for their nights out Maura always loved how Jane was taking care of her, taking her to nice places, always insisting to pay. She treated her like a princess and she loved it. Maura obviously loved being taking care of like this, but she was hoping that with time Jane would let her share their living expenses but for now she knew Jane had her pride and that there was no possibility for her to negotiate on that matter.

Talking about money and their future careers with Maura Jane realized how serious their relationship was getting. Jane never saw herself as a one girl kind of woman but now that she was dating her dreams and hopes had dramatically changed. Before she met Maura all she dreamed about and worked for was be a homicide Detective. Now all she wanted to focus on was her future with Maura . Actually she was hoping that Maura would agree to move in with her after her graduation. She hadn't talked to her about it yet, because she knew Maura would want to do it before graduation, but she couldn't afford it yet. After considering it Jane realized that between a deposit, several months of rent and advance and new furniture , she would probably have to work serious overtime for at least 6 months before being able to afford to move in with her. She knew that Maura was used to live in a certain comfort and she was determined to maintain that level of comfort and was willing to work her ass off to give her princess everything she wanted.

2 Months later Maura had just finished her eighth week of pediatric rotation at the hospital and Jane was still a devoted police officer. As they predicted the couple barely had time to see each other. Maura was at the hospital at least 70 hours per week and Jane was pulling as many double shifts as she could to pay for their future apartment.

In order to spend as much time as possible together Jane spent all her nights at Maura's house. Ever since the first time they tried, Jane never insisted to try to make love again. She knew that once Maura was ready she would opening tell her and from Maura's still shy behavior she knew it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Fortunately for Maura Jane loved her deeply and wasn't in any rush,she desired her and wanted to make love to her every time when she crawled in bed next to her, but respectfully behaved herself.

That day Jane came home around 11 pm, exhausted after a particularly difficult week. As she entered Maura's mansion she rapidly took off her shoes and painfully made her way up to Maura's bedroom. She could barely walk and every single muscles in her body was hurting, not to mention her back was killing her, but it was worth it.

She quietly entered Maura's room expecting to found her asleep when :

"Geez you scared me." Jane let out as she saw Maura sitting at her desk.

"Well I wouldn't have to scare you if you were here at reasonable hours." Maura harshly replied as she turned off her desk lamp and moved towards her bed.

"I'm sorry babe. "

"It's past 11, You promised to be home early so we can spend the evening together, you know how rare it is for me to have a night off during my rotation."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I'm a cop, I'm technically on call 24/7. I'll make it up to you I promise. " Jane replied as she started to undress.

"No, if you want to make it up to me, try to be home at reasonable hours. I thought we talked about this, you promised to cut your hours when we started dated."

"I know, it's just…"

"What?You're so bored with me that you'd rather be at work?"

"Of course not. Look Maura I don't want to argue, not tonight. I can't feel my feet, my back is killing me, can we please postpone this until tomorrow?" Jane said as she slid under Maura's warm blanket.

"No, we're not postponing this conversation. I demand an explanation. Is this because we still haven't sleep together that you feel happier at work?"

"This is ridiculous, it's not because we're not having sex or because I'm bored with you. I'm never happier than when I'm with you. We talked about this, you know I don't mind waiting."

"What is it then?You were working reasonable shift until our third month anniversary, but even since that day when we didn't make love you started to work double shifts almost every day, so forgive me for drawing conclusions."

Maura was right, Jane started to work double shift right after that anniversary, but not because she didn't want to go home to her. Unfortunately Maura didn't know Jane true intentions because she made sure to keep it a surprise.

Jane knew Maura was lacking self confidence felt she wasn't making Jane happy because she couldn't satisfy her sexually, so she needed to tell her the truth.

"I was thinking about asking you to move in with me after your graduation. I have been working double shift to save up for that."

"You've been killing yourself for the past two months to pay for own place?"

"Yes, I know you're have high standard, so between that and a deposit, new furniture, I knew it was going to cost me a leg to make that possible. I figured that you because of your rotation you'd be spending your days and nights at the hospital so that it wouldn't be a problem."

"Oh baby, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise I know how enthusiastic you are and I knew that if I asked you to move in with me you would probably find a place in a few days."

"And you needed to come up with the money first..."

"Yes."

"Oh darling, you don't have to kill yourself at work, you know money isn't an issue. If you want us to move in together, we can move in tomorrow."

"I know you have money and that's exactly why I didn't tell you about my plan. I want to do this for us, I want to do it on my own, I want to take care of you."

"Jane, you know I love you and how love that you treat me like a princess, paying for everything when we go out, but I will not let you kill yourself at work just so you can be the guy in our relationship and take the financial burden that having our own place on your bare shoulders."

"I'm fine, I promise."

"No, you're not, you said it yourself, you can't feel your feet and I can see from the way you walk that your spine is obviously troubling you. We're in a relationship Jane, it means we share everything, the good and the bad. I know you want to take care of me and I'm not saying that you can't but please let me help you ."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Equality, we pay 50 % each on the cost of moving in together and 50 % of the rent and bills afterwards."

"I won't get away with that right?"

"No you won't . I really, truly appreciate your sense of devotion and your desire to take care of me, but not if it cost your your physical or mental health. Besides it we put our money together we could move in right after my rotation."

"In a month?"

"Yes. I'm going to have more free time after that."

"Are ready to move in with me?"

"I think I am. Actually we practically already live together, you spent the little free time you have here with me and we sleep together every single night. "

"I know we're almost an old couple already, but my question was : are you sure you're ready?It's a big step."

"You sound like you're not ready…"

"Babe, I have been working my ass off for the past two months to make it happen, I'm ready. I just thought you would at least want to have your parents approval before taking that step. I know their opinion is very important for you."

"It is, my mother knows that I'm seeing someone, but she didn't ask for any details and my dad doesn't know. I'm still his little girl you know…"

"You're 24 Maura! You're allowed to date right?"

"Of course, actually my mother always tried to encourage me to enlarge my circle of friends, but my dad thinks no one is good enough for me."

"So you're dad is the one I'm going to have to seduce, alright, not used to seduce guys, but hey, you're worth the trouble."

"Should I conclude that you want to meet my parents?"

"Of course. I have always been curious to meet them, but I know you're not close to them and that it's painful for you to talk about it. But if we move in together, I think it's appropriate that I meet you parents. I want to do this right."

"I appreciate the chivalry Jane, and yes it is appropriate and expected that you formally meet my parents before we move in together. I think we could manage to visit them in New- York right after my rotation. It leaves you a month to prepare yourself."

"What do you mean prepare yourself?You make it sound like I'm going to meet the president."

"Don't laugh, my father isn't the kind of man that you can make fun of. He's very traditional and convincing him you're good enough to take care of his only daughter isn't going to be that easy, trust me."

"Baby, I know what kind of man you father is. He's a …dad, he wants what's best for you and wants to make sure you're safe with me and that's taken care of. Don't worry, I got this."

"Alright, just be aware that my dad is very very protective over me and that he won't make things easy for you."

"I know, I'm a cop remember?I deal with dangerous people for a living, I'm not scared of your dad. "

"Alright, let's hope he's going to see how much you love me and how happy you make me."

"Well he trusts you right?I'm sure he knows how smart you are and that you would never get involved with someone who's not worthy of your love and trust."

"I know, my parents raised me to be wise, and not to rush things, to take my time to analyze before making an important decision."

"Exactly they raised you well. You don't think they might think I'm with you for your money right?"

"No, they know I'm smart and that I would never get involved with someone who's solely interested in my trust found."

"Well you know what they say…love is blind."

"Yes, but after I tell my father how hard you worked to pay for our first place and that you never let me pay for anything he will never doubt your sincerity trust me."

"Alright, can we talk about this later, I'm exhausted."

"Sure."

**I what you guys think : this was an unnecessary chapter, well for me it was. I wanted to introduce Maura's residency and also the money issue. We all know how Jane is with money and I figured it was important to bring up the subject. Plus I wanted to introduce the fact that Jane was planning on asking Maura to move in with her after her med school graduation….**

**PS: I'm sorry if I'm not accurate regarding Maura's residency, regarding money or anything else.**

**next chapter is gonna surprise you, trust me you're gonna love it...**


	16. Meeting Maura's parents

**Chapter 16 : **

**Meeting Maura's parents.**

A month later Maura had finished her last rotation and had now more time to spend with Jane to look for a new apartment. Jane had decided to go back working reasonable hours and Maura was delighted to be able to spend her evenings with her again. Unfortunately for Maura Jane insisted that she met her parents before they could move in together. Jane was very traditional and wanted her parents to know her before they could consider renting an apartment together. She knew Maura parents were very traditional as well and that they would probably worried about their only daughter moving in with a complete stranger. Jane was determined to make a good impression and to let them know she was sincerely in love with Maura and wasn't interested in her money. Maura and Jane had initially planed to fly to New-York to meet them but Maura learned that they were planing on coming to Boston for some charity event.

Jane was a little anxious about meeting her parents, especially her dad. The way Maura described him he was very protective over his daughter and as any good dad he wouldn't be easy to seduce. Jane was aware that if her parents might not have a problem with Maura dating a woman they might disapprove of her dating someone who wasn't raised with money. Jane thought they probably expected her to marry some wealthy wall street guy who could offer her the best things in life. Jane was an optimistic and was hoping that her parents would see how happy Maura was with her regardless of her money. She was hoping that they would overlook her financial situation and manners to see how much she loved and respected their daughter and how devoted she was. Jane Rizzoli wasn't the kind of woman who liked to make comprise or to make any efforts to make someone like her, but this was different. She knew Maura needed her parents' blessing and she couldn't imagined what would happened if they refused to give it to her. She knew Maura would probably refuse to break up with her if her parents asked her to but she knew it would create a void between them and knowing that they didn't share the warmest relationship she knew Maura would be devastated. So Jane decided to do everything she had to to please her parents.

So that night Maura made reservations in her father's favorite restaurant, bought a new dress along with designer shoes and invited Jane to finally meet her parents.

As they were sitting at their table waiting for them Jane could see how nervous she was.

"Would you relax?Everything is going to be alright, I promise. I'm going to behave myself and your parents are going to see how much I love you alright?" Jane said cupping Maura's face with her hand.

"I know, I love you too." Maura replied leaning over to kiss her.

As they were kissing in the middle of the restaurant Maura suddenly heard her mother's voice.

"Maura darling." Constance Isles enthusiastically said as she saw her daughter before realizing what she was doing.

"Mother, dad." Maura mumbled as she suddenly stood up.

"Maura, you look beautiful." Her father said opening his arms.

"Thank you. Mother, dad, I would like you to meet Jane, my…girlfriend." Maura nervously said waiting for her parents' reaction.

"Mrs Isles, Sir it's very nice to finally meet you." Jane politely said shaking Maura's parents hand.

"It's very nice to meet you too. "Maura's mom said as she sat down at the table.

As they were sitting down, reading the expensive menu Jane and Maura couldn't help but thinking that Maura's dad was awfully quiet.

"Yes darling you heard right, Jane is Maura's girlfriend, our daughter is a lesbian, get over it and stop staring at her like that." Maura's mom said .

"Now I know where you got your character from." Jane joked.

"I'm sorry, I was just making sure that I didn't misunderstood you but observing the two of you interact . Forgive me for asking this darling but how long have you been a lesbian?" Maura's dad asked.

"I have always been a lesbian dad, I have never been attracted to men. I always knew that I was attracted to women and I had a fling with a fellow student last year but it wasn't anything serious. It wasn't until I met Jane that I fell in love for the first time, comforting me in my certitude that I was indeed a lesbian." Maura explained crossing her fingers, hoping that her dad wouldn't reject her and would be tolerant.

"Well Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same sex union right?We don't live in the 50's anymore, as long as you're happy, I'm happy." Maura's dad said his hand covering his daughter's.

"So Jane, tell us a little bit about yourself." Maura's mom asked trying to break the ice.

"Well, I'm a police Officer, I graduating top of my class 3 years ago, and I'm planning on working at the Homicide unit as a Detective in the next few years."

"Young and ambitious, I like that. How did you meet my daughter?"

"We met in psychology class. Maura was attending as part of her medical training and I was there to improve my knowledge of the human mind in order to be more efficient at my job."

At first Jane and Maura's mom kept the conversation pretty basic, Maura's mom asked her about her family, her career but something was obviously bothering Jane.

"Is there something wrong Jane?" Maura asked seeing that Jane wasn't completely focused.

"Would you excuse me for just one minute?" Jane politely asked before leaving the table.

"Certainly." Maura's dad replied standing up as a perfect gentleman, thinking she needed to use the ladies room.

To his big surprise Jane didn't walked towards the ladies room but towards a table a few feet for theirs.

Knowing how protective Jane was Maura figured that she must have spotted some guy looking at her inappropriately and started to worry.

"Gentlemen." Jane quietly said as she approached the table.

"Lady." One of the men arrogantly replied.

"Actually it's officer for you." Jane said opening her jacket revealing her badge.

"Is there a problem officer?"

"Yes, I have a problem. I have a problem with you looking at my girlfriend like she is a piece of fresh meat. Please show some respect or I might have to teach you what respect means." Jane said as quietly as possible knowing that Maura would never forgive her for causing a scene in her parents' presence and in such an upscale place.

"Alright Officer, we're sorry. It won't happen again, please enjoy your meal." One of the man said seeing how determined and pissed Jane was and not willing to fight a police officer.

"Thank you gentlemen." Jane replied smiling as she walked back to her table.

"Is there something wrong Jane?" Maura's mom asked.

"No, Ma'am those men were simply looking at your daughter very inappropriately and I just wanted to make sure they knew the definition of the word respect. " Jane explained as she took a sip at her glass.

"You certainly found yourself a perfect gentleman ." Constance Isles said winking at her daughter.

"I certainly have, Jane is the most respectful and honest person I have ever meet ." Maura proudly replied as she squeezed Jane's hand.

"So Jane, if you're such a honest person you won't mind answering some questions?" Maura's dad finally spoke.

"Dad, I didn't bring Jane here for you to interrogate her." Maura objected.

"It's alright sweetheart, he's just doing his job. I don't mind answering any of your questions Sir. I have nothing to hide." Jane replied looking at Maura's dad straight in the eyes showing him no fear.

"Alright , I appreciate it. So Jane tell me, have you slept with my daughter yet?" He stoically asked.

"Dad!" Maura squealed.

"It's alright Maura. Well if by sleeping you mean have I shared a bed with your daughter?The answer is yes. We both work very long hours and we try to spend as much time together as possible that includes nights when I'm not on call. If your question was have I had sex with your daughter, I'm sorry but I do not wish to discuss that matter with you. No offense Sir but our intimate life is between Maura and me, but know that I never pressured your daughter or tried to push her to do anything. I might seem like I'm the man in our relationship but she sets the tone not me." Jane very eloquently replied.

"Alright, I appreciate the chivalry and respect you're demonstrating young lady." Mr Isles replied impressed that Jane didn't even flinch and remained eloquent and calm.

"Dad please, I know you're only trying to make sure that I'm safe and I am. Jane, if you don't mind I would like to answer his question."

"If you want to babe, I don't have anything to hide."

"Well dad, you should know that Jane and I have been together for 6 months now and that she has been nothing but a gentleman. Even if we share my bed she never once touched me in an appropriate way. She knows I'm not ready to take that step yet and she respects and supports my choice, no matter how hard it is for her. Jane is the kind of woman who always puts my desires and needs before hers. I'm safe with her dad."

"We can see that darling." Maura's mom said witnessing how much love and support Jane was giving her daughter .

"I love your daughter, I really do and we're really taking our time. As Maura said yes it is hard for me to share her bed without touching her, but she's not ready and I have to respect that. I don't care how long it's going to take, I will wait. I'm perfectly happy the way things are."

"My husband and I appreciate the respect you're showing Jane. Young people jump so fast in bed these day, they don't know how exciting it is to get to know someone and how much more satisfying it is to engage in sexual intercourse with someone you actually know ."

"I agree, I think the more Maura and I wait the better we'll know and love each other and the more wonderful our first time will be but as I said I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you."

"I apologize. So Maura mentioned you spend all your nights at our house, have you moved in or do you have your own place?"

"I do have my own place, but we spend all our time at your place Ma'am. It's more convenient for us and your place is certainly bigger then mine and I want Maura to feel comfortable when she's with me. "

"Well our house is really …comfortable. I'm happy someone is there to take care of Maura, we may have a security guard but a young woman alone in that big house filled with expensive things can easily become an easy target… To be honest with you I feel better knowing you're there to protect her."

"I would give my life for you daughter ma'am, you can be sure of that."

Seeing that her parents were starting to like Jane and see how sincere she was Maura decided it was time to make the announcement.

"Actually Jane and I have something to announce you." Maura said squeezing Jane's hand looking at her expecting some support.

"Yes. About a month ago I asked Maura to move in with me. I had initially planned to ask her to move in with me after her graduation but we decided to move into our own place after I meet you."

"What made you change your mind about the date If I may ask?"Maura's mom's asked.

"Well actually mother, while I was doing my rotation I noticed that Jane was working double shifts and was actually neglecting me. I confronted her and she confessed that she had been saving up because she wanted to ask me to move in with her but she didn't want me to have to spend a dime."

"Is that right?" Maura's dad asked.

"Yes Sir, I started to work double shifts and serious overtime after our third month anniversary when I introduced Maura to my mom. I realized that night that your daughter was the one and that I wanted to live with her. Obviously I didn't have the kind of money it takes to rent and furnish a new place, so I decided to save up until her graduation and surprise her. Unfortunately I started neglecting her a bit and I had to confess my plans."

"Jane was literally killing herself working overtime so I ask her to stop immediately and insisted to pay my half of the costs that having our own place would bring and after hard negotiations she accepted. Jane isn't with me for my money dad, she actually never lets me pay for anything."

"Is that right Jane?" Mr Isles asked starting to have a better understanding of who Jane was.

"Yes Sir, I might be old school but I don't want Maura to have to pay when we go out. Maybe it's my italian blood kicking in but I like to take care of your daughter. I know you are very wealthy and that Maura is used to have the best things in life. I know I don't have same kind of money as her, but I'm willing to work really hard to make sure your daughter lives in the same kind of comfort she's used to. Unfortunately Maura wouldn't let me take care of everything and as she said a relationship is about sharing everything and compromising so I agreed to share the bills."

"My daughter is right, we're not in the 50's anymore darling. I know you have your pride but there is no need for you to kill yourself at work to provide our daughter with the kind of comfort she's accustomed to when she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself."

"I know Ma'am, again maybe it's my italian blood, I don't know. I must say that at first I had issues with Maura being rich, but I soon discovered that she wasn't the type of woman to flash her money at people's face. She might have expensive tastes but she's simple, that's why I love her so much. "

"So you don' t have any issue being with a woman who is going to make more money then you during her residency and probably 3 times your salary once she founds a position as a Medical Examiner?"

"I do not have any issues with that Sir. You daughter worked very very hard to be accepted in this residency program and to become an ME. I'm very proud to be with someone so smart and determined."

"Alright now that we've established that Jane isn't with our daughter for sex or for her money can we please move on to lunch?" Maura Isles suddenly said .

"Yes mother we would like that thank you."

The rest of lunch went much more smoothly, Maura's dad seemed to have understood how much she loved her and how devoted she was. Obviously it would take more then that for him to trust Jane with his daughter's well being but things were going towards that direction.

Maura's mom on the other hand was completely seduced by Jane, she loved how eloquent she was and that she wasn't showing any fear when being interrogated by her husband. She appreciated everything Jane was trying to do to take care of her daughter, including working double shifts to make sure they could afford a nice place without using Maura's money. Constance saw Jane a complete gentleman even if she was a woman.

**So guys, what do you think?Did Jane behave herself or what?Next chapter is the one you've been waiting for...unless I decide to change the plot line again!**


	17. Parce que c'est toi

**Chapter 16 :**

**Parce que c'est toi :**

The sunday after Jane met Maura's parents was a very important day, it was Maura and Jane's 6 months anniversary. Jane spent 2 weeks trying to find something great to surprise her with. She knew that topping their 3 months anniversary would be hard. After 2 weeks of intense brain torture Jane finally found not only the perfect gift but also the perfect evening idea.

Jane knew that considering how their last anniversary ended that Maura would be nervous so she decided to do everything possible to make her comfortable.

At first Jane wanted to bring Maura to a fancy restaurant but Maura requested that they stayed home and that Jane cooked for her.

So Jane spent the entire day cooking her mother's famous lasagnas, the one Maura enjoyed so much the day she met Angela.

Even if Maura had finished her very last rotation at the hospital she wasn't a free woman. She had decided to volunteer in a free clinic until her graduation.

Even if the hours were as bad as during her pediatric rotation she was working hard. Jane tried to convince her to stay home and relax until her graduation but Maura was of a very generous nature and decided to use her skills with the less fortunate.

Around 8 O' clock Maura finally came home from the clinic.

"Hey sweetie, how was your day?" Jane asked as Maura entered the kitchen.

"I'm exhausted, do you mind if I take a quick shower before we have dinner?" Maura asked as she took off her shoes.

"Sure, take your time. Join me in the living room when you're done." Jane replied.

As Maura was painfully walking towards the bathroom Jane realized that she might have forgotten their anniversary.

"_God, she works so hard that she forgot what tonight was. Perfect, the surprise will be total then_."

Half an hour later Maura finally arrived in the living room but didn't noticed anything at first.

"Thank you for your patience, it's late you must be starving." Maura said walking towards Jane.

"I am. I missed you." Jane replied wrapping her arms around her kissing her forehead.

"I missed you too. Wait a minute, what's all this?"

"All what?"

"The candles, the home made lasagnas on the table, the fire ?" Maura asked roaming her eyes around her.

"You forgot, ouch that hurts." Jane joked.

"Oh, my god, it's our 6 months anniversary. I'm so sorry I work so hard that I must have lost track of time." Maura apologized her heart melting as she realized how much efforts Jane had put into this.

"It's okay, the surprise is bigger then. How about we sit and enjoy dinner? I tried to follow my mother's recipe but I'm not promising anything." Jane smirked as she invited Maura to sit by the fireplace.

"I'm sure they're delicious, you're so sweet, and so romantic." Maura replied as she sat in front of the living room table on a large cousin Jane had laid.

"I'm not really into anniversaries and birthdays but I figured 6 months is important."

"It is."

The two women spent a night dinner, eating the home made lasagnas Jane had spent the entire day preparing, drinking excellent wine. Everything from the way Jane had decorated the room to the fire was made to create a romantic atmosphere.

After eating Maura felt better and full of energy and started telling her everything about her rotation, the kids she helped and how different children were to diagnose. Jane sat there listening at Maura talking about her job with such passion thinking that was exactly how she wanted to spend the rest of her evenings.

After dinner Jane decided it was time for Maura to receive her gift.

"So, I think it's time for you to open your gift." Jane said as she pulled a large bag from behind the table.

"Yours is in my bedroom." Maura replied as she was about she stand up.

"I can wait, I'd like you open yours first." Jane insisted handing the bag to her.

"Alright." Maura nodded.

As she was unwrapping her gift Jane's heart was beating so fast, it wasn't a fancy gift, but something symbolic that she knew Maura would love.

"Oh Jane!Where did you find this?It must be a collector item!" Maura replied as she inspected the vinyl Jane had bought her.

"I found it on e-bay. I know it's your favorite song, and I knew you didn't have the vinyl version."

"You notice everything don't you?" Maura replied leaning over to kiss her .

"When it comes to you, yes. I looked up the lyrics online and it's a beautiful song no wonder you listen to it everyday."

"It is, french is really the best language for love songs, would you mind putting it on?"

"Sure…" Jane said as she stood up to reach the turn table.

As the music started Maura started to feel romantic. The lyrics of that song described precisely how she felt about Jane.

As Jane sat behind Maura right next to the fire wrapping her arms around her, the emotion they both felt was obvious.

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you Maura. I loved you the first time I lied my eyes on you and I know I'm going to love you for ever." Jane whispered as she was holding Maura tight rocking her from side to side .

"I love you too Jane, I always loved you and always will. " Maura replied.

As they were listening to the french song, the two women remained silence, focusing on the music and the words that reflected exactly how they felt for each other.

**_Parce que c'est toi :_**

_Si tu crois un jour qu'je t'laisserai tomber_

_Pour un détail pour une futilité_

_N'aie pas peur je saurais bien_

_Faire la différence_

_Si tu crains un jour qu'je t'laisserai fâner_

_La fin de l'été, un mauvais cap à passer_

_N'aie pas peur personne d'autre n'pourrait_

_Si facilement te remplacer_

_Oh non pas toi_

_Vraiment pas toi_

_Parce que c'est toi le seul à qui je peux dire_

_Qu'avec toi je n'ai plus peur de vieillir_

_Parce que c'est toi_

_Rien que pour ça_

_Parce que j'avoue j'suis pas non plus tentée_

_D'rester seule dans un monde insensé_

_Si tu crois un jour q'tout est à refaire_

_Qu'il faut changer; on était si bien naguère_

_N'aie pas peur je n'veux pas tout compliquer_

_Pourquoi s'fatiguer_

_Et commence pas à te cacher pour moi_

_Oh non, je te connais trop bien pour ça_

_Je connais par coeur ton visage_

_Tes désirs, ces endroits de ton corps_

_Qui m'disent encore_

_Parce que nous c'est fort_

_Parce que c'est toi j'oserais tout affronter_

_Et c'est toi à qui j'pourrais pardonner_

_Parce que c'est toi_

_Rien que pour ça_

_Parce que c'est toi j'voudrais un jour un enfant_

_Et non pas parce que c'est le moment_

_Parce que c'est toi_

_Je veux te voir dedans_

_J'verrais dans ses yeux tous ces petits défauts_

_Parce que parfait n'est plus mon créneau_

_Parce que c'est toi_

_Parce que c'est toi le seul à qui j'peux dire_

_Qu'avec toi je n'ai plus peur de vieillir_

_Parce que c'est toi_

_Rien que pour ça_

_Parce que j'avoue j'suis pas non plus tentée_

_D'rester seule dans un monde insensé_

_Parce que c'est toi_

**_For those who don't speak french : here the english version:_**

**_Because it's you :_**

_If you believe that I might leave you for a detail, a futility,_

_Don't worry, I'll know the difference._

_If you're scared that I'll let you fade away you at the end of the summer,_

_A bad time to get past,_

_Don't be scared nobody else could replace you that easily._

_Oh No, not you, really not you._

_Because you're the only one to who I can say that with you I'm not scared of growing old anymore._

_Because it's you, only for that reason._

_Because, I must confess, I'm not tempted to stay alone in this insane world._

_If one day you believe that everything should be redone, that we need to change, we used to be so great together, don't be scared, I don't want to complicate everything ._

_Why bother?_

_Don't start to hide for me, oh no, I know you too well for that._

_I know your heart, your face, your desires, those parts of your body that tell me that we're still going strong._

_Because of you I would have the courage to face everything and I would forgive you everything._

_Because it's you, just because of that._

_Because it's you, some day I'm going to want to have a child, not because it's time._

_Because it's you, I want to see you from the inside._

_I would see in your eyes, all your little flows, because perfect isn't really my thing anymore._

_Because you're the only one to who I can say that with you I'm not scared of growing old anymore._

_Because it's you, only for that reason._

_Because, I must confess, I'm not tempted to stay alone in this insane world._

As they are listening to the song over and over holding each other Maura and Jane felt shiver down their spine. The past 6 months have been the most important months of their lives. They both discovered how being in love felt, what support, understanding and patience meant. Jane and Maura were raised differently, and had a different past but they quickly discovered they had the same fears. They were both scared to be close to someone, to open up and reveal their feelings. Over the past 6 months they learned to trust each other, to talk about their fears and to try to overcome them.

After listening to the song in silence several times Maura suddenly turned around to face Jane.

"Something wrong?" Jane asked.

"It's you Jane, it's always been you. I love you." Maura professed as she rested her forehead on Jane's wrapping her arms around her neck.

"I love you too, baby. For the first time of my life I'm not scared of the future, because I know I'm going to grow old with you. You know me better than anyone, you forgive my flows, I think I loved you since the first time I laid my eyes on you." Jane professed tears streaming down her face.

"I feel the same Jane, I've never felt so loved and cared for in my entire life. When I think about my future, I can only imagine it with you." Maura replied.

"So do I."

Jane who was usually so strong and secured never felt so vulnerable in her entire life, she was opening her heart to Maura and she meant every word.

None of them could think straight or even talk, and they didn't need to. All they needed was to feel each other's breath on their face to make them believe that they weren't dreaming.

The world could have stopped spinning or an atomic bomb could have had exploded they wouldn't have noticed anything. The only that mattered was that they were together.

"Make love to me Jane." Maura mumbled looking straight into Jane's eyes.

**A romantic who me?No...:)**

** I know guys you hate me for this!I wrote that chapter in one piece but it was too long and you know how I feel about long chapters…Don't worry you're gonna get what you want tomorrow :)**

**As always go crazy on the reviews:)**

**The Song is " Parce que c'est toi" By Belgian singer Axel Red, It's my favorite song!**


	18. Maura's gift to Jane

**You guys rock!Seriously I wasn't expecting so many reviews for last chapter!Thanks!I hope you wont be disappointed by this chapter.**

**Chapter 18 :**

**Maura's gift to Jane.**

"Make love to me Jane." Maura mumbled looking straight into Jane's eyes.

"I …Are you sure?"

"Yes, I love you, you're in my brain, my soul, my blood, I want you inside of me. I'm ready." Maura said as she took of her shirt off.

Looking into Maura's eyes Jane immediately understood that she was ready this time so she gently grabbed and started kissing her pushing her backward.

"We should go upstairs, it's not very comfortable here." Jane offered as she was now on top of Maura.

"I'm lying on a 5000 dollars carpet Jane, trust me, I'm comfortable." Maura joked seeing how nervous Jane was.

Looking around them they realized things couldn't be more perfect : the music, the fire, the candles. They have both been waiting for this moment for so long and everything finally made sense, it was their moment.

"Alright ." Jane smiled.

As Jane was on top on Maura she started kissing her, wandering her hand on her belly. Strangely Maura didn't seem anxious, she was shaking but she looked comfortable.

Feeling confident Jane continued to kiss her, dragging the tip of her tongue on her chin, jaw line all the way to her neck and unhooked her bra at the front.

"OH Jane." Maura breathed out feeling her breasts being released.

"You're so beautiful." Jane murmured as she gently started to bite Maura's earlobe, which she knew was a very sensitive zone.

"Oh…." Maura starting to moan as she could hear Jane whispering in her hears.

Jane continued roaming her tongue on Maura's skin, moving down to her neck as she gently started to caress her right nipple with her thumb.

"Oh…God Jane…Can you please taking this off?" Maura asked.

"Sure." Jane said as she rapidly took her v-neck t shirt and bra off.

As Jane was taking her bra off Maura immediately reach out to touch them.

"God, I love your breasts, they're so firm." Maura said as she cupped Jane's left breast with her hand.

"They're not bad but not as gorgeous as your yours." Jane smiled leaning over immediately reaching for Maura's breasts.

Maura breasts were slightly larger then Jane's, and her skin was lighter as well. Her nipples were small and of a light pink, and Jane loved the way they tasted and felt under her tongue.

As she felt Jane's tongue literally licking her erected nipples Maura found herself extremely excited, she was already wet, she could feel the warmth between her legs.

"Oh Jane, I'm so wet of you." Maura let out feeling Jane's tongue drawing circles around her hard nipples.

Hearing Maura talking dirty to her, Jane found herself even more excited. Feeling Maura's nipples under her tongue, licking them was like a taste of heaven for her.

"Dr Isles, what is happening to you?Can't you control your language?" Jane joked.

"I can't control my language more than I can control my body…" Maura replied lowering her eyes looking towards between her legs.

"Are you sure you're ready?We can do this another time…"

"No, please continue, let me take this off." Maura replied as she took her jeans and panties off.

Jane who was still on top of her took a minute to roam her eyes on Maura's gorgeous body, memorizing every curve.

Feeling that Maura was uncomfortable naked below her Jane took her pants off as well.

"God I love you so much." Jane whispered as she pressed her naked body against Maura's .

The two women were naked kissing, Maura wandering her fingers on Jane's back while Jane was blowing kissing on her breasts dragging her fingers on her belly feeling Maura shaking as she was getting closer to her folds.

"I..wait…" Maura suddenly said.

"Yes, baby tell me." Jane replied out of breath.

"I want you to use your beautiful hands, please." Maura panted feeling so vulnerable as she was lying on her back her legs spreads, Jane settled between them.

"You don't want me to go down on you?" Jane asked confused.

Having some experience in that matter she knew that oral sex was very satisfying.

"No, not now, I need to see your face please." Maura begged.

"Hey baby, it's alright , I promise everything is going to be great." Jane said kissing her forehead.

Maura was still shaking so Jane decided not to take things further for now and simply continued to kiss her, massaging her breasts to help her relax.

From the way they were positioned, Maura on her back , her legs lifted up and slightly spread and Jane on top of her settled between them, Jane could feel how wet Maura was.

When she was confident that Maura was ready Jane slowly dragged her fingers towards her lover's entrance giving the opportunity to Maura to stop her.

Maura didn't stop her, she actually encouraged herby opening her legs wider.

Seeing Maura's encouragements Jane smiled internally . She decided to tease her for a bit, after all she made her wait 6 months. So Jane gently started to caress Maura's thighs with the tip of her finger slowly moving towards her entrance.

"Oh God, Jane…Please…" Maura begged feelings the warmth between her leg more intense.

"Alright baby." Jane smirked.

Gently Jane moved her hand on Maura's entrance stroking it gently with her middle finger.

"Oh God Jane…Oh…" Maura moaned as she felt Jane middle finger caressing her entrance.

"Baby, you're so wet…" Jane said as she gently started to stroke Maura's swollen clit with her thumb.

"Oh Jane….Oh…Don't stop." Maura panted bucking her hip asking for more.

"Don't worry I won't." Jane whispered her head burying in Maura's neck.

Feeling Maura's fingers on her back and her breath on her her neck Jane discover what making love meant. Feeling their two bodies melting into one, breathing the same rhythm, stroking Maura's clit in unison with her hips, Jane was suddenly submerged by a wave of pleasure running from her toes to her head. Maura wasn't touching her between her legs but feeling her against her like that was enough to make her more wet and give her more pleasure than ever.

Stroking Maura's swollen clit Jane's could feel Maura's juice streaming down her legs, she was swamped.

Feeling Maura shaking at every stroke, breathing heavily she knew she was ready and that she wanted more..

"Jane, baby, wait…" Maura said feeling that Jane was caressing her entrance with her middle finger again knowing that she wanted to penetrate her.

" I promised I'll be gentle." Jane replied ignoring Maura's request.

She couldn't stop , not so close to heaven. Jane knew Maura was still a bit tensed and she knew it would take a while for her to feel completely comfortable making love to her.

"No, Jane, stop." Maura objected grabbing Jane's hand.

"I'm sorry baby, I got caught up in the heat on the moment." Jane apologized removing her hand from between Maura's legs.

"It's alright, I need to tell you something." Maura replied taking a deep breath.

"Can it wait?" Jane replied feelings Maura's juice dripping on her hand.

"No, you were going to penetrate me weren't you?"

"Yes I was, but don't worry about it, I'll be gentle." Jane replied seeing how worried Maura was.

"I know but you should know I'm …tight, I mean I mean so tight that putting a tampon is painful." Maura confessed embarrassed.

"Oh…" Jane replied sliding next to Maura her arms over her belly.

"I'm sorry." Maura murmured her arms crossed on her chest trying to hide.

"Oh baby, don't apologize. I would never hurt you, if you don't feel ready for that we can wait, there are many for me to make love to you, I don't need to penetrate you, alright?"

"Okay. It's just that even if you're gentle it's going to hurt, not matter how excited I am, trust me I tried."Maura sighed.

"I understand, the last thing I want is to hurt you during our first time. I'm sure the more comfortable you're gonna get the less painful it's going to feel, we have all the time in the world to solve this okay?"

"Thank you. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"Please baby trust me,you're not disappointing me, we have all the time in the world for this, but right now I'm going to continue making love to you until you heart stops, but you really need to trust me, I won't hurt you."

"Alright, I trust you." Maura replied closing her eyes knowing what Jane had in mind.

So Jane kept her promise, she continued to make love to her, gently, with love and respect, roaming her fingers and her tongue on her gorgeous body until she finally reached her folds.

Her head between her legs Jane could see that Maura was still a bit stressed so not giving her time to change her mind, Jane started to caress Maura's clit with the tip of her tongue.

"Oh God…Jane….." Maura moaned grabbing Jane's hand squeezing it tight.

As Jane was literally lapping the juice coming from Maura's fold she couldn't help but thinking how great she tasted.

"_She smells and tastes good, she can't be human_." Jane said to herself as she continues to slowly stroke Maura's clit with the tongue.

Maura was very receptive to Jane's strokes, the more Jane licked her the more wet she was, she was in fact so wet that the juice was literally coming out of her fold directly into Jane's mouth, who strangely didn't complained and was more than happy to swallow everything.

Jane knew it wouldn't take long for her to reach heaven, she could feel small contractions everything she pressed her tongue against Maura's tongue. The closer she felt Maura was, the slower she drawer circles around her clit.

"OH Jane, I….I think I'm close." Maura let out squeezing Jane's hand, feeling a violent spasm running through her entire body. "OH Jane, yes right here don't move." Maura requested as she arched her back feeling an intense contraction rushing through her folds.

Feeling Maura's internal muscles tightening Jane pressed her tongue on Maura's clit to increased her pleasure looking up to see Maura's gorgeous breasts raised as she arched her back before falling back head on the cousin behind her.

"Jane that was…incredible." Maura mumbled trying to catch her breath.

"Thank you." Jane smiled dragging her tongue on Maura's belly, up to her breasts licking the drop of sweat off her skin.

"I love you." Maura smiled kissing Jane's licking her own juice off her lips.

"I love you too." Jane replied before sliding at Maura's side wrapping herself around her.

"Don't you want me to reciprocate?" Maura asked .

"No, you're not ready yet, it's alright don't worry I had a lot of pleasure…"

"Did you come?"

"That's not what's important, you came, hard, and it's all that matters, but trust me I really had a great time tasting you like that." Jane said kissing Maura's shoulder.

"Alright. You're right, I'm not ready." Maura sighed impressed by Jane's selflessness .

The two women fell asleep naked, and satisfied. Jane couldn't believe that she finally got to make love to Maura.

Maura lied there satisfied for the first time in her life, wondering why she had waited for so long. Jane turned out to be the tender and gentle lover she thought she would be. She knew that Jane had experience but she was surprised by how much Jane listened to her, to her body. She knew that she had made the right choice, but couldn't help but worrying about the future. She knew that she wasn't comfortable and confident enough to give Jane the kind of pleasure sur was untitled to expect from her.

Making love was the most incredible experience of their life, that symbiotic relationship that they had had finally become physical.

Jane was surprised by how much pleasure she had, Maura barely touched her but she managed to give her more pleasure than any other woman before.

Being in love changed everything, making love to Maura wasn't mechanical like her previous experience. It was a wonderful experience, a challenge for her, she knew she had to listen to Maura, to her body in order to satisfy her. She knew that Maura was still shy about her own body and that it would take a while for her to completely lash out, but from the way she screamed when she climaxed Jane knew that Maura was ready to explode and she couldn't wait to explore her more.

**I know guys, Im bad at writing sexual chapter, I apologize...**

**Please review anyway even to tell me how much I suck!**

**Tomorrow's chapter : Does sex really changes everything?**


	19. Sex changes everything

**Chapter 19:**

**Sex changes everything.**

After their passionate love making session Maura and Jane cuddled for a while until they felt asleep in the living room next to the fire, well at least Maura did. Jane spent most of the night looking at her beautiful girlfriend sleeping realizing how lucky she was to be with such a perfect woman.

The next morning Maura woke up, early, and the first thing she saw was Jane lying next to her looking at her.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, you're up."

"How long have you been watching me sleep?"

"A while…You're shaking, are you cold?"

"A bit, we are naked under this blanket, can you hand me my clothes please?"Maura asked covering herself up with the blanket Jane had lied over them.

"Sure."

Seeing Maura trying to cover herself Jane understood that she was a bit uncomfortable. So she grabbed both their clothes and handed hers to Maura respectfully turning her back on her.

"Thank you." Maura replied grateful that Jane was showing such respect.

"You're welcome." Jane replied putting her clothes on still turning her bad on Maura.

"You can turn around now." Maura said fixing up her shirt.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are lately?" Jane smiled leaning over blowing a tender kiss on Maura's lips.

"Yes, last night, but it's always nice to hear it." Maura smirked falling back on her pillow.

"So how are you feeling?" Jane asked wrapping her arms around her.

This was new for Jane. Usually after having sex with a girl she just left, she never stayed to cuddle or talk, but this was different. After making love to Maura she felt that she would never be able be away from her.

"I feel like everything changed…"

"How?"

"I feel that our relationship became very serious . You know I would never have slept with you if I wasn't convinced you were the one for me. Looking back I always knew it was going to be a big step for us, but now, I realize how important that step was you know."

"Does it scare you?"

"It does. I'm only 24 you know and the idea of committing myself to you is scary, but it's comforting at the same time. I know that I found my better half and that I'll never have to be alone ever again. Some people spend their entire life looking for what we have."

"I know, I think we're very lucky to have found each other, but you're right, we're still young and being in a committed and serious relationship that young can be overwhelming."

"Yes, I mean we've only been together for 6 months and we're already planning on moving in together, before we know it we'll be married and you're gonna have to want kids. That's scary, I'm not ready for that."

"Hey, relax I'm not ready either. I think we should take things one step at the time. I know it's only been 6 months and if you're not ready for us to move in together we can wait. I already spend all my time here anyway."

" No, I'm ready, I want us to have our own flat. I love our house, but it's my parents' , it's filled up with their memories, not ours. I want to have a place that we're going to fill up with our own memories."

"Alright, then we should stick to our plan. You know I haven't thanked you for the wonderful gift you gave me last night…"

"You don't need to, I didn't do anything." Maura replied blushing.

"Of course you did, you showed me how much you loved me by trusting me and letting me lead the dance. It was wonderful Maura. " Jane said looking at her with loving eyes, remembering every single second of their passionate evening.

"It was wonderful for me too, well, obviously you were able to appreciate how much I enjoyed myself."

"Yes, I never thought you would be that vocal."

"Jane!That's not something you say to a lady!" Maura objected rising her voice.

"What?It's the truth, you're always so quiet, but you surprised me, in a good way."

"I'm so embarrassed..."Maura said pulling up the blanket, covering her face.

"Don't be, you let go completely it proves that you not only enjoyed yourself but that you were indeed comfortable. I'm proud of the progress we've made."

"So I am actually, I'm still not 100% comfortable, but I have the feelings that with your help I might get overcome my fears and my insecurities, if you don't mind giving me a little more time."

"Of course not, we have the rest of our lives ."

"I know, I just want to be able to reciprocate, you deserve it Jane, after what you gave me last night and over the past 6months, you really deserve to be satisfied, I'm sorry I couldn't do that last night."

"Do not apologize, I enjoyed myself very much. I knew we wouldn't be able to overcome your fears or insecurities in one night. I'm confident that we're going towards the right direction, don't worry about it."

" I do worry, but I trust you. So anyway, Mrs Rizzoli, are we ready to visit apartments?"

"Yes we are, I have only requirement. I has to be a one bedroom, other wise my mother will demand grand children ." Jane joked.

"I understand, well I don't mind if we only have one bedroom, but I need a room to study."

"Alright, we can manage that. As long as it doesn't look like a nursery."

"Your mother really wants grand children?"

"Yes she does, I'm the older one, you know when I told her I was gay she thought I would never have kids, then gay marriage and adoption were legalized but let just say that I wasn't the relationship type. I think it broke her heart to imagine I would never give her grand children, but ever since I met you she has hope again you know."

"I understand, actually she already asked me, if I was planing on giving you a child."

"What did you say?"

"That I couldn't possibly get pregnant during my residency, and that I would like to built my career before thinking about having kids."

"You told her about 10 year right?"

"Yes,I gave her that time frame, and she wasn't happy about it."

"I bet, she wasn't. Don't worry she'll get over it. I know how overwhelming my mother can be but she really loves you."

"I love her very much as well. I'm so grateful for the way she and your family welcomed me. You gave me the family I never had. Thank you. I hope I will be able to give you one as well someday."

"Don't worry about it, we have all the time in the world to think about it."

Jane and Maura spent the rest of the day talking about their future apartment, going through some adverts online.

Jane felt that Maura was a bit uncomfortable about what happened last night and decided not to be to demanding, which was hard because she couldn't stop thinking about making love to her again. Unfortunately she knew that it would take time for Maura to be 100% comfortable making love to her or talking about it, but she didn't mind. She loved Maura and was determined to be patient with her, even if she couldn't wait for Maura to reciprocate. Even if she was more active than passive in bed, Jane couldn't wait for Maura to go down on her, she from the way she kissed that she would satisfy her like no other woman before. Unfortunately she knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Looking at apartments with Maura Jane realized that Maura was right, things were really getting serious between them. She remembered what her friend Ninna told her a few months ago: that she would probably get bored as soon as she slept with Maura, that what made their relationship so excited was that Maura wasn't easy, that Jane was attracted by the challenge. For a while she was scared that Ninna was right, that she would loose interest right after sleeping with Maura, but thank god it was the opposite. Looking at Maura browsing through different adverts, seeing her overexcited to move in with her, Jane never felt so happy and so in love with never really saw herself in a serious and committed relationship but now she couldn't imagine her life without Maura.

As Maura was looking at some great flats, she felt an excitement she never felt before. For the first time in her life she was making plan for her future, other than professional plans. She knew that after tonight their relationship was more serious than ever, but she had no regrets. She loved Jane and she knew Jane loved her. She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. Actually she realized it right after their first kiss. At first she was scared because of Jane's past and didn't really trust her She thought Jane was with her only to sleep with her, but 6months of complete abstinence convinced her how wrong she was. Feeling Jane's arm around her, she felt loved and protected, even if she always been independent Maura loved how carrying and protective Jane was with her. On some aspects Jane was very masculine, always trying to take care of everything, she was patient, taking care of her, trying to keep her from worrying and she loved it. She knew that Jane was going to continue to be patient and understanding and that she was going to continue to help her, but she knew that she had to put some serious efforts. She knew that as much as she loved her Jane had needs and that she couldn't be the only one to give. Maura knew that after being to patient and understanding Jane was untitled to expect certain things from her and that she wouldn't wait for ever and it scared her. The idea of reciprocating was terrifying, especially considering Jane's past. Maura had no experience and was worried that she wouldn't be able to satisfy Jane, but she knew Jane would teach her and support her and most importantly that she would never force her to do things she didn't wanna do or things she wasn't ready for.

**So guys, I'm sorry for updating so late. I was split, I didn't know if Maura should be comfortable after sleeping with Jane or freak out on her, you know acting like a prude..I think I found the perfect compromise...Next chapter coming soon..I don't know precisely what's happen but I have a few ideas, I'm excited, you won't be disappointed trust me!**


	20. Priorities

**Chapter 20 :**

**Priorities:**

A week after their 6 months anniversary Maura and Jane started to visit apartments. Obviously the two women had different tastes : Maura wanted a vast apartment, with sufficient storage to put her clothes, books and shoes. Jane on the other hand wasn't looking for something fancy, all she needed was to feel comfortable . Even their tastes in furniture was different : Jane was very classic and loved wooden furniture, when Maura loved modern and elegant furniture. Obviously all Jane wanted was to satisfy Maura, so she decided not to fight with her and to do everything to make her happy as long as they didn't go over her budget.

After talking about it Maura begged Jane to stop working over time, she said that she's rather live in a smaller apartment that Jane could offer than seeing her killing herself at work.

That saturday afternoon Maura and Jane had an appointment at 1 pm to visit a nice one bedroom flat Maura had spotted on the internet. It was perfect for them: It had a huge bedroom with plenty of space to put Maura's wardrobe, a smaller bedroom that could be transformed into an office and a nice sized bathroom with a huge bathtub.

After visiting a dozen flats Jane and Maura hoped this one was the one, unfortunately at 1.15 was still not here.

"I'm sorry she should be here any minute now." Maura apologized .

"It's okay, I have another viewing in half an hour though." The landlord said checking his watch.

Maura's family had a personal realtor but Jane had insisted that they did this without Maura's connection. The thing was Maura never abused her parents' connection or money but she wasn't ashamed of using them once in a while. Unfortunately Jane insisting that if Maura wanted to build a life with her they would have to do things like normal people do, as much as possible. Obviously she wasn't asking her to stop buying expensive clothes or use her name to have good tables in fancy restaurant, but she wanted them to do thing by themselves like independent adults

A few minutes later Jane finally arrived.

"I'm so sorry I got caught up at work." Jane suddenly said as she entered the flat kissing Maura.

"It's alright. Shall we start the visit ?"Maura replied.

"Sure." The landlord nodded realizing that Maura and Jane were actually a couple.

So the landlord gave the two women a tour of their apartment, as they were going through the difference room they were holding hand, not willing to hide their relationship.

"So what do you think?" The landlord said as they came back into the living room.

"I think we like it." Maura enthusiastically replied looking at Jane for approval.

"I think we do, the floors are nice, bathroom as been redone recently from what I could see and the bedroom is big enough for your wardrobe, not to mention it's closed to the station." Jane replied wrapping her arm around Maura's waist.

"You're a cop?"

"Yes, I'm a Police Officer and Maura is a Doctor." Jane replied smiling knowing how much Maura loved to be called that.

"Well, yes, I'm graduating in a few weeks, I'm starting my residency in september."

"Alright, that sounds good. Do you have your documentation with you?"

"Yes, we do, I brought my last 3 pay slips and a recommendation from my current landlord." Jane proudly said handing him the papers.

"For me it's a bit different, I'm still living in my parents' house, but I brought you some bank statement so you can I'm able to offer the rent." Maura replied handing him his statement.

"OH…Yes, I can see that…" The landlord replied swallowing as he saw the amount of money money had on her account.

"You really had to flash your money at him like that?"Jane groaned.

"What?I thought he would need to see we were both able to afford the rent."

"Yes, it's perfect, thank you. Here is a copy of the contract if you want your lawyer to have a look at it, you'll see it's quite standard : 2 years lease cancelable every 6 months, deposit is 3 months of rent, charges and bills aren't including in the rent." The landlord said handing the contract to Maura.

"Thank you I will have my lawyer have a look at it. I think we should be able to give you an answer soon, right Jane?"

"Yes." Jane replied.

Jane was always looking to take the lead in those situations, but as soon as Maura showed off her money to the landlord she felt like invisible and that he was only talking to her, and she didn't like it.

As they were back home Maura could feel that Jane was mad at her and felt terrible about it.

"I'm sorry I showed him my bank statements, but my mother warned me that landlord usually don't trust young professionasl, that they often find them to unstable. She also told me they needed guaranties you know, to be sure that we would be able to pay the rent."

"I know, don't worry about it, but I'm sure my pay slips would have been enough. I make a descent living you know, I'm sure he wouldn't have asked for more."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, actually I need to talk to you about." Jane said as they crawled in bed together.

"It sounds serious."

"It is. This morning I was offered a spot at the drug control unit." Jane explained knowing that Maura wouldn't like it.

"Oh, I see. That's certainly a good thing right?"

"Yes, it proves that my Lieutenant trusts me and see my potential. He told me he knew that I was aiming for homicide and this would be an opportunity for me to prove myself."

"You're not seriously considering it?" Maura frowned almost shocked to see how enthusiastic Jane was about this.

"Of course I am, it's a great opportunity for me. I'm gonna be working with experienced Detectives that are gonna be teaching me a lot. I won't even be wearing my uniform anymore, I'll be one of them you know, not to mention there's a 20 % raise."

"Don't tell me you want to do this for the money!"

"Of course not, I'm doing this for the experience and the challenge and because I know it's going to help me to make Homicide Detective."

"You're doing this?" Maura asked rising her eyebrows as she sat up on her bed escaping Jane's embrace.

"Yes."

"Oh, so you made that decision without discussing it with me first?" Maura hissed as she bounced out of bed.

"Calm down okay? This is my career, I should make the decision don't you think?" Jane objected sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No, not when it affects both of us, this job is too dangerous, going after drug dealers, how can this be a good decision for us?"

"My job is dangerous, I go after killers and rapist and monsters all day long. This is who I am, I thought you understood that."

"I do, and I know that your line of work is particularly risky, but I also know that drug units is the most dangerous unit, even more risky than homicide."

As Maura was walking around in her room like an animal in a cage Jane could see how worried she was about this.

"Hey , calm down alright, I know my job is dangerous but I'm careful. I'm always doing everything I can to come home safe, you know that right?" Jane said as she tried to reach out to her girlfriend, grabbing her by the waist.

"No, you're not!You're not careful, you're reckless . You always come home with scratches and bruises because you fought or tackled some criminal. Drugs dealers are dangerous Jane, and knowing how much you love running through danger on purpose, I know I would spend my nights worrying." Maura replied pushing Jane away.

"I'm not reckless, I do my job as best as I can and sometimes I have to put myself in dangerous situations, but it's always calculated. I know that I have my partner to watch my back. I used to be reckless before I met you because I had nothing worth living for but now that we're together, I actually have a reason to be careful and to come home safe. You have to trust me, I don't want anything to happen to me, I know how devastated you would be."

"If you don't want to hurt me, you will refuse this transfer." Maura demanded looking Jane straight in the eyes showing her how serious she was.

"I can't do that Maura. How serious about my career will I look if I refuse that opportunity?"

"You would look like you actually care about your life and people you love and who love you."

"I…I love you Maura, don't ever doubt that." Jane replied shocked that Maura could even doubt her feelings and commitment to her.

"Then the choice will be easy to make. I have to go to the clinic, I promised a colleague to cover for her. I should be back in a few hours. I hope your decision will be made when I come home tonight." Maura said as she grabbed her bag.

"Wait. Are you giving me an ultimatum?Either my career or you?"Jane asked grabbing Maura's arm.

"No, I'm only asking you to consider what's more important for you : your job and the thrill you feel when you chase criminals or making sure that the woman you pretend being in love with doesn't spend her days worrying about your safety. Now would you please let go off me." Maura said escaping Jane's embrace.

Jane stood there, watching Maura walk away asking herself what went wrong. Jane thought that Maura would be proud of her , but instead she asked her to refuse that transfer.

Obviously Jane understood Maura's point and she knew that it was hard to see her coming home with scratches or bruises. She knew that Maura already spends her days worried for her and that she could never go to sleep until Jane was finally in bed with her and that she would worried sick when Jane came home late without calling her.

The thing was Jane loved her job and really wanted to accept this offer. All her life she had made decisions for herself, to fit her needs, she always made the choices that were best for her. Now for the first time in her life she had someone that loved her and depended on her and she couldn't offer to be selfish and reckless anymore.

**Alright guys, this chapter wasn't planned at all...I realize that I write Maura as a pain in Jane's ass, but she's not wrong..Which choice will Jane make?**

**I hope you still enjoy this story, I noticed a lack of reviews for the previous chapter. As always your reviews means the world to me and actually by reviewing me and giving me ideas you help me a lot ! So please review!**


	21. Giving back

**So guys, thanks for the reviews, I wasn't expected so many reactions!I love how invested you are in this story!I know Maura was a bitch on this. I don't know what came to my mind when I wrote this. I think it's time for Maura to give back a little bit...**

**To D : Yes your opinion is worth a lot for me, please continue to give your feedback, positive or negative, it helps me and makes me a better writer! **

**Chapter 21:**

**Giving back:**

While Maura was at work Jane lied in bed replaying their conversation in her head. She couldn't help but resenting Maura for her attitude. Over the past 6 months Jane had given her everything : her time, her patience, her love, she actually completely changed who she was for her, to be worthy of her love . Now Maura was asking her to give up her dream, and as much as Jane loved her it was too much for her to handle. Ever since she was a little girl Jane wanted to be a cop and she has been working hard for the past 3 years and now that her effort were recognized and rewarded she should give it all up so her girlfriend wouldn't worry?No, that wasn't something she could consider, but on the other hand could she consider living without Maura?Could she also consider living with someone who made her give up her dream when she already had already given up so much to be with her?The answer was yes. As much as she knew she would be miserable for the rest of her life if she was forced to stay a simple officer, Jane loved Maura. She remembered how lonely and miserable her life was before they met and she didn't want to go back to that life. Maybe being spending the rest of her life with Maura would satisfy her enough so she wouldn't regret giving up her dream. Or maybe she would resent her for forcing her to make that choice. All Jane knew was that she loved Maura and that Maura loved her. Unfortunately Maura still had trust issues and rather than breaking up with her, the adult thing to do was talk to her about it and try to solve the problem . She knew that the best thing to do was to find a compromise that wouldn't be a sacrifice for either of them. Jane was aware and thankful that Maura gave her virginity to her, but right now it felt like a poisoned gift. She knew that not matter what she gave Maura she could never live up to that gift. She knew that Maura was to well educated to remind her of what she had given her, but she knew that she was expecting Jane to be grateful and to act accordingly. Jane spent hours trying to make a decision, and her head was hurting so hard that it exhausted her to the point where she fell asleep without noticing it.

When Jane finally woke up Maura was lying in bed next to her watching her sleep

"Hey, you're back." Jane said painfully opening her eyes.

"Yes, I came back a few minutes ago. I'm sorry to wake you up." Maura replied smiling swiping hair away from Jane's face.

"It's alright." Jane yawned as she straightened up in bed.

"How much do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. I actually spent several hours thinking about our conversation, trying to make a decision."

"Oh I see. Is this the moment when you break up with me?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wanted to break up with you but the way I see things, I already changed a lot for you. I changed who I was because I love you and wanted to be good enough for you, but I feel that no matter what I do it's never enough."

"It is, I love you Jane."

"Then why are you trying to change me?I know I had to change, that I couldn't continue living my life the way I lived it and be with you, but I shouldn't have to completely change who I am for you. You should love me for who I am, and I'm a cop, you knew it from the start."

"I know and I realize that asking you refuse this promotion was completely selfish and childish."

"I understand your point, I really do, but as much as I love you my job is important too and if I know that if I don't take this job, I'll never make detective."

"I understand, you've been working for years for this and your hard work finally paid off. I just…I'm scared of loosing you."

"You won't. If you don't trust me when I'm telling you that I'm careful now and that I would never put myself in danger on purpose, then maybe we're not ready to move in together."

"Don't say that. I love you and I trust you. I don't want you to change, actually I never asked you to change for me."

"You didn't ask me to change but I knew you would have never loved me the way I was."

"You're wrong. I fell in love with you before you told me about your past. I fell in love with you when we spent hours under that three talking, my head on your lap. When you told me about your past I didn't run away. I never judged you for your past Jane. All I can see when is how carrying, funny you are and how safe I feel when I'm with you. nothing else matters."

"I know, you gave me a chance, and you gave me your virginity, and trust me I am grateful. It's just I feel like you gave me this great gift and you now expect me to not only be grateful for it but also to live up to that gift and reciprocate, but I know that nothing I could ever top the gift you gave me."

"Oh Jane, you're taking this the wrong way. I'm the one who should be grateful for everything you gave me not the other way around. Obviously giving you my virginity was a wonderful gift but you gave me so much, don't ever think that you can't live up to what I gave you. You gave me more then I could have ever dreamed or whited for. I'm the one who should be grateful and who should try to live up to what you've been giving me for the past 6 months but instead of doing that I act like a spoil child."

"Well to be fair, I'm your first relationship and as much as you know about the human mind you have a lot of things to learn about relationship and so do I. For example a relationship is about sacrifices and compromises."

" I know and it's also about trust. I'm sorry, I do trust you and extremely proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course, you worked hard for the past 3 years and you're finally seeing the results. I do have to admit that I'm going to miss seeing you in your uniform, but you can always wear it at home right?"

"Of course I can. Wait does that mean I have your blessing?I don't want to loose or to hurt you."

"I know, I think I'm going to worry a lot but I'd rather worry then keeping you from realizing your dream. I know I couldn't bear seeing you unhappy because of me."

"You could never make me unhappy, I love you. I would refuse this job in a heart beat if it meant keeping you from being hurt, you know that right?"

"I know but I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who traps the woman she loves in that kind of relationship. Just promise me you won't stay in that unit for ever and that our relationship will always come first."

"Of course. You know my ultimate goal is Homicide, so don't worry this is only temporary and yes I promise you that you will always comes first. The hours might be a bit different but I promise to always make you my priority."

"Will you be going under cover?"

"I doubt it. I'm not experienced enough to infiltrate drugs gangs and besides as sexist as it sounds only male Detective are sent undercover for that type of operation."

"Why is that? Don't drug dealers work with women as well?"

"Yes, but women are usually at the end of the chain you know. When we infiltrate a gang our goal is to get as close to the top of the organization as possible and drugs lords don't tolerate with women at that level"

"Well, for the first time in my life I'm actually grateful for sexism."

"So I am. I want our relationship to work, I really do, I can't wait for us to move into that flat."

"Which one are you talking about?"

"The one we visited yesterday, I could see how much you loved it."

"Did you like it as well?"

"It's a bit big for me, but you have a lot of clothes and books so we're gonna need the space. I think you and I are going to be very happy in this apartment."

"I think so too. Should we call the landlord?"Maura asked clapping her hands over excited.

"Yes, I think we should move fast, an apartment like that is gonna go fast."Jane replied smiling enjoying the happy smile on her girlfriend's face.

Jane was right being in a relationship was about trust and compromise. As much as Maura knew she was going worry sick, she couldn't keep Jane from realizing her dream. She knew Jane would have given it up for her but that she would have been miserable for the rest of her life. After all Jane gave her and all the compromises she had already made to be with her it was only fair that she made the effort for once. Thinking about it Maura realized that she had been acting like a spoiled princess. At first right after Jane confessed her past to her, she started to test her to see if she was sincere. She held on a bit and let Jane prove herself to her. Unfortunately with time she got comfortable and got used to being treated like a princess. Obviously Maura didn't feel that she wasn't giving anything to Jane, but she was aware that Jane was certainly the one who made the more compromises and sacrifices and for the first time since they've been dating she felt that it was time to change that pattern. She knew that there was no need to feel defensive anymore, that she could trust Jane and give herself to her completely.

**So guys, satisfied?I know I made a lot of you angry with the previous chapter ...But I like to write some drama just to see you react!At first I wanted this story to be a romantic and easy one, but I love drama too much. I never imagined writing Maura as such a pain in Jane's ass. I think from no won Maura is going to reciprocate a bit more and give more to Jane. Obviously I have lots of drama in mind, but I think Maura understood that she acted like a spoil princess and that it was time for her to change!  
>As always please go crazy on reviews! <strong>


	22. Home sweet home

**Chapter 22:**

**Home sweet home.**

About a week later Jane and Maura were ready to move into their new apartments. They had met the landlord, signed the lease and paid the deposit. Jane couldn't help but being proud to be able to move into her own apartment with her gorgeous girlfriend. She had worked her ass off for months to be able to pay for it and was proud to have achieve something that important. Packing didn't take her long, she only had a suitcase of clothes and about 5 boxes of books and cd's. Unfortunately packing Maura's things wasn't so easy. Even if she knew she would be able to drop by her parents house if she needed anything she insisted to pack her entire wardrobe and her entire shoe collection.

That sunday afternoon with the Rizzolis' help Maura and Jane finally moved into their first love nest.

Around 5 O'clock Jane finally managed to get rid of her overwhelming mother and Maura and her found themselves in front of their new apartment.

"Wait." Jane suddenly said as Maura was about to step into their new apartment.

"Jane what are you doing?" Maura squealed feeling Jane's arms around her and her feet off the ground.

"I'm carrying you through the door, it's a tradition." Jane said as she stepped inside their new home Maura's in her arms.

"Alright." Maura smiled wrapping her arms around her neck.

"You know what's also tradition?" Jane smiled carrying Maura towards the bedroom.

"No but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"It's tradition to make love in every single room." Jane replied as she gently throw Maura on the bed.

"Really?Would you mind if I check that information on the internet, just to be sure you're not trying to trick me into having sex with you?" Maura joked as she felt Jane's body against her.

"Right, like I need to trick you to convince you to have sex with me." Jane replied as she started to kiss her.

"Probably not, but you know, we haven't made love since our first time." Maura pointed out a bit uncomfortable.

"You're right, between viewings apartment, your job at the clinic and my job, not to mention shopping for new furniture, we didn't really have time."

"Well I'm happy we're finally in our new home, all we need to do is unpack."

"Unpacking can wait, we spent the day carrying boxes and suitcases, we deserve a break. How about I draw us a nice hot bath?" Jane offered.

"I would really love the thank you."

"I'll call you when it's ready." Jane said leaning a tender kiss on Maura's forehead.

"How about you slid in the bathtub and I join you in a few minutes?"

"Alright."

As Jane was walking towards the bathroom she realized that Maura was right : between the apartment hunt and packing, shopping for furniture not to mention their jobs, they haven't made love since their first time.

Jane was proud of Maura's progress, but she knew she still had important body image issues and confidence issues. Jane knew that Maura would need time and patience before being completely comfortable with their sexuality and she wasn't willing to push her. She understood that it wasn't because they had made love once that she was untitled to ask for sex when ever she wanted.

So Jane drew a nice hot bubble bath for her and Maura trying to find the perfect temperature. As requested by Maura once the bathtub was full she simply took her clothes off and slid in and waited for Maura.

A few minutes later Maura finally joined her into the bathroom.

"May I come in?" Maura said her eyes respectfully closed her head half way through the door.

"Yes please, I'm already in."

As Maura stepped into the bathroom Jane immediately got a breath taken away : Maura was only wearing a white robe and had a hair in a pony tail, but to Jane she was the most beautiful in the world.

"Would you mind closing your eyes for a minute?" Maura shyly asked covering her chest.

"Sure." Jane replied respectfully closing her eyes.

After taking her robe off Maura slowly slide in the bath tub positioning herself between Jane's legs turning her back on her.

"You can open your eyes now." Maura said slightly shaking.

"I like what I see ." Jane smiled wrapping her arms around her waist pulling Maura against her.

Feeling Jane's arms around her and her breasts on her back Maura starting to feel shiver down her spine. She was a bit uncomfortable but found herself enjoying being so close to Jane again.

"How's the water?" Jane asked kissing Maura's shoulder.

"It's perfect, thank you. I think taking a hot bath was a great idea my entire body is sore."

"Well I told you not to carry everything heavy that my brothers and dad where here for that."

"I know, I just didn't want to look like a spoil princess who never used her hands in her life."

"My parents don't see you that way, they love you, you should know that…"Jane said as she started to massage Maura's shoulders pressing her fingers on her wet skin.

"I know…Oh Jane…Right there…"Maura moaned as she felt Jane's fingers on her skin.

"You like that baby?" Jane murmured her voice slightly deeper.

"Yes, I do, don't stop."

So Jane continued to massage Maura's shoulders kissing her back at the same time. She could feel Maura slowing relaxing under her fingers and gently started to moved her hand from her shoulder to her lower back, dragging her tongue on her spine. After a few minutes feeling Maura wasn't making any objections Jane slowly moved her right hand on Maura's belly, gently caressing it with her finger tips.

"Jane..."Maura murmured feeling her arousal rising by the minute.

"Yes, baby..."

"Take me to bed now." Maura panted knowing it wouldn't take her long to lose control.

"Alright." Jane smiled kissing her shoulder.

"Thank you." Maura said before getting off the bathtub so fast that Jane didn't had the time to close her eyes.

"Wow..." Jane said to herself looking at Maura stand naked in front of her, her entire body wet.

"You like what you see?"Maura smile.

"Yes I do." Jane replied bouncing out of the bathtub as well.

The two women were now naked in the middle of their bathroom, Jane unable to believe that Maura was standing in front of her without trying to cover herself.

"You know what I would really like?"Maura whispered as she wrapped her arms around Jane's neck.

"Tell me."

"I would like you to carry me to our bedroom. I don't feel like walking." Maura teased pressing her wet body against Jane.

"Alright." Jane replied lifting Maura off the ground.

As Jane was carrying Maura to the bedroom Jane would feel Maura's breasts against hers. The couple started kissing Maura drawing circle on Jane's neck...

As they entered the bedroom Jane smiled already picturing everything she was going to do to her girlfriend.

"I can't believe you're all mine." Jane said as she throw Maura on their bed climbing on top of her.

"Of course I'm all yours. Are you all mine as well?"

"Of course, you're the only one for me." Jane said looking down at Maura.

Looking into Maura's big brown eye Jane could see how scared Maura was to loose her. They had just moved into their own flat, but Maura was worried about Jane leaving her or cheating on her.

"I love you Jane." Maura whispered dragging her fingers on Jane's back feeling her breath on her face.

"I love you too Maura." Jane replied kissing her.

Being in their own flat gave them the freedom to do what ever they wanted without worrying about either Maura's parents or maid catching them in the act.

Also Jane knew that moving in together was the kind of commitment that helped Maura trust her more.

Freed of the worry of being caught Jane made love to Maura for hours, dragging her tongue on every square inch of her skin, letting her fingers explore her body.

Making love to Maura for the second time was as great as the first time, and less stressful. Jane took the time to enjoy the taste of Maura's skin under her tongue, the texture of her nippled hardening under her teeth.

For the first time in her life and unlike the last time they made love Maura was able to relax completely, letting Jane lead the dace, trusting her all the way. Feeling Jane's fingers stroking her erected nipples and her tongues stroking her swollen clit Maura found herself more excited she thought was humanely possible. Letting herself go in Jane's arms her vision started to get blurry, she couldn't see, or talk or even move. She felt loved and taken care off for the first time in her life.

The more Maura was enjoying herself the more Jane was eager to pleasure and wasn't willing to stop until Maura begged her to. She barely let her catch her breath after her first orgasm and continued to stroke Maura's sensitive clit with her tongue swallowing the juice coming out of her folds

Feeling Jane stimulating her sensitive clit only a few seconds after an earth shattering orgasm Maura thought she was going to faint.

"Oh...Jane...not so fast, It's a bit sensitive." Maura said trying to escape Jane's grip.

"Really?" Jane joked holding Maura's legs tight so she wouldn't escape before resuming licking Maura's clit.

"Oh...God...Jane...I'm serious, I'm new at this remember, my endurance still needs to be improved."

"Alright, alright." Jane said making her way up next to Maura wrapping herself around her.

"Good God, that was...You're insatiable."Maura mumbled swallowing hard.

"I just love you very much and I love tasting you even more."Jane replied.

"I think I would like tasting you as well."

"Actually, I think I need to rest, we have all the time in the world to explore each other." Jane said kissing Maura's cheek.

"Alright." Maura nodded.

The two women stayed in bed for while, naked cuddling exhausted by moving and by making love for hours.

The truth was Jane was a little anxious to reciprocate. She never told Maura but she actually never let a woman go down on her. With her past partners Jane was always the dominant one. She obviously let the girls she slept with satisfied her but only by using their hands, or toys and had experienced some great sexual satisfaction but she always thought that letting a girl go down on her was something really private and personal, and until she met Maura she never feel close enough to let that happen. She loved Maura and wanted to give herself to her 100%, to give her things she never gave to any other women, but she was scared because she had never been so far. Jane didn't want to rush things, she knew that Maura wasn't ready to go down on her anyway or even to satisfy her using her hands. She was actually proud of the progress Maura had made and making love to Maura, feeling her fingers on her back, her breath on her neck, hearing her moaning, feeling her climaxing in her mouth was enough to pleasure herself. At least for now.

Maura fell asleep satisfied and proud of the progress she had made. Showing her self naked to Jane in the bathroom with the light on was a big step for her. The more time passes the more confident she felt, but she was grateful that Jane understood it was still a little too soon for her to reciprocate. Lying in bed with Jane in their very first flat Maura felt more confident then ever. She knew she was with a woman who loved and respected her, and she knew it wouldn't take long before feeling completely free of her fears and discomfort and shyness.

**So guys I know what you think, now Jane is the prude...Well first Maura isn't really ready to go down on Jane or even to satisfy her with her hands. I warned you it would take time. I think that Jane is happy satisfying Maura, and even if Maura doesn't reciprocate she's satisfied. Second letting someone go down on you is very personal so I understand her point!**

**Just a special thanks for Faye who disturbed when I was writing. I was inspired had dirty thoughts in mind and you came along, we ended up talking all night and I ended up writing this less dirty chapter than the one I had in mind!**


	23. Bodyguard

**First of all guys, sorry for not updating soon. It's been hard for me to upload. I hope you won't be disappointed and that I was worth the wait.**

**Chapter 23:**

**Bodyguard.**

As Maura and Jane were lying in bed after their passionate love making session, they both realized how perfect their lives was. They had everything they always dreamed about, actually they more they ever dared to wish for. They knew that their relationship like any other relationship needed work to stay strong but they knew that they could face everything as long as they loved and supported each other .

"Jane?" Maura asked her head resting on her girlfriend's chest.

"Yes." Jane sighed exhausted.

"I need to ask you something and you might no tike it." Maura replied .

"Oh baby, right now you can ask me anything." Jane smile kissing her forehead.

"Well, I wouldn't want to take advantage of you post coital happiness."

"You can take advantage of me all you want, come on shot."

"Alright, well my parents are organizing a fundraiser even this wednesday and they're expecting us."

"Us?You mean they actually want me to be your official date?" Jane asked surprised.

Jane had met Maura's parents a few weeks ago and still didn't really know how they felt about her. She knew that they didn't dislike her, but she had no idea if she had convinced her that she was good enough for their princess.

"Yes. My mother called me earlier today to confirm my presence and ask me if you would be attending as well. She really wants you there. I think you made quite an impression on her."

"Well I'm happy your mother likes me, what kind of fundraiser is it?"

"Well it's a dinner where guests buy tables and the money gathered goes directly to our foundation. It's not as boring as it may sound. The food and wine are always quite exceptional, not to mention my mother always makes the best musical choices."

"How much is a table?"

"5000."

"Holy crap, for that price I hope the food is good, God why would people pay that much for a dinner?"

"Well first it's for a good cause, so it obviously brings positive press for those who attend and donate and it's tax deductible."

"Yes, I always said rich people wouldn't be so generous if it wasn't tax deductible."

"You're probably right, but the most important thing is our foundation is helping a lot of people, this dinner in particular is going to help finance a new tutorial program in several schools . It's a good cause, we don't really care if donators do it for the publicity or for the tax deductions you know."

"I know, well I would be happy to go, if you want me to."

"Why wouldn't I want you to come?"

"Well, you know I might embarrass you, with my bad manners and my big mouth."

"You won' t embarrass me. I couldn't care less about what people think of you. My parents like you very much. They were impressed by the way you handled the situation at the restaurant. "

"Well I don't like people disrespecting you and those guys were looking at you like if you were a piece of meat. I had to do something."

"And that's why I love you so much. You respect me so much and you're always looking out for me. I'm actually counting on you to protect me."

"Oh, I see, so you want me to come to keep men from harassing you?"

"Yes, you know my parents always used those dinners to try to introduce me to men from healthy families. Unfortunately it's not because I'm with you that men will stop trying to win my interest."

"Why would they?You're a catch."

"Thank you, but I think those men are more interest in my trust found and by the power and influence my family has than me. "

"Well, I don't care about all that, I love you for you, I don't care about the money or the power."

"I know, that's why I love you so much. I'm tired of people approaching me because I'm an Isles, not because I'm a smart, interesting person. I'm happy I have found you, you're so different and I'm sure you're going to protect me during this dinner."

"I will, don't worry, I won't let any one lay their hands or eyes on you."

"I know, but if you don't want to come you don't have to, I'll understand. It might not be fun for you, staying at my arm, following me around while I talk to our guests about our new project."

"You mean, I'm going to be a trophy wife?"

"Yes, I suppose you can call it that. I'm sorry I know how independent you are and …."

"Would you stop please?I said I would do it and I will. I mean how many time have you accepted to come to the Dirty Robber or to eat at my parents' house. Ever since we started together you're doing your best to fit into my world, it's time I return the favor. "

"You know how much I enjoy your family, I always have so much fun when we go have dinner with them. I can't say I enjoy the baseball games at the Dirty Rubber, but you like that place and I want you to have fun. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices and compromises."

"Exactly, so let me be your date for that dinner. As long as I don't have to wear a dress, I should be fine."

"About that…"

"Oh no, no, I don't mind playing the trophy wife but I'm not wearing a dress." Jane objected.

"I'm sorry Jane, but as much as I found your suits extremely sexy, you're going to have to wear a dress. "

"I don't even have a dress." Jane complained picturing herself wearing a ridiculous dress.

"Yes you do, you have one gorgeous black dress. I saw it when we moved in."

"Yes, my mother forced me to buy it a while back to go to a funeral."

"Well, it's completely appropriate, I couldn't find the matching shoes, where are they?"

"I…don't have them anymore. I threw them away after the funeral, they hurt my feet."

"Don't worry about it. I will go shopping tomorrow and find you the perfect pair."

"Maura!I'm not a child, I don't need you to go shopping for me."

"Alright, alright, then you will have to go by yourself. "

"I hate shopping, especially shoe shopping. Okay, you can buy me a pair, but nothing too fancy, I want them comfortable. I'm already going to look ridiculous in that dress, I don't need painful feet as well."

"Alright. Thank you for doing this. You're my hero. " Maura said giving a very grateful kiss to her.

"I wouldn't do it for anybody else, I hope you know that."

"I know and be sure that you're going to be generously rewarded."

"I hope so."

A few days later Maura and Jane were almost ready to go. Maura was already dressed up in a gorgeous blue dress she had purchased for this occasion. Jane on the other hand was still reluctant to put that black dress on.

"Come on Maura, I look ridiculous in this dress." Jane complained looking at herself in the mirror.

"I don't agree, you look very sexy. You know, I think I'm going to spend the entire dinner picturing myself undressing you." Maura teased snaking her arms around Jane.

"If those shoes don't kill me might let you ."

"Don't worry I those shoes are comfortable, you might need a little while to adjust but they won't hurt and even if they do, I'll be happy to rub your feet."

"Alright, alright. I think going through all this might be worth it after all. Have I mentioned how gorgeous you are in that dress?"Jane said pulling Maura against her innocently sliding her hand towards the zipper of Maura's dress.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jane smiled as she started to unzip Maura's dress.

"Jane...Not now, my mother is expecting us in 45 minutes. The car will be here in 15 minutes." Maura object feeling Jane's lips on her neck.

"I can be quick." Jane murmured, bitting Maura's ear lobe.

"I seriously doubt that. Please Jane, we won't stay late I promise." Maura replied feeling shiver down her spine. She knew that she wouldn't be able to resist for long and that if Jane didn't stop right now she would have to surrender .

"Alright. You're right 15 minutes isn't enough for what I have in mind. Let's go."

"Thank God." Maura said to herself.

45 Minutes later Jane and Maura finally arrived at the Plaza where the fundraising was taking place.

"Just breath everything is going to be okay." Maura said holding Jane's hand seeing how nervous she was.

As Maura and Jane were walking towards Constance Isles Jane couldn't help but feeling that she wasn't in her element at all. All those rich and powerful people, all that money, weren't things she was used to. Unfortunately she knew that dating Maura would mean assisting to those events from time to time. Ever since they started dating Maura had tried not to flash her money at Jane's face. She never asked to go to fancy restaurants or made any comments because she knew that Jane came from a modest family and didn't want money to be an issue between them. Obviously they talked about money when they decided to move in together, to be sure to chose an apartment they would be able to afford on their salaries only and not on Maura's fortune. Luckily Jane didn't seem to have a problem with Maura's money, she knew that Maura was different from other privileged people she had made in her life, that she didn't used her power and money to get what she wants .

"Jane, I'm glad you agreed to come."Constance Isles said as the two women approached her, still holding hands.

"The pleasure is mine Mrs Isles, this place is spectacular."

"Thank you, I took care of the decoration myself."

"You certainly have great taste."

"Thank you. Why don't go get yourselves a drink, I will talk to you later. Maura don't forget to pay your respects to everyone."

"Of course mother. Do you know if the Fairfields will be attending?"

"I believe they are. Don't worry I'm sure Garret doesn't hold a grudge against you. Now if you would excuse me."

"Who is that Garret guy?" Jane asked.

"He's nobody. We went on a date last year just to please my parents, but for obvious reasons I decided not to pursue a relationship with him. Unfortunately he is quite arrogant and holds a grudge against me for rejecting him. "

"Alright. Don't worry I'll protect you from him."

"I know."

For the next two hours, Jane stood by Maura's side when she shook at least a hundred hands, making the same speech to every single donator about their new project. Maura could see how bored Jane was and was grateful that she was devoted enough not to show it more obviously.

"Thank you again for doing this." Maura said pulling Jane apart.

"You're welcome, you were right, food is good, wine is good not to mention the company is good." Jane said her arms around her.

"It shouldn't take long." Maura sighed leaning her forehead against her.

"Alright, my feet arena's in pain, so we can stay a little longer if you want."

As Jane and Maura were enjoying a little moment together Maura suddenly spotted Garret Fairfield standing a few feet from them, looking at her.

"Oh is coming."

"What?"

"You see this guy over there?" Maura said smiling at Garret.

"Yes."

"That's Garet Fairfield."

"Let the fun begin." Jane smiled as Garret was walking towards them.

"Maura,it's very nice to see you again, you look spectacular." Garret Fairfield politely said kissing the top of Maura's hand like a perfect gentleman.

"Garet, it's a pleasure to meet you." Maura grinned withdrawing her hand.

"And I see you brought a friend. Nice to meet you."

"I'm officer Jane Rizzoli. I'm Maura's girlfriend." Jane groaned already hating the bastard for touching her like that.

"Oh, how nice of you to join us tonight, those dinners can be boring, you are a very devote friend."

"Not friend, Garret, girlfriend. Jane and I have been dating for over 6 months. "

"And we just moved it together a week ago." Jane continued her arms around Maura's waist.

"You're a…." Garret mumbled.

"A lesbian? Yes I am.I'm a very fortunate lesbian."Maura replied looking at Jane.

" I knew something was wrong with you."

"Why?Because she refused to sleep with a jerk like you?"Jane rasped taking a step towards him.

"Jane. You don't need to do this."Maura said her hand on Jane's back .

"Yes I do. Look, how about you go back to your friends and forget about Maura. She's with me and she's going to stay with me, so get lost." Jane threatened looking at him to make sure he understood how serious she was.

"Is this what you want Maura?Do you really want to be with a….woman, a cop who will never be able to give you what you need?"

"If what you mean is money, I couldn't care less, If there's something Jane taught it's that money doesn't matter. She gives me more and provides more for me than you would ever be able to. Oh and If you're referring to your males attributes, from what I heard, I'm not missing much either." Maura chucked looking at him straight in the eyes.

"That's…You know what Maura?One day you'll be sorry, when that days come don't come to my door." Garret mumbled visibly humiliated.

"I won't." Maura replied as she walked him walking away.

"Wow, you're so hot when you're mad!" Jane smiled.

"I'm sorry, I lost my nerves, what's up with men and their penises and their money?"

"I don't know, Are you okay?"

"Yes I am I feel quite liberated. I'm sure that he's going to try to humiliate me by telling everyone about us."

"Is that a problem?"

"Absolutely not. It will safe me the time I would have lost coming out to everyone in our social circle, how about you take me home?I'm exhausted."

"So am I, but I hope you're not to tired to give me my reward."

"You're claiming it tonight?"

"You bet I am."

"Alright then, give me a few minutes to say goodbye to my mother."

As Maura was paying her respects to her mother Jane couldn't help but being proud of her. She knew that the people Maura usually evolved around were judgmental and she didn't expect her to come out that easily. She knew that in her circles appearance mattered and was scared that she would keep them in the closest to maintain the image people have of her and her family. Obviously she didn't know her very well, Maura Isles was a woman full of surprises and Jane couldn't wait to see what else she would surprise her with.

**So guys, I hope it was worth the wait. I little jealous and protective Jane never hurts.**

**I promise I' going to try to focus more on this story in the future. I know how much you like it.**

**As always reviews are appreciated!Sorry again for letting you down.**


	24. Jealousy 2

**Chapter 24 :**

**Jealousy **

Two weeks have passed since the charity dinner and Maura was getting ready for her med-school graduation. Maura and Jane have now been leaving together for a couple of weeks and after an adjustment period things were now going smoothly.

Both women knew that moving in together was a big step , that it made their relationship more serious and official. At first Maura was a bit hesitant because she knew that the minute they moved in together people including her parents would expect them to get engaged and married . Unfortunately she knew how much Jane enjoyed her freedom and independence and the last thing she wanted was to pressure her. Luckily for her Jane didn't seem reluctant to consider their future together. The more time passes the more Jane was showing her how much she loved her and how serious she was about their relationship. Over the past months Maura had attended to several Rizzolis dinners and birthdays, but the recent charity dinner was the first "Isles" event Jane was invited to and she made a very good impression on her mother. The next step for Jane was to assist to Maura's graduation the following week.

After spending a day out shopping with her mother Maura finally came home her hands full of designer bags.

When she entered their apartment she found Jane sitting on the couch folding some clothes.

"Look at you folding my laundry." Maura smiled as she took her coat and shoes off.

"Well it's been sitting there for a while and you're always the one to do those things, so I figured I'd do it for once. " Jane replied.

"Thank you. You keep on surprising me." Maura said as she sat next to her.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I just never thought you were the domestic type."

"I'm not but I want to do my part of domestic chores. I know your residency is going to be tiring for you and I want you to be able to relax when you come home."

"You're sweet, I'm happy we decided to move in together, it's been a wonderful experience so far." Maura agreed as she rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

"I agree, I was a bit nervous at first being the lonely wolf that I am, I thought being with you meant scarifying my freedom and independence ,but being with you is probably the most natural thing I've ever done."

"I feel exactly the same and again thank you for coming to my graduation."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I took a day off so we I won't be called."

"I hope you're prepared because my parents organized this huge party at our house with all our closest friends."

"You don't seem to be happy about that."

"They are their friends not mine. I know they're proud of me, but I feel it's too soon, I just finished med school but I'm not a medical examiner yet ."

"Don't worry I'm sure they will organize a party when you finish your fellowship as well."

"I know, would you excuse me I think my phone is vibrated."Maura said as she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

"I thought I was the one making your but vibrate like that." Jane teased as she started to kiss Maura's neck

"Please behave. Maura Isles speaking. Hi, yes, please give me a minute." Maura said as she moved away from Jane.

A few minutes later Maura came back with a smile on her face.

"Who was that?" Jane said as she pulled Maura back on the couch with her.

"It was…an old friend." Maura mumbled.

"An old friend?I thought you couldn't lie…"

"Alright,please don't get jealous."

"Oh, it was your ex."

"Ex might not be the appropriate choice of word, we just went out a couple of times."

"What did she want?"

"She's in town to visit her parents, she wanted us to have dinner."

"Did you tell her that you were taken?"

"No, the subject didn't come up."

"Maura!" Jane hissed she suddenly bounced off the couch.

"What?She caught me by surprise, but don't worry it's a perfectly innocent offer, she just wants to catch up with me, she knows I'm graduating next week and wanted to congratulate me.."

"Well didn't she congratulated you on the phone already?Don't be naive all she wants is to reignite the old flame, she's probably hoping to get laid."

"Jane, please watch your language, you know nothing happened between us, it was just a fling." Maura quietly replied as she took a step towards her girlfriend.

"You may have not slept with her but she was your first."

"No, you are my first. When I met her I was having an identity crisis . I felt attracted more and more attracted to women and she just happened. I was attracted to her physically but I was never in love with her. You 're the only woman I ever been in love with with and the only one I want to be with for the rest of my life." Maura replied wrapping her arms around her.

She knew Jane had a jealous temper and she knew that things could escalate fast if she didn't reassure her quickly.

"She touched you, she kiss you, she…"

"We kissed and cuddled, but it was nothing sexual, she never touched my breasts on any other sensitive part of my body."

"Well she's apparently not giving up. I know I wouldn't."

"Don't worry I will tell her that I met the woman of my dreams and that I'm in no way opened to reconcile with her. I think she has better things to do than chasing after a woman she will never have."

"I know what you're going to tell her but I still don't want you to meet her, period." Jane harshly said .

"Jane, don't be like that, she's just a friend." Maura replied taking a step back.

"A friend who you used to be attracted to and who had her tongue down your throat."

"You're unbelievable. How many women in this town have had their mouths in your….you know?"

"You know it's not the same."

"Oh, I see so I have to trust you despite your past and the dozens of women you've slept with but you can't accept that I meet with a friend I went out with a couple of times?"

"That's not what I meant…I just don't feel comfortable picturing you with her, you know I never saw and never will see any of my exes again."

"Jane, I love you, you're the only one, I belong to you heart and soul, but I still have my own will power and if I want to have dinner with an old friend I will."

"Than you won't mind if I go have dinner with one of my exes?"

"Jane, please don't do this."

"Don't do what?You always say we have to trust each other and that being in a relationship is about equality . If you have the right to go have dinner with your ex so do I."

"It's not the same, you're doing it to punish me, you know it would hurt me to imagine you with one of them."

"I don't want to hurt you Maura , I only want to be with you and so should you, you're my girl, you can't just go be with your ex whenever it pleases you."

"I'm your girlfriend not your property. If you really loved me you would either accept my decision or come with me to that dinner so I can introduce you."

"You bet I'm coming, there is no way I'm letting you go alone."

"Letting me?Again this is not the 50's Jane. I'm not your property, you know I usually love your protectiveness but this is too much . I don't even recognize you anymore, you've changed."

"I changed?"

"Yes you're more possessive since we…started having sex and I don 't like it."

"I'm sorry Maura, I guess I changed since we started to have sex, it's just..I guess I still have insecurities."

"Why?I gave my virginity to you, that should help you feel secure about my feelings for you and my commitment."

"It does, and that's what scares me, Now I know that I can't screw things up. I mean what you gave me was such an incredible gift . So I feel so much pressure because I know it was the biggest commitment possible for you so now I know that I have to deserve it and prove that you that you made the right choice."

"What makes you think you might screw up?"

"Because, that's just who I am. I'm not the commitment type Maura, well I wasn't before I met you. I'm trying my best to change and to be worthy of your trust and love, but I don't think I'll ever good enough for you and when you do something as crazy as giving me you virginity it just scares me because I don't know what to do to top that you know."

"Oh Jane, you don't have to do anything. I didn't sleep with you to have anything in return. I love you and I'm very happy with you, stop putting yourself down thinking you're not good enough for me. I know who you used to be, but you have changed and I love you for it. Please do not feel pressured to do more because of what happened between us. You're already giving me more than I could have ever hoped for ."

"I'm sorry, I'm just scared that you realize that she's much more stable than me and that you should be with her."

"Than I think it's better if we don't see each other for a while."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"No, I'm just saying we need time apart so can think about your behavior."

"Please Maura don't do this, I'm sorry , I'm a jerk . Tell me what you want me to do to fix it and I'll do it, I'll do anything."

"I told you what I want. I want us to take time apart and I want you to think about us carefully and to readjust your behavior. If after what I gave you, you're still unsecured about us and you still don't believe me when I say that I love you and that you're good enough for me, then I don't know what I have to do ."

"I'm sorry please, I…I don't want to loose you."

"Me neither, but I can't be with you if you treat me like your property ."

"I know, you're not, I'm sorry, It won't happen again."

"I hope it won't. I'm going to stay with my parents until my graduation. I sincerely wish you spend those few days to consider our relationship and if you really want it to work." Maura said as she walked towards the door.

"I love you, please don't leave me." Jane begged.

"I love you too. I want you to think about us and to only come to my graduation if you completely trust me and yourself.." Maura said as she walked through the door closing it behind her.

Jane stood there like a complete idiot. She had been jealous before and it never bothered Maura, she actually enjoyed it, but she knew she went too far this time. Not only she went ballistic but she treated Maura like her property by forbidding her to meet her ex. Maura was right she had given her everything and she had no reason to doubt her loyalty or her feelings. Unfortunately even if she had changed over the past 7 months Jane was still feeling unworthy of Maura's love. She knew Maura was right , that their relationship would never work if she continued to put herself down like that. What attracted Maura to Jane was her confidence, the fact that she believed in them from the start, that she fought to prove to her that she had changed, so why was Jane doubting herself now?

**So guys, come more drama...I'm sorry for the delay and I hope it was worth it. Next chapter will be Maura's graduation. Do you think Jane is going to think about what she just did and stop putting herself down?**


	25. Officer down

**Chapter 25 :**

**Officer down.**

For the next few days Jane was miserable. Maura didn't break up with her , she only imposed her some time apart so Jane could think about her behavior. Unfortunately as the pessimistic that Jane was she saw it as a first step towards a future break up. All she wanted was to go to her parents' mansion and crawled at Maura's feet and ask her to forgive her. Unfortunately that's not what Maura wanted. She wanted Jane to re consider their relationship and to decide if she wanted to trust her or if she wanted to remain insecured about their relationship. So for the next few days Jane managed to resist the need to go see Maura, she knew she had until Maura's graduation to make her decision.

To try to get Maura out of her system Jane literally threw herself into work. Luckily her team was about to make a important arrest. For the past few weeks they had been investigating an important group of drug dealers and thanks to the officer that had infiltrated the organization they were about to bust them all today.

As Jane and her partner were in their car inside an old warehouse all Jane could think about was Maura. Usually Jane was 100% focus while at work, she knew her life could depend on her concentration and her ability to make a decision a split second. Unfortunately today all could think about was that Maura was obviously mad at her and that she had every right to be. Maura was right, ever since they started dating she had never gave Jane any reason to doubt her commitment or her loyalty. Thinking about it Jane found it ridiculous that she, the player was scared of Maura leaving her or cheating on her .

"Are you with me Rizzoli?"Detective Morgan said.

"Yes, I'm sorry. How long before we go in?"

"We're waiting for his signal. Remember what I told you, try to stay focus, those guys aren't afraid of us and they won't hesitate to shoot. So if you see one of them aiming at you, you just shot alright?"

"Yes sir. I won't let you down."

"I know. I must say I was a bit reluctant to have a woman with me, but your Lieutenant speaks highly of you and said you were reliable and as strong as a guy. I think he was right, you did a great job until now. Remember a case like this one can make you Detective."

"I know. Looks like he's ready." Jane frowned as she heard the signal.

As soon as they heard the signal Jane and her partner got out off their cars and rushed towards the warehouse.

"BOSTON PD, HANDS IN THE AIR." Detective Morgan said as he entered the building.

After that things went down fast, the drugs dealers started towards Jane and the two Detectives. Bullets were flying around like flies and Jane had to fight for her life like she never did before.

After shooting 5 rounds at the leader she suddenly saw that her partner was on the ground wounded and one of the bad guys aiming at her.

Listening only to her instinct Jane started running towards him and started shooting and she got him twice. Unfortunately as she saw the guy falling on the floor she felt a bullet going through her shoulderand violently fell of the ground as well.

After that things became blurry, all she could see was her partner talking to her holding her hand.

"The ambulance is on its way, come Rizzoli that girlfriend of you will never forgive me it you die come on." Detective Morgan said as her was putting pressure on Jane's shoulder.

"Tell…tell Maura I love her and I'm sorry." Jane manage to say.

As she was flying on the floor it was hard for her to even breath. Her vision was blurry and the pain to her shoulder was excruciating, not to mention her head was bleeding from the fall.

"You're going to tell her yourself. You hear that the Ambulance is hear, hang on a little longer."

At the other side of town Maura was at her parents' house rehearsing her the speech she was suppose to give at her graduation. After working on it for weeks, she was still not confident enough to say it without looking at her notes and the fact that she couldn't stop thinking doubt Jane certainly didn't help.

For the past few days Maura had been beating herself up for being so hard on Jane.

On one hand she knew she never did anything to make Jane doubt her loyalty and her commitment and knew that she couldn't accept that Jane treated like her property. On the other hand she knew that Jane had everything reasons to doubt herself and her ability to make her happy. She may have had dozens of lovers but she never had a serious relationship before and she was still adjusting and trying to understand the dynamic of a committed relationship.

As Maura was sitting on her desk thinking about Jane, she could hear her mother rushing towards her bedroom.

"Maura!" Constance said trying to catch her breath.

"Mother, you look out of breath what's going on?" Maura asked as she stood up and walked towards the door.

"You…you left your cell phone in the library, so I picked it up. There was an accident, Jane has been shot."

"Oh God, no!"Maura said feeling her heart almost bursting out of her chest.

At that precise moment Maura as the doctor that she was started to imagine the worse. She started to thinking of all the body parts that weren't protected by her Kevlar vest and the damage that a bullet could cause to those body parts.

"She's alive Maura, she was conscious when they brought her in. Let's go." Constance said as she grabbed Maura's hand who was standing there unable to move.

The next 15 minutes were the longest of Maura's life. Her mother drove as fast as she could and she could see the worry on her daughter's face.

"She's though, she's gonna make it don't worry."

"I pushed her away mother. She was insecure and instead of reassuring her, I left her." Maura said tears streaming down her face.

"I know, but from what you told me Jane is quite vocal and I'm sure you left to avoid an bigger argument that would have made things worse. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back and allow your partner to breath and think ."

"Oh mother, what if she doesn't make it?I can't loose her, she's the one."

"I know she is and you're the one for her as well, she loves you too much to leave you alone. Don't worry."

As she was driving, seeing the distress on her daughter's face Constance realized that Jane was indeed the one. Even if she always knew her daughter was gay at first she thought Jane was only an experiment, that it wouldn't last. But after almost 7 months and after seeing them growing closer everyday to the point where Maura chose to live their luxurious mansion to move in a small one bedroom apartment, Constance finally realized that it was the real deal. Jane was family and she needed to make sure that she received the best medical care possible.

After 15 minutes of driving Maura and her mother finally arrived at the ER.

Maura was familiar with that hospital because she had done most of her rotations there so she knew that Jane was in great hands. Unfortunately that knowledge didn't keep her from entering the ER scared that Jane didn't make it.

"Dr Isles what are you doing here?" The desk clerk said.

"It's…It's Jane, she's been shot. " Maura mumbled whipping the tears off her face with the back of her sleeve.

"Oh, God, she's the police officer that was shot?"

"Yes, where is she?"

"She's in surgery, Dr Corday is operating on her."

"Thank God, Dr Corday is one of the best trauma surgeon there is." Maura explained to her mother.

"Thank God, let's go see her, shall we?"

"Yes."

So Maura and her mother took the elevator the surgical floor where Maura did her surgical rotation the previous year.

"Dr Maura Isles, I'm here for Officer Rizzoli, I believe Dr Corday is operating on her." Maura said to the nurse whom she didn't know.

"Yes, oh, here she comes."

"Dr Corday." Maura let out as she saw the surgeon walking towards her.

"Maura, what are you doing here?Aren't you graduating in two days?"

"Yes, I am, you just operated on Jane Rizzoli right?"

"Yes, do you know her?"

"She's my girlfriend, we live together. How is she?"

"She's in recovery. The bullet penetrated her shoulder and went through. She was loosing a lot of blood when she arrived but I was able to stop the bleeding ."

"Any nerve damage?"

"That's too soon to tell, the bullet was a 40 caliber and did some serious damage to her shoulder, I did everything I could to fix it. We'll know more when she wakes up."

"What kind of consequences the nerve damage might have?" Constance asked.

"She's probably going to have difficulties lifting up her arms, moving her fingers or even closing her fist tight for a while. Hopefully with the appropriate physical therapy the damages shouldn't be permanent."

"We'll make sure she receives the best care possible, thank you Doctor." Maura's mom replied.

"I need to be with her. "

"She's in recovery, she was intubated but she's now breathing on her own, please follow me."

"Can you please call her mother?No better send someone pick her up. If you tell her Jane is in the hospital she's probably kill herself driving here."

"Sure, I will send our driver, now go be with her."

"Thank you."

When Maura entered the room, Jane was lying in a bed with her tube in her mouth and she was plugged to a machine that helped her breath.

"Oh Jane…I'm so sorry." Maura said crying as she sat next to her .

As Maura was talking to Jane telling her how sorry she was she realized that she had been so stupid, that she should have never left like that. She should have stayed and talk about it instead of escaping like that, like a coward.

About an hour later, Maura was still holding Jane's hand talking to her, telling her to hang on that she couldn't leave her like that because she would never be able to leave without her.

"Maura." A familiar voice suddenly called behind her.

"Angela." Maura let out as she stood up and rushed into her mother in law's arms.

"What happened?"

" Jane has been shot, she's stable now now, she should wake up in the next few hours."

"Oh God, I knew this was going to happen, the drug unit, what the hell was she thinking about?" Angela groaned almost cursing her daughter.

"She thought it would help her to make Detective. I was reluctant at first but I agreed, I'm sorry I should have asked her not to accept this job."

"It wasn't your fault. She accepted that job knowing the risks."

"Yes, but she told me she would refuse if I asked her to, but I couldn't I knew how important this opportunity was for her and I didn't want to tai her dream from her."

"I know sweetheart, my Janie is strong, she's going to be alright." Angela said rubbing Maura's back.

"I'm sorry, I'm running your shirt." Maura apologize whipping the tears of her face.

"Don't worry about it. Thank you for sending your driver to pick me up by the way."

"I knew that you would have burn every light to come here if we had called you and I didn't want you to kill yourself, so I asked my mother to send someone, I'm sorry for making such a fuss out of it."

"It was a wonderful gesture, you're right I would have burnt every light if I have been told over the phone that my baby had been shot. You mother told me what the surgeon said, what's your medical opinion, do you agree with Dr Corday?"

"I do, I know that a bullet of that caliber in a shoulder can do some serious nerve damaged to the entire arm. I did my surgical rotation with her, and trust me she's good. I saw her re attached arms and feet with minimal long term effects. I'm sure that if Jane complies with the physical therapy her arm will be as good as new is a few weeks."

"Good, I'm counting on you to help her with that, but you must know she's stubborn an that she's not the easiest person to be with when she's in pain."

"I know, but I can handle it. I will make sure that she's taken care off by the best physical therapist available."

"I know, your mother already made a few calls to arrange her recovery. She wants her to be transferred to a private clinic."

"Yes, the surgical care here are excellent but it's better if her physical rehabilitation is taken care off in a private facility. My family has made some substantial contributions to several facilities so finding her a spot shouldn't be an issue."

"You're the Doctor, you know best. I just hope the Department's insurance will cover it. You know they're not known to have the best medical coverage."

"Don't worry about a thing, I'll take care of it. My Jane deserves the best and I'll make sure she receives the best care in the country." Maura replied kissing the top of Jane's hand.

"You're here, she already has the best." Angela replied rubbing Maura's back.

Being here for Angela was the hardest thing she ever done. As a mother seeing her child hurt is the worse thing that could happen. Jane had been a cop for 3 years now and even if she never got seriously injured before today she regularly came home with bruises and scratches. Angela always knew there was a chance that one day she might receive a call from her Lieutenant telling her that she had been shot in the line of duty. At first it terrified her and she felt compelled to call her every 2 hours to check on her. Fortunately for Jane after a few months she came in contact with a group of mothers and wires of police officers that helped her deal with the fear and anxiety of having a love one in the police.

Unfortunately nothing had prepared her to what she had in front of her : her baby lying in a hospital bed, wounded with possible long term nerve damaged. All she wanted to do was burst into tears but she couldn't : She had to be strong for Maura because she knew Jane would want her to take care of her.

When Jane started to talk to her about Maura Angela instantaneity knew that her daughter was in love, because it was actually the first time she talked about a woman . Over the past 7 months she witnessed her daughter change. She went from being a player who she never thought would settled down to be a devoted girlfriend who would cut herself in half to please Maura. Angela clearly remembered meeting Maura about 4 months ago. She remembered thinking that Maura and her daughter had nothing in common and was a bit skeptical. But after meeting Maura several times she discovered what a wonderful woman she was and started to understand why Jane had fallen in love with her. After seeing them together, talking to each other, looking at each other Angela had no doubt that one day Maura would be a Rizzoli soon and that she would give her grand children. She already loved Maura like a daughter and knew that Jane would want her to take care of her and support her through that terrible event so she did her best to remain strong and positive.

**So guys, what do you think?I had this chapter in a corner of my head for a while and it turned out to be even better than what I expected.:)(yes sometimes I'm actually satisfied with my writing, doesn't happen often though)**

**As always reviews are more then welcome!**


	26. Making up

**Chapter 26:**

**Making up:**

A few hours after getting out of surgery Jane was still unconscious. Maura and Angela were still at her bedside waiting for her to wake up.

After hours of crying and praying Maura fell asleep her head on Jane's bed.

Angela though, even if she was also exhausted did her best to stay awake in case Jane would wake up or God forbid needed assistance.

As she was about to go out to buy a cup of coffee Maura's mom shyly entered the room.

"May I come in?"

"Yes, Maura is sleeping." Angela replied.

"I can see that, I brought you some food and some coffee, I thought you might need it."

"Thank you very much, it's so thoughtful of you. Thank you for everything you're doing."

"Please don't thank me, Jane is family now."

"Just like Maura is family for us." Angela smiled.

"Who knew two women that different would fell in love land would make such a wonderful couple?"

"I know, that's exactly what I said to myself the first time I met Maura. But now when I see them together, the way they look at each other, you can see that they share a rare bond. "

"I agree, seeing two people so young being so in love and so involved and committed to each other is are. You know as parents all we want for our children is to find love and to be fulfilled in what ever career they choose. I think we have nothing to worry about regarding our daughters, they're on the right path to have a wonderful life together."Constance said as she sat next to Angela and the end of Jane's bed.

" I think you're right, of course as mothers our job is never done, but I think we did a pretty good job with our daughters, don't you think?"

"Yes, Maura grew up to be a passionate, smart, ambitious woman and your Jane is probably the most caring, loving and patient person I have ever met, don't get me wrong I love my daughter, but she's not the easiest person to live with. Maura is very lucky to have her. I'm thankful that she fell in love with someone as wonderful as your daughter."

"Thank you, I think Jane is lucky too, Maura is the best thing that ever happened to her. She used to be quite lost and I think she really find herself when she found Maura. God I don't know what I'm gonna do if she doesn't wake up?"

"Please don't say that. Jane is strong and the surgeon said she was out of danger. Just give her some time to rest and I promise you she's going to wake up soon."

"I know, but the surgeon said she might have some long term nerve damages. I know my daughter, being physically diminished is not something that she's going to handle well."

"Angela look at me. I made a few phone calls and I found her a spot in the best physical rehabilitation center in the state. She's going to be taken care off by the best physical therapist there is. I promise you she's going to get back on her feet in no time."

"I know, thank you again."

"Please stop thanking me, as I said Jane is family, I did what was best for her."

As Maura's mom and Angela were talking Jane started to wake up. When she opened her eyes, everything was still blurry. Her throat was burning from the intubation and her shoulder was hurting like hell.

"What happened?" Jane mumbled as she tried to open your eyes.

"Jane!" Maura screamed as she immediately woke up.

"Jane sweetheart you scared us, how are you feeling?" Angela asked.

"I'm okay, have I missed your graduation?" Jane mumbled.

"No you didn't it's in two days, but it's not important, you're back, oh Jane you scared me so much, don't do that ever again." Maura said rushing in her girlfriend's arm.

"I won't. I'm sorry." Jane replied bitting her lip as she felt Maura's head on her wounded shoulder.

"Maura darling I think you're pressuring her shoulder." Maura's mom pointed out.

"Oh, sorry , does it hurt?"

"It does, I can't move my fingers…" Jane said a panicked look in her eyes.

"Don't worry it's perfectly normal, the bullet hit some major nerves in your shoulder, but don't worry with some physical therapy you should regain full usage of your arm and hand in no time."

"I already arranged for you to go in the best physical rehabilitation center of the state, you're going to be just fine." Constance said.

"Thank you Mrs Isles, but I have my personal Doctor, that's if you still want me…"

"Of course I still want you, I love you, I'm sorry for being so hard on you." Maura said as she pressed her lips against Jane's.

"Ouch, that hurts." Jane replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it seems you bite your lips when you fell. I'll take care of it don't worry."

"I know I'm in good hands with you." Jane replied stroking her hair with her fingers.

"Well, I think we should leave you two alone for a while." Constance said pointing the door to Angela.

"Yes, you might use some privacy, I will see you later darling, your father and your brothers will visit you later. " Angela said leaning over to kiss her daughter's forehead.

"I'm sorry I scared you guys like this…."

"Don't apologize from what I heard your saved your partner's life. "

"I did?"

"Yes, I talked to your Lieutenant and it seemed you got shot trying to protect him while he was on the ground unable to move. You're a hero Jane." Mrs Isles said.

"I only did my job Ma'am, he would have done the same thing."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you have each other's back but what you did was brave, you should be proud of yourself, but right now you need to rest."

"Yes Ma'am."

As Maura's mom and Angela were leaving the room Maura and Jane could finally be alone. They had so many they needed to apologize for, so many things they wanted to say to each other.

"Can you forgive me?" Jane asked.

"Of course, I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you, I should have stayed and try to understand your insecurities instead of being stubborn and walking away like that."

"No, I was talking about getting shot, I promised you I would be careful. I'm so sorry."

"I know you didn't run toward that bullet on purpose, you did it to protect your partner. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes, I remember that they started firing at us, after a few minutes I saw him lying on the floor and that guy was aiming at him so I started shooting at him trying to get close to my partner. I don't remember anything else after that."

"Well you were brought it and Dr Corday, who I did my surgical rotation with operated on you. She's the best trauma surgeon there is ."

"Did someone call you?"

"Yes, I left my phone in our library so my mother was the one who took the call thinking it might be important. It was your Lieutenant, apparently I'm the first person on your emergency list."

"Yes, I always knew I would prefer you to be notified before my mother, so you can notify her and calm her down."

"Well, I didn't notify her, I asked my mother to send our driver to pick her up, I didn't want her to hear it over the phone and then kill herself on the road."

"Good thinking, God that hurts." Jane groaned her hand on her shoulder.

"Do you need me to call Dr Corday?She might need to adjust your IV."

"No, I'm good, I want us to talk ."

"Oh Jane, I appreciate it, but there are more important thing right now, you need to rest."

"I'm fine, it hurts but I'm not tired, I do not need to sleep. What I need is to apologize for my behavior. You were right I treated you like my property and that's not the kind of girlfriend I want to be. I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who forbids you to go out and see your friends. I'm sorry, I know I have no reasons to either doubt your loyalty or commitment or the fact that I'm good enough for you. If you're with me I guess it's because I'm worth it, I just have issue believing it. "

"You have to start believing it. I love you Jane, you make me incredibly happy, you are more than I ever dared to dream of. You need to stop putting yourself down like that. You're the only one for me."

"I know sweetie, you're the only one for me too. I don't know what happened you started to talk about our future engagement party and I suppose I freaked out a bit."

"I'm sorry I brought the marriage thing up, I know it's too soon for us to talk about it."

"Yes it's too soon but I want to marry you some day you know that right?"

"No, I don't. We never really talked about it and I know you're not the marrying type…"

"Well I wasn't the relationship type either before I met you, but you changed all that. For the first time in my life I'm actually starting to make plans for the future, and marriage is one of them. When the time is right I'll make an honest woman of you don't worry."

"You shouldn't tell me that, you know I'm going to be be impatient now."

"Then you're going to have to learn to be more patient. You know I love you and that when the time is right, I'll go down on one knee and pop the question, alright?It's going to happen, so don't over think it. "

"You're right, we're still young, we can't rush into this. We should just continue to grow as human beings and as a couple before taking the most important step of our lives. I won't have time to plan a wedding during my residency anyway.."

"Exactly we can totally wait 5 years."

"I was joking, Don't you dare making me wait 5 years!"

"Alright, please stop making me laugh it hurts too much."

"I'm sorry, I just love you so much and I thought I was going to loose you."

"So did I, I really thought I was going to loose you when you left. I know I'm not perfect and that I went a little cave woman on you but for the past 7 months every time you had doubts or felt unsecured I was there to comfort and to reassure you. I don't want to make you feel bad about it but I needed you and you just left me…"

"I know and I trust me when I say that I feel terrible about it. You're right you've always been here for me when I needed you. God knows how insecure I was for the first 6 months of our relationship , actually I still am, but you never gave up on me, you keep on telling me you loved me, every single day. I'm sorry I didn't help you. "

"I know you're sorry, but I hope you understand that I have insecurities. I know that I've always tried to be the strong and confident one in our relationship because that's what you needed me to be, but I'm scared Maura, being with you, picturing a future with you is scary."

"I know, It's scary for me two and I promise I won't let you down again if you ever need me."

"I trust you. Come on, show me that beautiful smile."

"If you promise me you won't ever leave me."

"I would never leave you, you should know that."

"I'm a Doctor Jane, I know that there's nothing you can to against a 40 caliber."

"I know but I'm tough and I will always fight to stay alive because of you. When I was lying down, I could barely hear or see anything because I hit my head so hard. All I could picture was your face and even if it hurt so bad and even if it would have been easier to just give up I didn't. I pictured your beautiful face and knew that I couldn't leave you like that, especially after the way we fought like time I saw you. You will always be my reason to keep on fighting and to come home safely, I promise."

"I know and I knew from the start what I was getting myself into when I agree to start dating a cop, but I didn't expect it to be so hard. I'm sorry I should have been stronger."

"Hey, I am the one who should be apologizing. You're right I'm a cop and you knew that I might get wounded one day, but being prepared doesn't take the pain and the fear away ."

"I know, would it be too much of me to ask you not to go back to the drug unit?"

"No, I won't go back, you were right it's not worth it. Having my Detective shield isn't worth risking my life and risking loosing you. I'll make Detective another way. "

"You saved a life and you took care of several heavily armed drug dealers, that might help you with your shield."

"Maybe . To be honest with you, I don't care. All I want right now is go home and start working on my hand and after that I want us to take some vacation before you start your residency, would you like that?"

"I think that's a terrific idea. You nerves will need several weeks to heal and physical therapy is going to take at least a month but after that you'll be as good as new and I would love nothing more than to celebrate your recovery away from Boston."

"Alright. Do you think I'll be well enough for your graduation?"

"I don't know, if you rest a lot, you might be able to get discharged for a few hours just for the ceremony."

"How long am I going to have to stay here?"

"That's not up to me Jane. I'm not your Doctor, you're going to have to talk to Dr Corday and trust me she's though. She won't discharge you until she's 100% confident that you can go home."

"That's great, I hate hospitals."

"Well, I'm sorry Jane, but don't worry I'll stay with you and I'm sure you're going to receive many visitors."

And for the nest two days Maura stayed with Jane nights and days. She sat in that chair next to her bed and watched her sleep beating herself up for being so childish.

She took Jane for granted and got used to her being so confident and strong that she failed to see when she needed her. Almost loosing her made her realize that she needed to stop acting like a spoiled little girl. Jane had given her everything and had never failed her once in 7 months and it was time for her to start acting like an adult and stop putting the weight on their relationship on Jane's shoulders. Jane was human and was probably as scared to be in a committed relationship as she was, she just never showed it because Maura needed her to be strong. Now Jane needed Maura to help her and support her during her recovery and Maura was determined to be the best personal Doctor possible and to take good care of her.

**SO guys what do you think?I know Jane wouldn't be so talkative after being shot, that it's not realistic but I wanted them to talk. I think that they both feel guilty and Jane despite de pain needed to clarify things and always reviews are welcome, the more feedback I receive the more inspired I am!**


	27. Maura's graduation

**Chapter 27 :**

**Maura's graduation:**

After two days in the hospital Jane felt slightly better. She was so determined to go Maura's graduation that she did everything her Doctor asked her to do without complaining even once. She was obviously still in pain and wasn't able to lift up her arm at all, but started to slowly started to regain sensitivity in her fingers.

Today was Maura's graduation and Jane had been authorized to leave the hospital for the duration of the ceremony.

"Come on Maura, we're gonna get late, your parents are waiting downstairs!" Jane yelled waited for Maura who was still in the bathroom.

"Alright I'm coming." Maura replied looking at herself one last time in the mirror above the sink of Jane's hospital bathroom.

Standing in front of that mirror Maura was nervous. As she was about to graduate at the top of her class, she was asked to make a speech and she wasn't sure it was good enough. She knew that her parents, Jane's parents would be there and didn't want to disappoint them. After spending an hour in the bathroom Maura took a deep breath and finally stepped into Jane's room.

"Wow, you look amazing how long before we can have sex again?"

"Jane!" Maura yelled as she tried to put her earrings.

"What?You look really hot in that dress not to mention your hair that by itself calls for sex. "

"I'm flattered and I'm glad that you feel well enough to desire me like that." Maura said as she readjusted Jane's shirt.

"I even desire you in my sleep babe, it's not a bullet that could stop me from wanting you. So are you ready?"

"No, I'm not my speech is far from being perfect."

"It doesn't need to, just speak from your heart and I'm sure you're going to be fine, I'm so proud of you and so are your parents. "

"I know, I think I did relatively well."

"Relatively well?You graduated at the top of your class, you did exceptionally well and now I get to call you Doctor. I even got you a little something. " Jane said handing a huge package to Maura.

"Oh Jane, you shouldn't have…"

"Yes I did, it's something practical that every ME needs to go to crime scenes, open it."

"Okay." Maura replied unwrapping the large gift.

When she finally unwrapped the paper she found herself with a black leather bag in her hands.

"You like it?"

"Oh Jane, it's gorgeous, this leather is remarkable, it was clearly hand made. It must have cost you a small fortune." Maura said pressing her lips against Jane's.

"Don't worry about it. Our ME recommended me the store where he bought his . When I came in I saw it and I knew it was made for you, now you look like a Doctor."

"Yes I do thank you, thank you for everything, you can't imagine how important your support is to me. I know the next 4 years aren't going to be easy for us. The hours will be long and we won't see each other as often."

"We'll make things work. It's only 5 years after that things should get easier right?"

"Yes once I finish my fellowship and found a position I will have more time. As you know the hours for an ME are long but nothing compare to a residency."

"Than we're just going to have to be very imaginative and use every occasion we'll have to be together, I'm not worried."

"Me neither. Are we ready?"

"Yes we are."Jane said as she painfully stood up.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, don't worry our parents are going to look after me ."

"I know, come on let's go my parents are waiting."

An hour later, Angela, Franck Sr along with Jane and Maura's parents were sitting at the front row waiting for the ceremony to beging. The heat was unbearable and her shoulder was hurting like hell, but Jane knew that Maura needed her support so she did her best to hide her pain knowing that she would only have to hang on a few more hours.

"I can't believe my daughter in law is a Doctor." Angela enthusiastically said clapping her hand.

"Ma!"Jane objected.

"What?It's not bad luck to say that she is a Doctor now."

"It's not that. We're not even engaged yet, please don't call her that. She's already expecting me to propose. I don't need you to encourage her."

"Alright…."Angela frowned.

"Speaking of marriage please tell us you are planning on making an honest woman off our daughter." Maura's dad said taking Jane by surprise.

"Yes Sir, but Maura and I talked about it and we both agree that we're not ready to get married. What happened a few days ago proves that we still need to work on our relationship and to grow as adults before we can consider getting married."

"I appreciate your maturity. Getting married is easy, but being married is a challenge, you have to work it every day and I agree when you say you both still need to grow before being mature enough to take that step."

"I agree Sir, not to mention that I want to make Detective before we get engaged."

"Why is that?" Maura's mom asked.

"Well I know that Maura likes our apartment but I know that once we get engaged and then married she's going to want us to buy a house where we can raise our future children. Unfortunately I can't do that on my current salary Ma'am. I know Maura has money but I want to be able to take care of her and It will be easier for me to do that once I make Detective."

"I understand and I admire the way you and Maura have dealt with the money situation. Most people would have let Maura pay for everything and would have enjoy living a luxurious life."

"That's not me Ma'am. Actually my first intention was to pay for everything but Maura insisted that we shared everything but we both believe that the base of every relationship is equality. Things have going really well since we decided to share everything and I want to keep things that way, but I still want to take care of your daughter."

"Well I'm glad things are working smoothly between you and my daughter, just remember to come see me before proposing to my daughter."

"Yes Sir. I wouldn't propose to Maura without asking for your permission first, it's a matter of respect."

"Would you please stop trying to scare Jane?You know she respects you and our daughter, when the time comes she'll do things the appropriate way."

"Yes, my daughter is very old fashion sometimes."Angela laughed impressed by how respectful and polite Jane was with her future in laws.

"Ma!Damn!Remind me why I asked you to come?"

"Because you didn't want to be alone with Maura's parents…"

"Gee Ma, can you be louder? I'm sorry ma'am, my mother is just teasing me. I don't mind being here with you. Maura thought it would be a good opportunity for our two families to spend some time together."

About half an hour later the ceremony started and Maura made her speech. For 15 minutes Jane sat there looking up at the woman she loved giving her speech telling the audience what a Doctor meant to her. Listening to her Jane was surprised by her eloquence. Maura always seemed so shy especially in public but standing in front of her class mates and their families talking about what she loved the most she seemed so confident and happy.

After 4 years of college and 4 years of medical school Maura was finally a Doctor. As far as she could remember that has always been her dreams, helping people, cure them. Unfortunately Maura had never been comfortable being among other human beings but started high school she met this great science teacher who told her everything about forensic science and who encourage her to become a medical examiner. After considering it Maura realized it was the perfect way to be a Doctor using her passion for science without having to be with living human beings. She loved the idea of speaking for the dead, of being the last person to be able to help them, to give them justice. After working all her life Maura had finally been accepted in one of the best residency program of the country. As Maura was making her speech she looked down at Jane the entire time, probably looking for support in her eyes and to make sure she wasn't in any pain. As she finished her speech the entire Rizzoli-Isles clan stood up and applauded her.

After receiving her diploma Maura didn't stay with her classmates, instead she went directly to see Jane and her family.

"How was my speech?" Maura asked as she walked towards her enthusiastic and proud family.

"It was perfect, I'm so proud of you…"Jane painfully said trying to stand up from her chair.

"I'm sorry that you had to sit under that sun for so long, how do you feel?"Maura asked helping Jane stand up.

"I'm a bit tired ,but I'm fine."

"You have some fever, let's get you back to the hospital." Maura said her hand on Jane's forehead.

"What about your party?Your parents spent a lot of time and energy to organize it."

"Most of people who are going to be there are their friends not mine, they won't even notice that I'm not there, trust me."

"It's your day, I'm sorry for ruining it."

"You're not, actually you're saving it. I can't tell how much I dislike being around my parents' friends. Come on let's get you back in bed. Mother I will be taking Jane back to the hospital now."

"Sure darling, your father and I are so proud of you. You're going to be a great Doctor and you're going to help so many people." Constance Isles said a tear streaming down her cheek.

Seeing her mother crying was very unsettling for Maura. She never saw her mother crying or showing the smallest emotion before.

"Thank you mother, but I still have my residency."

"I know but I'm still proud of you."Maura's mom said opening her arms welcoming her daughter.

Feeling her mother's pride and affection Maura felt this must have been the best moment of her life. She always worked so hard to impress her mother, to make her proud and to live up to her name and for the first time her mother actually showed her that she succeeded.

"Alright darling please let our daughter breath, I need a hug too." Maura's dad joked trying to pull them appart.

"Dad. " Maura sighed.

"I'm proud of you princess, your mother is right you're going to be a great Doctor, but for now I think your current patient really needs to go back to bed." Mr Isles said pointing Jane who was obviously struggling to stand up.

"I'm fine Sir."

"He's right let's get you back in bed." Maura said wrapping her arms around Jane to support her back to their car.

"Alright, alright, I won't fight you on this Doctor, I'm tired, but I promise you that as soon as I get discharged we are going to celebrate."

"I know but it can wait. We have the rest of our lives to celebrate."

As they arrived in Jane's room Maura undressed Jane and put her back to bed.

"You still have some fever let me call your nurse." Maura said pulling up the blanket trying to make Jane comfortable.

"I'm fine how about you crawl in bed with me?That will make me feel better."

"Alright but if you're not better in an hour I will call the nurse."

"Deal, come on, climb in bed with me." Jane said pulling Maura on the bed.

Holding Maura in her arms Jane couldn't help but thinking about the conversation she had with Maura's parents. It seemed that every one was expecting her to propose including Maura, the only problem was she wasn't ready. Not that she didn't love Maura because she did and she knew she was the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with. Unfortunately Jane didn't feel mature enough to get married. She knew that Maura's dad was right, marriage is a journey and you have to fight for it every day. Jane knew that she was slightly more responsible since she met Maura and that she had made drastic changes in her life style but she still felt that she needed to grow more before being ready to get married. She was just hoping that Maura would understand and wouldn't think that she didn't want to marry her or that she didn't think they were going to make it.

Being in Jane's arms Maura felt that her life just started. Even if she still have to do her residency she was finally her Doctor and things with finally better with Jane. She knew that she had everything she had always dreamed about : she had been accepted in the best residency program of the country, she was in love and was living with the love of her life. Everything was perfect but she knew that the next 5 years would be a test for their relationship. She knew that Jane had made some compromises to be able to spend more time with her but she knew it wouldn't be that easy for her. She knew that she would have to work long hours and that it would probably cause some tensions in their relationship. Maura knew that Jane would be understanding and would do her best to support her and accomodate her but she also knew that they had a very symbiotic relationship and that being away from each other wouldn't be something that either of them would handle well. Luckily Maura was confident that things would work out. After almost loosing Jane she knew that if a bullet couldn't separate them up nothing could.

**So guys, I'm sorry for neglecting this story. I hope that you're still interesting in this story, that you haven't forgotten all about it!I have plans for them. Feel free to give me some ideas if you want!Thanks!**


	28. Letting go

**Chapter 27 :**

**Letting go :**

A week after getting shot Jane was finally released from the hospital. As Maura still had a couple of free months before starting her residency she was able to stay home with her. At first Jane really enjoyed being taken care of by her mom and Maura. She enjoyed not having to get out of bed to take her meals, not having to do the laundry or the cleaning, but most importunately she enjoyed spending quiet time with her wonderful girlfriend. Unfortunately after a week of being treating as an invalid Jane started to be impatient and as she felt stronger tried to make Maura see she didn't need her to take of her anymore, but Maura was stubborn and refused to let her lift a finger.

That morning Jane woke up to find Maura literally sitting on top of her looking down at her.

"Good morning my hero." Maura smiled bending over to kiss her recovering girlfriend.

" Good morning Doctor." Jane replied sliding her fingers under Maura's top reaching for her breast.

"No, no, not yet." Maura objected pulling Jane's from her top.

"Come on Maura, you can not tease me like this and expect me not to make a move." Jane frowned sitting up in her bed.

"I know, but you're still recovering and do not wish to see you hurt."

"It's been two weeks since I got shot and 3 weeks since we had sex, I can't take it anymore especially when you're literally sitting on top of me flashing me with those gorgeous breasts of yours." Jane said as she strongly grabbed Maura's waist showing her she was still strong and capable of taking charge.

"I never said I wanted to keep you waiting longer, I just said I didn't want to see you hurt, now would you please relax and let me take care of you." Maura said pushing her backward on her pillow.

As Jane's head hit her pillow she immediately felt Maura's lips on her neck pressing against her skin and her hands sliding under her tongue. At first Jane didn't object and closed her eyes letting Maura wonder her tongue on her chest while wandering her finger tips on her firm stomach. As Maura was dangerously dragging her tongue on her bare belly all the way towards her fold Jane understood what Maura had in mind.

Maura and Jane had been together for 8 months now and had being having sex for 2 months but Maura had never gone down on her. At first Maura was shy and could barely touch her, so Jane took it upon her to gently teach her how to relax and enjoy her touch. As the weeks passed Maura became more and more confortable with her own body and started to open herself more and finally made love to Jane. Jane remembered the first time she felt Maura's fingers inside of her : feeling her girlfriend filling her up was the more incredible feeling she ever had the chance to experience. Of all the women she had been with Maura was the first who really knew how to touch her, where to touch her and what words to whisper in her ears to turn her on. But even if they had made tremendous progress and were enjoying each other's body a lot Maura had never tasted Jane. They talked about it and even if she really wanted to pleasure Jane that way Maura was scared of not being able to satisfy Jane that way so they decided to wait until she felt more comfortable with her own skills. Apparently today was the day Maura finally started to trust herself to finally take that step. Even if Jane had dreamed about this moment for months she felt extremely uncomfortable and even if she had been able to avoid the subject up until now she suddenly felt it was time for her to reveal the truth to Maura.

"Maura sweet heart what are you doing?" Jane mumbled petrified at the the view of her girlfriend's head between her legs.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"Maura asked continuing kissing Jane's belly.

"Babe, please stop we need to talk about something."Jane objected lowering her top covering her belly.

"I know what you're going to say and don't worry I'm ready. I know you've been expecting this for a long time and I'm grateful for your patience, but now it's time."

"I...Don't know how to say this."Jane said sitting in bed lifting her legs against her chest.

"Are you scared that I might not satisfy you." Maura asked rising her eyebrows.

"No no, of course not. I know it's gonna be great, it's just that I have never done this before." Jane shamefully admitted awaiting Maura's reaction.

"I don't understand. "

" I never allowed a woman to go down on me before. Yes I slept with a lot of girls and I allowed them to do all sorts of things to me but not this."

"Oh I see, may I ask why?"Maura asked parting Jane's legs moving closer to her.

"I just...I just always thought it was something intimate you know like saying I love you and I didn't want to share it with just any girl. I'm sorry I never told you."

"Don't apologize. I think it's very romantic of you that you didn't want to give yourself to any woman. Actually I found myself extremely turned on by the thought of being the first to explore your folds with my tongue."

"Now you know how I felt knowing I was your first." Jane joked.

"Yes I do, now please relax and let me make you come in my mouth harder than you ever did." Maura whispered in Jane's ear before pushing her backward on her pillow.

For the past 8 months Maura always thought that Jane had experienced everything in bed and never thought she could find something new to pleasure her. One of the reason she wasn't ready yet was because she always thought that she couldn't possibly match against all the women Jane had slept with who had much more experience than her. Luckily for her there was something that Jane never tried before and the idea of Jane keeping herself from experiencing such a pleasure just because of her moral values aroused her even more. Maura always thought that before she met her Jane had slept with half the lesbians in town and beyond and that she tried everything that was offered to her and that she did all that without having the smallest feeling for those women. Up until now she thought they were completely opposite in their moral value, but she now knew that Jane was actually as romantic as her and that there was one thing she wasn't willing do give any woman until she met her and knowing she was going to be the first to explore her folds filled her with a pride and excitement.

So that morning Jane allowed a woman to explore her for the first time. Now she could actually feel the same way Maura felt the first time they had sex : she felt excited but nervous and vulnerable. Luckily Jane trusted and loved Maura and she knew that she made the right decision waiting for her. Over the past years Jane had slept with as many women as she could and tried every possible thing that was offered her but had never loved of trusted anyone with that particular sexual act. As she was felt Maura's tongue slowly kissing her inner thighs all the way to her already swollen clit Jane realized that Maura was the woman she had long hoped for. For the past 2 weeks Maura had taken care of her, cooked for her, help her get dressed, shower and even cut her meat. Jane had never allowed any one to see her weak and never reached out to anyone for help. With Maura it was different though, she wasn't scared of showing her weaknesses and ask her for help when she needed. Jane always thought that not showing her weaknesses made her strong in the eyes of other people but being with Maura she realized that what made her stronger was being able to reach out and to trust Maura. Being with Maura who now knew all her secrets and flaws Jane felt strong than she ever did, knowing that Maura loved her despite her flaws and her past and most importantly despite the mistakes she had made since they were together. So that morning Jane finally allowed someone in, literally without rising any objection or desire to control the situation. That morning as Jane allowed Maura to thrust her tongue inside and out of her, she finally felt in perfect harmony with Maura . And as she felt the most intense orgasm striking entire body all the way down to Maura's mouth, Jane finally felt liberated of her past and her mistakes and felt finally able to look towards the future, a future that she could not picture without Maura.

**So guys, I hope you're not desapointed. I thought it was a more original and romantic way of describing this moment rather than just giving graphic details.**

**Please tell me if you liked it or not. It always helps me to have your feedback. Apologies on the lack of updates, I shall work harder to please you all.**


	29. Jane's reward

**Chapter 29:**

**Jane's reward :**

Lying on her back looking down at her beautiful girlfriend Jane's head was still spinning, she could barely breath .

"That was…."

"Incredible wasn't it?" Maura smiled wiping her lips with her tongue enjoying the last drop that was streaming down her girlfriend's folds.

"Yes, God, you're ….Are you sure you've never done this before?"

"No, but my knowledge of the human anatomy is a certain advantage for me." Maura replied resting her head on Jane's chest.

"It's more than that, you really do love me."

"You had doubts?" Maura frowned rising her head.

"No, I just have trouble realizing it."Jane sighed running her fingers through her girlfriend's curly hair.

"I know how you feel, I still have trouble believing it myself. I never thought I could love someone so much and be loved in return and be so happy. "

"So there's nothing that's missing in your life that you make you even happier?''

"No, I'm 110% happy, there is nothing I could wish for, really."

"Not even a ring on that finger?"

"I don't need to have a ring on my finger to know that I'm yours and that you're mine. We belong together, I can feel it in every single vein of my body every time we make love. I don't need more. When the time comes I'll be more than happy to become your wife but until that time comes I'm perfectly happy to be your girlfriend."

"Okay…How about some vacations?"

"Do you think you're ready?It's only been 2 weeks."

"Yeah I think we should…" Jane started before hearing something knocking on their door.

"Oh, that must be your mother , come one we'll talk about our holidays later."Maura replied bouncing out of bed.

"How about we open the door naked?Maybe that would make her call before coming?"Jane groaned trying to put her shirt on.

"She's your mother, she doesn't need an invitation to visit us. Get dress I'll go open the door."

"Okay…."Jane sighed.

The truth was Jane knew how worried she made her and her mother and she knew she had no right to complain when her mother decided to visit.

Actually she couldn't complain to have a mother like Angela, because seeing how distant Maura's mother was with her she felt grateful to have an overwhelming Italian Mother.

When Jane finally arrived in the living room she was surprised not to find her mother but her Lieutenant.

"Chief." Jane mumbled shocked that he would vist her at home.

"Rizzoli."

"Please have a seat." Maura offered inviting him to seat on their couch.

"So Rizzoli how are you feeling?"

"I'm good Sir, my shoulder is still a bit painful but I regained full sensitivity in my fingers and I can lift up my arm a little bit more every day."

"That's good, just take it one step at the time, no one is expecting you to fully recover in just 2 weeks."

"I know Sir, I know I can't rush recovery that I would just take the risk to hurt myself more. I'm taking my time."

"Looks like dating a Doctor made you more raisonable."

"Yes Sir, not that I have a choice though Maura makes sure I don't take things to fast."

"Well I'm glad to hear that and once you come back we can talk about your future."

"Actually, Maura and I talked about it and please don't take this the wrong way, I'm really grateful that you gave me a chance to go into that unit, but…"

"But you do not wish to come back?"

"No Sir, it's been a wonderful experience and I learned a lot during the past 3 months but I almost died and even If I take my career very seriously, I can't put my family and the woman I love through this again." Jane said holding Maura's hand squeezing it as hard as she could knowing that she might have just flushed her career in the the toilet.

"You realize that except computer crime every single division of our department is dangerous."

"I know, but I think that the drug control units it a little bit more dangerous then the others including homicide because things are a little bit more improvised you know. You put a lot of trust and confidence in me and I understand you're disappointed and if wish to transfer me to computer crime, I'll accept it."

"Don't be ridiculous. A cop with your mind, your courage and your sense of duty is rare, I was actually thinking to transfer you to homicide as a Detective."

"Excuse me?" Jane hissed almost choking on her own saliva.

"Yes, I know your goal has always been an homicide Detective and I think that for the past 3 years in the streets and also in the drug control unit you proved to me that you deserved a chance and your Detective shield. You would still have to take the exam but I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"No Sir, I'll study hard, I won't disappoint you."

"Good, how about you take some vacations with that nice Doctor of yours and use your recovery time to study for the exam and then when you're fully recovered come to see me so we can talk okay?"The Lieutenant said standing up.

"Yes Sir." Jane replied shaking her hand .

"Dr Isles it was very nice to meet you, once you finished your residency, come to see me, we can always used someone as brilliant as you in our medical examiner's office."

"Yes Sir, thank you."

Closing the door behind her boss Jane couldn't believe what had just happened. Obviously she knew that her time in the drug control unit would help her career but she never thought it would only take 3 months for her to achieve her goal.

"Wow, did you hear that baby?"

"Yes I did. Congratulations Detective."Maura said pressing her lips against hers.

Knowing that Jane was finally going to be a Detective was somehow turning her on. Maura like a lot of women enjoyed dating a hero, someone brave who could make er feel safe and there was something ...rather hot in dating a cop.

"I still have to pass the exam…"Jane smiled feeling Maura's fingers on her belly.

"I'll help you study just like you helped me study remember?"Maura replied unzipping her pants dragging her back towards their bedroom.

As they entered their bedroom Maura felt in a "celebration mood" and gently pushed Jane on their bed before climbing on tip of her.

"Yeah, wow I can't believe this is actually happening." Jane said palming her face with her hand.

"That's what you wanted right?"

"Yes but I've only be on the job for 3 years Maura, no body makes Detective that fast, especially not women."

"You 're not just anybody…"

"So you're okay with this?"

"Of course I am, you've been working hard for this, you deserved that promotion."

"Maybe, maybe not, but I mean, we never really talked about what happened…."

"We did, right after you woke up, don't you remember?"

"Yes but we were both in shock and in pain. I think we need to have a serious conversation about my career and what it means to be a cop's wife, I mean girlfriend."

"Alright. "Maura sighed sliding on Jane side knowing that Jane wasn't in a celebration mood.

"Well, I'm sorry for what happened, I supposed I didn't think, my partner was in trouble and I actually didn't have time to think, so I just acted you know. I know it was stupid ."

"It was, but you're a cop, it's who you are and cops protect each other. I knew the risks when we started dating you. I knew that one day someone might call to tell me you were wounded or worse."

"I know sweetheart."

"No, I don't think you know, when you're late and the phone rings, my heart just stop beating because my first thought is that something happened to you. Waiting for you to come home at night is excruciating, I go to bed, I read, watch tv, call your mother , I do everything I can to keep my mind away from the worse, but it's hard."

"I know you can't sleep until I'm home safe and I promise you that once I join Homicide I'll always do everything to come home safely. You won't believe it but I was pretty reckless before I met you."

"I know, but now you found a reason to come home safe."

"Yes exactly so just trust me."

"I trust you, but I won't let you go back to work until I'm confident you're fully recovered, that would be reckless."

"Exactly and what would really help me get better is a nice vacation."

"Where would you like to go?"

"What ever, I just want to spend a couple weeks away with my beautiful girlfriend."

"You're the wounded hero, you deserve to choose."

"Yeah but we all know that we're gonna end up going where you want."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means that there is nothing I can refuse you darling."

"Good, I thought we could go somewhere private, away from civilization…"

"Oh, okay…"

"Yes, I'd rather not be to close to other human beings to do what I'm planning to make you do to me during those two weeks…"

"Dr Isles…"

"What?There are a lot of thing we haven't experienced yet and what seeing you in that hospital bed taught me is that we can loose everything in a blink of an eye so it's important to make the most of every day."

"I agree, you seem so different lately, I mean ever since we moved it together. You look more confident especially sexually speaking…"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I just miss the shy Maura, but the nasty in bed Maura is very charming don't worry."

"I'm glad you like her because you're going to see plenty of her…"Maura teased rolling back on top of her.

As the two women started cuddling , Jane started to worry. She had worked hard, harder then any male cop in the city to earn her Detective shield and two weeks ago she almost died putting an entire drug gang down trying to protect two of her partners . But she knew that being a Detective was a huge responsibility, that she would have rookies under her command and that she would have to show that she could be a leader. Also she remembered telling Maura that they could start thinking about getting married once she made Detective and knowing that Maura never forgot anything she knew she would remind her of that promise. Yes Jane had more than she ever thought she deserved and more she ever dared to wish for, but was she ready for all that?

For now she tried not to think about it, all she wanted was to go away with Maura and enjoy their vacation time together and from what Maura just implied she knew it was going to be memorable.

**So guys, I know lack of updates on this story, thank you for sticking around for it!**

**What do you think about Jane's promotion?Does she deserve it?Is it too soon?Is she gonna freak out in front of so much responsibilities?Is Maura going to bring the "marriage thing" Up?As always reviews are welcome, and ideas as well!**


	30. Experiment

**Chapter 32:**

**Experiment:**

About two days later Jane and Maura finally decided where they wanted to go on holidays. As Maura needed the place to be quiet and far from civilization they settled down for a cabin her family owned that was situated in Montreal, Canada.

Arriving at the cabin who actually was more like a freaking palace for Jane the two women finally felt that their holidays had started.

Jane was feeling much better and could lift up her arm a bit more every day.

At first, she felt humiliated having to count on Maura for everything. For the first few days she couldn't even cut her own meal or button her own shirt, she had to relay on Maura for many little things and she hated it. After getting shot Jane realized that she could have died without ever having the opportunity to apologize to Maura for her behavior. All she remembered was Maura slamming the door behind her after she forbid her to see her friend. Her pride and jealousy almost ruined the best thing that ever happened to her and she wasn't going to let that happen again. So for the past 2 weeks Jane let Maura take care of her and actually started to enjoyed having the young Doctor at her service.

That evening, to celebrate their first day of vacation Jane turned off the lights, spread some candles around them and opened a bottle of expensive wine so they could enjoy a romantic dinner .

Lying on the floor next to the fireplace cuddling, Jane and Maura were enjoying a perfect romantic night.

"That place is really amazing, thanks for bringing me here ."

"I told you would like it. I think we should really make the best of this vacation, God knows when we're going to be able to get away again."

"You're right, between me making Detective and you started your residency we probably won't have time for holidays."

"Well I think time away is essential to any good relationship, so I think we should agree to go away for two weeks at least once a year."

"You're right. I think if we don't want our new schedules to affect our relationship that it's important to make time for ourselves. "

"Exactly, we love each other but if we don't spend sufficient time together we're just going to grow apart and none of us want that. I think we should be able to manage romantic nights and romantic week ends once in a while right?"

"Absolutely, I have seen so many cops loosing their wives because they put the job first and I won't let that happen to us. I love you and as much as my career matters to me you matter more, so I'll always make sure we spend time together. I hope you believe me."

"I do. I know both our careers are going to play a huge part in our lives but I believe we love each other enough to make it work."

"Absolutely."

Lying there on the couch in Jane's arms Maura started to see their lives coming into place the way they always dreamed it : They had just moved in their first flat together, Jane was finally going to be an Homicide Detective and she was going to start the residency of her dreams, the one she worked so hard for her entire life.

Maura felt that their adult lives were just starting and even if she felt blessed by everything they had accomplished together Maura still felt like there was something missing, something that she knew she ready for but didn't know if Jane was ready as well. But right now she didn't want to think about it or bring up the subject. She had plans for their vacations and was determined to execute every single one of them.

"Fancy some dessert?"

"Yeah, I'd love some of that Canadian pie we bought at the store." Jane replied rubbing her belly.

"I wasn't talking of that kind of dessert…" Maura said, her voice slightly deeper as she climbed on Jane's lap almost flashing her breasts in her face.

"Oh, well…" Jane mumbled her hands on Maura's hips.

"The button of your jean is already opened, that's a sign."Maura said leaning over gently kissing her.

"That's because I ate way to much of that canadian food, you can say anything about canadian but they know about food."

"Well I think we need to burn all those calories and I know the perfect for that." Maura murmured bitting Jane's earlobe.

Feeling Maura's tongue tickling her ear lobe, sliding all the way down her neck Jane immediately felt turned on.

"If you say so, let me take you to bed."

"We don't need to, let's do this right here right now." Maura said pushing Jane back sliding her hand in her pants.

"Alright..." Jane mumbled swallowing hard.

"Actually there is something I would like us to try, something we've never done before."Maura said taking a deep breath as she pulled her hand of Jane's pants.

"Alright, what ever it is you can tell me alright." Jane replied pulling Maura closer to her.

"Thank you. Remember the first time we made love?I told you that I was rather tight..."

"Yes, I remember, I really wanted to feel you from the inside but it was our first time and I knew you were nervous and that I would have hurt you we if even tried to I didn't insist."

"And I'm grateful you didn't, but now I feel more comfortable and I really, really want to try." Maura said guiding her hand under her dress.

"Alright, but I'm taking you to bed." Jane said standing up her arms strongly wrapped around Maura.

Feeling Jane carrying her towards their bedroom Maura's heart was hammering her chest. She knew Jane loved her with all her heart and that would be gentle, but she was still scared of feeling pain. Even if denied herself of experiencing sexual pleasure with Jane for a long time, Maura knew her body and she wasn't joking when she told Jane she was tight, she really was. Unfortunately all she could do was trust Jane and try to relax. She actually really wanted this, she knew Jane wanted it to, that even if she enjoyed the way they made love, she knew that she wanted things to be more passionate and so did she.

Carrying Maura towards their bedroom Jane was nervous as well because even if they had made terrific progress in the bedroom maura was still a bit shy and she really didn't want to hurt her. The truth was that Jane was waited for that moment for a long time. Obviously she loved tasting Maura and wandering her hands on her gorgeous body but she really, really wanted to feel her from the inside. She knew that the hardest part would be to take things slow, knowing that if she rushed things she could hurt her and traumatizing Maura so much that she might never want to try again.

After stripping down and sliding under the heavy duvet Maura and Jane were now lying in bed on their sides looking at each other.

"God you're beautiful." Jane whispered roaming her eyes on Maura's body.

"So are you." Maura said guiding Jane's hand on her hips.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I am, I trust you Jane, I love you."

"I love you too baby." Jane replied pulling Maura closer to her.

Determined to take things slow Jane started to gently kiss Maura while wandering her hands on her body. She started to wander her finger tips on her shoulders, all the way down to her lower back before switching to her belly.

At first Maura was nervous, Jane could feel it, but slowly she started to relax and started to caress Jane's body as well.

Feeling Maura getting more comfortable Jane started to blow kisses on her chin, her chest, dragging her tongue all the way to her already erected nipples.

"God, I love your breasts." Jane whispered drawing circles around Maura's nipples feeling her lover's chest rising higher and falling more slowly at every stroke.

"And I love your tongue." Maura said rolling her eyes.

Wandering her right hand on Maura's belly Jane was a bit hesitant, she didn't know what to do. Luckily she knew Maura perfectly and knew her body language. Even if she was still nervous Maura was already turned on. Actually sliding her hand between her hand between Maura's hand she could see how turned on she was.

"You're already so wet for me baby..." Jane said tickling Maura's entrance with the tip of her middle finger.

"I am..."

Encouraged by Maura's physical reaction to her touch, Jane gently started to stroke Maura's clit with her middle finger, slowly, very slowly.

Maura, her eyes closed, completely relaxed started to really enjoyed herself. Feeling Jane's fingers on her, stimulating her sensitive spot was almost too much to handle and most of the time she had to fight hard not to explode right away.

Dragging her tongue between Maura's imposant breasts Jane started to make her way towards Maura's folds sliding towards her belly.

Feeling Jane's tongue dangerously approaching her folds Maura instinctively parted her legs welcoming her with great pleasure and expectations.

Smiling internally Jane immediately to stroke Maura's wet clitoris with the tip of her tongue while gently caressing her entrance still with her middle finger.

"Oh God Jane." Maura let out arching her back grabbing the sheets squeezing them tight.

"You taste so good baby." Jane said literally lapping the juice streaming down Maura's folds.

Because Maura was wet, probably weter than she ever saw her. Again encouraged by Maura's body language Jane gently pushed the tip of her middle finger inside Maura.

Looking up Jane could see Maura was still comfortable and continue to thrust her thin finger a bit further. Maura was right, even if she was extremely wet she was indeed tight and the more Jane tried to penetrate her, the more resistance she felt.

"OH, GOD." Maura let out arching her back in pain.

"Okay, sweetie, I'm sorry." Jane mumbled immediately pulling out making her way up.

"No, please don't stop. I burned a bit but I should get used to it."Maura apologized.

"But I wont, I can't see you in pain." Jane said kissing Maura's forehead.

"I'm serious Jane, I want this, just go a bit more slowly, please do this for me." Maura asked looking straight into Jane's big brown eyes guiding her hands towards her folds.

"Okay, but if I feel you're in any kind of pain I'll stop for good this time. I don't need this Maura, I love you and the way we make love is perfectly fine."

"I know. I want this." Maura said insisting.

So that night Jane made love to Maura passionately, the way she always dreamed to. She gently pushed one finger inside Maura's fold and this time felt less resistance, her girlfriend was obviously more relaxed. So she gently started to thrust in and out of her, pulling out slowly and thrusting in deeper each time.

"Oh God Jane..." Maura panted her breathing becoming shorter, her head spining from the lack of oxygen.

Feeling Maura moving her hips in rhythm with her thrusts Jane felt relieved to see she was enjoying herself more so she unexpectedly pushed a second and a third finger inside her without any warning, only listening to her passion.

"OH God..." Maura cried out feeling the pain invading her again.

"Oh God Maura, I'm sorry." Jane apologized pulling out seeing she had been to far.

"No, please continue, it's just discomfort, it's gonna take a little time that's all..." Maura said swallowing hard, swallowing her pride and her pain.

As excited as she was Maura was actually very very tight. One finger was alright, but two and then three was a bit more than she could handle, but she wanted to satisfy Jane. Seeing her thrusting in and out of her moving her hips in rhythm with her hand Maura could see how much pleasure this was giving Jane. She always knew her first time would be painful and knew that if she backed out now Jane wouldn't accept to touch her again for a long time. So Maura let Jane continued making love to her passionately trying to focus on pleasure rather than pain.

Feeling like she got little bit carried away by her excitement Jane felt guilty to have inserted two more fingers like that, hurting her . But she knew Maura didn't want to stop so she continued but more gently this time. She started to go very very slowly pushing in and pulling out very very slowly while still stimulating Maura's clit with her thumb. This time feeling Jane's tenderness Maura started to really feel more pleasure, she started to feel electricity running through en entire body from her head to her feet.

"I'm gonna come Jane, don't move." Maura ordered closing her legs trapping Jane's hand inside of her.

"Come on baby, come for me." Jane said pressing Maura's clit with her thumb.

Kissing her wonderful girlfriend looking down at her Jane, as she felt Maura's inner muscles tightening around her finger could literally feel the life flying off Maura's eyes. Feeling Maura giving herself completely to her Jane felt honored, she knew doing this wasn't easy for Maura, that she was the kind of woman who was raised, never to make a fuss, to always remained in control of her emotions of all times. Looking back Jane remember the first time they tried to make out and the way Maura freaked out after she saw her breasts for the first time. Today she was making love a totally different woman who was comfortable in her own skin and who trusted her to be gentle and to make her happy. The more time passes, the more Maura gave to her , the more in love Jane was and the more compelled to be a better person she felt.

"Oh God Jane..." Maura said rolling her eyes pressing her nails on Jane's back as hard as she could as she felt the most incredible wave of pleasure sur ever flet running through her body...

A few minutes later, out of breath the two women were trying to slowly come back to reality.

"Are you alright?" Jane asked kissing her shoulder her arme wrapped around her.

"Yes, it burns a little but it's okay don't worry, it's gonna take a little time for me to get used to it."

"I"m sorry, I don't know what got into me, I got a little bit carried away and I hurt you." Jane apologized remembering the moment when she felt Maura almost jumping out of her own skin.

"You're italian I can't hold it against you, you continued and you were much more gentle afterwards and I really enjoyed myself, don't worry about it."

"Okay." Jane sighed.

A few minutes later, wrapped around each other Jane and Maura fell asleep naked, feeling they had just took another step in their relationship. Maura was still a bit it pain, actually her clitoris and lower lips were burning a bit, but it was normal, she knew it would take time for her to be able to let Jane penetrate her without feeling any kind of pain or discomfort, lucky for her she had no intention of going anywhere and she trusted her completely.

Actually the more time passes the more Maura felt she was giving to Jane. She felt she gave her love, her body, her soul and was hoping that soon Jane would feel secured enough to reciprocate. Maura knew how much Jane loved her and that she was committed to her but she also knew that Jane was still reluctant to make things official but Maura was determined to show her how much she loved her and how happy she made her hoping that she would feel worthy of being more than just her girlfriend. But right now Maura didn't want to think about the master plan she had in mind to try to push Jane to commit a bit more to her, she was exhausted. She was in this beautiful place with the woman she loved after making love to her and didn't want to think about anything else.

**So guys, what do you think?I feel this is by far the worst x rated chapter I ever written and I'm fishing for compliment... I dont enjoy writing sexual chapters especially when I wrote Maura as a prude. So what did you think?**

**Did I manage to turn you on lol?I thought it would be appropriate for Maura to be in pain and for Jane to get a bit carried away like she did, but in the end they continued and Maura started to relax... I'm afraid what I just wrote wasn't coherent at all..sorry**


	31. Deception

**Hey guys, I noticed your lack of reviews for the past few chapter of my stories(the return and broken as well.)****I do realize and I'm not saying that fishing for compliment but I realize that my writing isn't good as it used to be. Maybe I'm rushing. I think I like to satisfy you but I should take my time. ****I know my ideas are good but the writing isn't as good as it used to be. I need to pay more attention and to be more careful, you guys deserve the best I can do. So from now on I probably won't update every day. I'm gonna take my time. ****I have a lot of drama coming for this story i hope you like it!**

**Chapter 31 : **

**Deception:**

10 Days later after spending most of their vacations in bed experiencing new sensations and letting their imagination go it was time for the happy couple to fly back to Boston. As the two women were reluctantly packing their bags in their bedroom they were both trying to appreciate their last minutes of calm before going back to their busy lives.

Looking around them Jane noticed that every spot in that cabin was now charged with memories. She knew that every time she would think about that bed she would remember Maura giving herself to her, trusting her completely. She knew that every time she would eat maple syrup she would instantly remember spreading it all Maura's breast, wandering her tongue on her skin afterwards. Yes Jane knew that she would always remember this place as the place that allowed them to take the next step in their relationship.

Obviously Jane loved Maura and she didn't care that she was a bit shy sexually and with her body. Actually she was pretty proud of the progress Maura had made since the first time they made love. She remembered that until they moved in their own appartement Maura would only make love in the dark under the covers. Now she was always eager to experience new things, new sensations. Somehow Jane couldn't help but being pride of Maura's progress thinking that it was partially because of her, because of her love, affection and patience. Jane also knew that the fact that Maura felt more in harmony with their sexualities was because they actually moved in together. She knew that committing herself to her helped Maura feeling more confident about their relationship and herself.

"That was some vacation hum?" Jane said snaking her arms around Maura's waist.

"I know right?It was quite educative for me." Maura replied folding Jane's shirts.

"Well you're certainly a very enthusiastic student..."Jane whispered kissing her shoulder, sliding her hand under her top.

"You sound surprised." Maura replied rising her eyebrow.

"Well let just say that you used to be so shy and now it's like you have no boundaries. Not only you're not scared of telling me what you want but you also seem comfortable showing it to me, it's exciting but also a bit unsettling."

"But do you enjoy my new attitude?" Maura replied turning around looking up at Jane looking for approval.

"Of course I do, I'm proud of you. It's very exciting to see you so comfortable with your sexuality and your body and besides it flatters my pride. I like to think that I managed to help you with your shyness and your body image issues."

"You did, you're a good teacher, very patient, selfless. I just wanted to show you how much your helped me. I don't want you to fear that I won't able to satisfy you." Maura said shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh baby, I never felt unsatisfied with you. Being with you has been such a journey, so different from what I experienced before. It's been very fulfilling you taught me a lot as well." Jane replied leaning her forehead against her.

That was one of the things Jane found touching about Maura : she always gave so much but never seemed to be aware of how great she was and how happy she made people around her. Somehow the fact that her parents neglecting her for so long caused her to always feel that need to give to people selflessly because she didn't want to loose them.

"I'm glad to hear that. I think the past 10 days showed us that on top of being compatible on everything else we were also highly compatible sexually. I think we're more able about to consider our future more seriously."

"I always considered our future seriously Maura, you should know that." Jane frowned a bit insulted that she could think she didn't take their relationship seriously.

"I know you do darling but I think it's time for us to consider taking the next step in our relationship."

"That step being?" Jane frowned swallowing hard fearing Maura's answer.

Jane remembered the conversation they had before they left for Montreal. She remembered asking Maura if a ring on her finger would make her happier and being relieved when Maura replied that for now she was happy being her girlfriend. Unfortunately Jane had a feeling that Maura had indeed changed her mind on the matter.

"Mariage Jane, I think it's time for us to discuss getting married."

"Wow, wait a minute, was everything that happened since we moved in together for that purpose?" Jane replied taking a step back feeling like the sky was falling on her head.

"Yes, I mean I know how important sex is for you and I wanted to make sure that you knew I could fulfill all your needs , what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing and I appreciate the effort but my desire to marry you or not doesn't have anything to do with your ability to satisfy me. I wanted to marry you even before we started had sex, when I had no idea if we were compatible in that field."

"So you do want to marry me?"

"Yeah, well not now, I mean we're obviously not ready to take that step, but as I told you and your parents when the time is right I'll marry you." Jane replied taking a step towards her, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

"I don't understand, you're saying that we're not ready but you said we would get married once you made Detective because you wanted to be able to support us financially..."Maura replied pushing Jane away.

"I said that we couldn't get married until I made Detective because yes I do want to be able to take care of you, buy a house and everything but I didn't say we would get married as soon as I make Detective. I'm sorry if you misunterprated what I said."

That was the thing with Maura : she took things literally, a bit too much actually, so Jane had to learn to say things as clearly as possible to avoid any confusion but obviously she wasn't clear enough regarding the mariage situation.

"Oh I see..."

Seeing the disappointment on her girlfriend's face and the sorrow in her voice Jane understood she had just hurt her, again.

"Oh baby don't take this the wrong way, I want to marry you, you know that but we're not ready, I'm not ready."

"Why?We lived together, we share our bed together, we spend our free time together, we met each other's parents. What else do you need?"

"I need to grow up. I know that getting married is a big deal for you, that after that you're going to start talking about having children, buying a house and honestly I don't feel ready for all that. I don't trust myself enough not to screw things up yet."

"I trust you. You're probably the most responsible person I know. You're not a child Jane, you take care of your family, of your partners at work, of me, I think you're mature enough."

"Well I don't and until I feel mature enough I won't ask you to marry me I'm sorry. I want to do things right , when the time is right."

Trying to be diplomatic and honest Jane was actually making things worse, now on top of the disappointment she could see the anger in her girlfriend's eyes and as sweet, even submissive sometimes Maura could be she knew that making her angry was the worse things to do. Even if Maura was a giver she also had high expectations. She didn't do things to have anythings in return but part of her expected people, especially Jane to give her as much as she did. To her it was a matter of respect, as she always said : don't take more than you can give. Having screwed things up once with her, she knew that once Maura was hurt it was extremely hard to win her forgiveness and trust back.

"Oh I see, you're the only one to decide when time is right or when it's appropriate to take that step. I thought being in a relationship meant being a team but I see you already made up your mind on your own."

"Come on Maura, you know how I feel about you." Jane replied moving towards her girlfriend in a desperate attempt to make her see how sorry she was.

"Don't touch me, I should have known you would never change, you're a free bird, I have been naive to think you could ever settle down." Maura chucked throwing Jane a sufficient, even offensive look before leaving the room.

"You're being unfair. I settled down for you Maura, I committed to you more than I ever comited to any one else." Jane replied following her into the living room feeling her pulse rise.

At first Jane's desire was to calm things now, to make amend for her mistake and for disappointed her, but now Maura was being unfair and she wasn't about to let her do that.

"Oh I see, you stopped screwing every lesbian in town and that's what you call committing. I gave my virginity to you Jane, that's true commitment."

"You're being unfair." Jane replied shaking her head feeling the tears rushing to her eyes.

"Am I?I did things, I let you do things to me that I never thought I would be capable of, and all that was for nothing."

"Are you saying that you slept with me to keep me and to convince me to comit to you?"

"Yes, I always knew how important sex was for you and I didn't want to give you any reason to look elswhere to fulfill your needs. And yes since we moved in together I made some efforts thinking it would help you comit to me a bit more, but I was wrong. I realize my mistake now. "

"I can't believe you're saying you're regretting loosing your virginity to me and that you felt compelled to do it to keep me. I hope this is just frustration talking."

"It's not. I never...I always thought I would wait until my wedding night to loose my virginity. I know it's old fashion but that's how I wanted to do things. "

"And you changed your mind because you tought I would leave you or cheat on you?"

"Not only, I was so in love with you and I trusted your commitment to me so I was convinced we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I thought that it wouldn't change anything. I was wrong. I suppose now that you got me to bed you take things for granted."

Standing there listening to Maura Jane was confused, she didn't know if Maura was saying that to hurt her or if she really meant it.

"Okay Maura, just calm down. I do not take you for granted. God I feel I'm always cutting myself in two to make you happy, to keep the flame between us alive. I know you're mad at me, but in a few years, looking back you'll see I was right."

"If you say so, would you please load the car, I don't want to miss our flight." Maura replied throwing her car keys at her.

Hearing those last words Jane knew that Maura meant every word and couldn't believe it. Suddenly the ground above her just split in two directly opening to hell.

"Maura..." Jane panted trying one last time to grab her arms.

"Just don't..." Maura replied walking towards the door.

"I'm sorry..I..." Jane mumbled unable to even think of something appropriate to say.

" So am I." Maura replied slamming the door behind her.

That night after flying back to Boston in silence Maura went to bed without even unpacking her clothes. She went straight to the bathroom, took a bath and climbed into bed positioning herself in fetal position away from Jane. Jane lied there next to her girlfriend on her back looking at the ceiling feeling guilty. She knew Maura wanted to get married but she had no idea how important it was for her and how much impatient she was about it also like if she was scared that she would leave her if they didn't get married soon.

Jane always knew Maura was the marrying type and that giving her virginity to her was the first hint she sent her to tell her she was expecting her to propose . That's why Jane also decided to take her time and not to push her to sleep with her. As much as Maura needed time to trust her and to trust her commitment Jane also needed time to trust herself and her ability to make Maura happy. She knew that if she took Maura's virginity that they was no going back , that it was almost a promise of marriage for Maura.

Lying there Jane was hoping that Maura said those things because she was desapointed and mad had her, not because she meant them. Thinking about it Jane started to replay their story trying to analyze Maura's behavior, trying to find clues indicating that she was indeed sleeping with her to keep her faithful and interested in her. Jane was confused, trying to remember that wonderful evening when they made love for the first time Jane never felt Maura was forcing herself or maybe she was and she refused to see it because after so many months of waiting she didn't want to wait anymore. Yes Jane started to think that her enthusiasm and desire might have blinded her to the point where she didn't see or feel that Maura wasn't ready.

Shocked at the realisation Jane wanted to do one thing : bounce out of bed knee in front of Maura and propose to her, but she couldn't, she wasn't ready and she knew herself enough to know that if they got married before she felt ready they was a high chance she would end screwing things up. Either way Jane felt she was screwing things up with Maura, she loved her and wanted to marry her but wasn't ready. She felt she needed to grow and to become more responsible and that one day looking back Maura would understand and forgive her.

That night Maura stayed as far in their bed as she possibly could avoiding Jane's touch. She cried herself to sleep thinking about all the compromises and all the sacrifices she had made to be with Jane to satisfy her every fantasies and desires, hoping that she would feel fully satisfied and fulfil. She felt betrayed because she had given her virginity to Jane as a gift, as a proof of trust, love and commitment. Back then Jane wasn't feeling worthy of being with her and Maura hoped that trusting her with her body would make Jane understand that she was indeed good enough for her , but maybe she wasn't after all.

**So guys, did you like it?I told you that I had drama coming. I know Maura over reacted but her lack of experience and her social akwardness overcame her intelligence on this one! I really made an effort on this one I hope you appreciate the improvement in the writing!**

**Please tell me what you think!**

**Is Jabe gonna grow up(or grow a pair) or is she gonna let Maura slipped between her fingers?**

**Maura wants and needs to get married but maybe she should understand her point...**

**Time will tell us but next chapter might awake Jane up a bit!**


	32. Self confidence

**Chapter 32:**

**Self confidence:**

The next day Jane woke up early, very early and even if she was exhausted from the flight and the argument she had with Maura the previous night decided to get up and leave their apartment. Jane wasn't a coward, actually she was well known for being very straight forward, but she couldn't face Maura, not now. For the first time since they were dating Jane was actually mad at Maura and she knew it was better for her to take some fresh air to think about it instead of staying taking the risk to say things she wouldn't be able to take back.

As she was trying to get dressed in silence watching Maura sleep Jane couldn't help but thinking that she hadn't done anything wrong. God knew she screwed up in the past but this time she did what was right, she was sure of it. Obviously she wanted to marry Maura but she wasn't ready yet and in her mind waiting was the right thing to do. The only thing Jane couldn't figure out was why Maura made such a big deal out of Jane's decision to wait. She was smart but she didn't seem to understand why Jane had made that decision, all she seemed to see was the fact that Jane didn't want to commit to her.

So that morning Jane took her car and drove her windows wide opened feeling the sun and the wind on her face giving her such a feeling of freedom. Freedom has always been something crucial for Jane, she didn't like the idea of having to make concessions or having to depend on someone for anything, that's why she stayed single for so long, she liked the idea of not having to justify herself to anyone and to do what ever she wanted to do. Until she met Maura she was convinced that she was perfectly happy and that the life style she had chosen was the one she was meant to live. It was only when she met Maura and started to fell in love with her that she understood what being happy and fulfilled trully meant and realized that no matter how many women shared her bed before she used to be so lonely and miserable. Less than a year ago considering seeing a woman a second time after sleeping with her was something that almost disgusted her but now all she could think about at night was coming home to Maura. Jane had met some pretty amazing women trough the years but none of them never managed to make her fall in love with them or even like them. To that day Jane still didn't know what made her fall in love with Maura, what made her so different. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn't easy to seduce and was genuinely interested in her as opposed to the others women who only wanted to sleep with her, or maybe she had just put a spell on her. None of that what matter, all she knew was that she loved her and had no desire of ever sleeping or desiring another woman.

Around 1 pm, starving Jane decided to stop at the dirty rubber to have one of their delicious burger and french fries. Sitting at her favorite booth enjoying her meal watching a replay of an old baseball game Jane started to see things more clearly.

Away from Maura in a quiet and comfortable place she was able to focus and think more thoroughly and quickly came to the conclusion that Maura still didn't trust her. Despite staying completely faithful for the past 8 months including 6 months waiting for her to be ready to make love with her for the time and despite moving in together Maura was still afraid that Jane might cheat.

Obviously Jane loved Maura and was willing to do anything in her power to prove her commitment to her but she was running out of ideas. No matter what she did, no matter how patient she was or the sacrifices she made it never seemed enough, she was still feeling that she wasn't good enough for her. Taking the last bite at her burger Jane started to think that maybe Maura and her weren't meant to be together after all , that being so in love with each other wasn't enough .

As she was about to order another portion of fries Jane suddenly saw a familiar shadow moving towards her: it was Nina, the drunk friend she drove home a few months and who tried to seduce her in her car.

Seeing the attractive blonde walking towards her Jane started to remember the good times they had together back in the day, about all the nights they spent together in gay bars, literally chasing women, sometimes finishing the night together for some unplanned 3 ways with who ever they had picked up. Smiling internally at the thought of her in a three ways Jane couldn't believe that she used to be such a player who had experienced so many different things. Now she was in love with that lovely woman and was perfectly happy to make love to her as opposed to screwing mechanically , because that what all the other women were about : screwing to get rid of the sexual tension. With Maura it was different : every time they made love it was like a celebration of their love. It didn't matter if they did it quickly in the shower before going to work or in their bed surrounded by perfumed candles, every time their bodies came together they were making love and it was the greatest feeling Jane ever experienced in her life and she wouldn't give that away for all the 3 ways or orgies in the worlds.

"Officer Rizzoli, it's been a while…" Nina said sitting in front of her without asking for permission.

"Yes and It's actually Detective, well not yet, but it's gonna be official soon." Jane casually replied taking a sip at her beer.

Sitting there looking at her friend she knew that she would try to seduce her just like the last time she saw her, but she wasn't worried or uncomfortable. Last time they saw each other the atmosphere was rather tough and even if Jane was already madly in love with Maura she was actually tempted to accept her offer. But right now even if Maura and her weren't talking to each other, she felt confident enough not to ask her friend to leave.

"Congratulations Detective I heard about what you did, you totally deserve it."

"I didn't do it to get a promotion, but thank you and thanks for the package you sent me, you're lucky Maura didn't see it."

"Why?I figured that since you were wounded you wouldn't be able to get the physical exercise that we both know you need to function properly, so I thought…."

"That sending me a dildo along with some adult dvds was the right thing to do?" Saying those words Jane remembered receiving the package and finding it quite amusing, unfortunately back than Maura was still a bit shy about their sexuality and she knew that offering her to use dildos wouldn't be appropriate. Thinking about their vacations and the way Maura literally rocked her world for 2 weeks Jane started to regret throwing them in the trash.

"Yes, oh come on that was a funny gift…"

"It was but I'm not sure Maura would have appreciated it, please don't do that again."

"Gee Jane you were so much fun were you were a player…" Nina remembered the first time she met Jane. It was in a gay bar, Jane had bought her a drink and took her home and had given her the best 3 orgasms of her entire life. She remembered leaving the next morning hoping that their path would cross again in the future, and it did, regularly, so often that they somehow became fuck buddies, calling each other when they needed some action but were too tired or feeling to lazy to go out to pick up some girl. For the past 3 years Nina had been in love with Jane, but never told her because she knew her well enough to know she wasn't ready for something more than a casual sexual relationship . Even if it hurt, she continued to be her fuck buddy knowing that even if she was telling her otherwise Jane was a dead romantic and that she was secretly hoping to meet that special woman that would make her quit her life style. For 3 years Nina patiently waited hoping to be that woman, but she waited in vain. Even if it hurt her, she had to admit that Maura was the one for Jane and had to force herself to be happy for her hoping that someday she could find someone as well.

"And also incredibly miserable…"

"Cause you look so happy right now, don't tell me you had a fight with your perfect girlfriend…" Ninna grinned almos hoping that they had broken up.

"I did but it's none of your business…"

"So you don't want my help?"

"What makes you think you can help me?You've never been in a relationship."

"True, but I know women and I know you. Even if you've changed a lot, you're still you, so I think I'm perfectly qualified to helping you, come on tell me."

Thinking about it Jane realized Ninna was right. Even if their relationship had always been purely sexual she knew her well, at least that dark and miserable part of her, the one that Maura was so scared would never disappear.

"Maura wants to get married."

"That's great! The way you talked about her she's the one so what's the problem?"

"I told her I wasn't ready to get married and she went ballistic she said that after everything she did for me she was untitled to some kind of commitment ..."

"Everything she did for you…"

"She was a virgin when we met, we waited 6 months before sleeping together."

Ninna and Jane hadn't spoke since that night she drove her home but she remembered Jane telling her that she was seeing someone and that it was serious. Knowing how much Jane loved sex and needed it she knew that for her to wait 6 months staying faithful that Jane must have been madly in love with Maura.

"Wow, that's some commitment…Not to mention you live with her. From what I can see you're fully committed to her, why is getting married so important?"

"Because she doesn't trust me, she even told me she wanted to save herself for marriage but she slept with anyway me because she was scared that I might cheat on her…"

"That was just the anger talking. A woman who waited that long wouldn't have given it up just to keep you faithful." Feeling the pain and desperation in her friend's voice Ninna understood how serious Jane was about Maura and how hurt she was and reluctantly decided to help her out.

"I hope you're right, and even it hurts you know, I can forgive what she said if she said it because she was frustrated, the problem remains that she doesn't trust me and I doubt she ever will unless we get married."

"Are you sure that's why she wants to get married?"

"Yes, She knows I take marriage very seriously and that if I marry her it means that I put my past and bad habits behind me for good. Unfortunately I just can't marry her to make her trust me, it should be the other way around right?"

"Yes you should get married because you love and trust each other."

"Exactly and as long as I feel that she doesn't trust me I can't marry her. If we get married for the wrong reasons I know it just won't last. "

"Have you told her that or did you just tell her you weren't ready?"

"No I didn't, she didn't let me explain myself."

"Than what are you waiting for?Go home and tell her how you feel and tell her what ever she needs to her to make her truly believe that you don't want any other woman."

"I just feel that it would be useless. I'm out of ideas Nina, I mean I've been with her for 8 months and I never even looked at another woman. If she can't see it now after all we've been through together I doubt she'll ever see it."

"So what?You're gonna quit?Is that It?"

"I don't know, I'm running out of ideas…"

"From where I'm sitting the only thing she needs is you to go down on one knee, so just do it."

"It's not right!I can't propose just to make her trust me!"

"You got to do what you got to do. If you think that trying to reassure her won't work, that's your only option."

"I can't be, I have to talk to her and try one more time to reassure, you're right, I have to fight for her. Thank you, I was a bit lost and you saved me, thank you so much." Jane standing up leaning over to hug her friend

"You're welcome. Now go." Ninna ordered feeling the tears coming to her eyes. She had definitely lost Jane to another woman and did't know if she would ever be able to get over it but as least she helped her and somehow seeing how happy and in love Jane was she started to believe that maybe it wasn't too late for her.

Half an hour later Jane was home impatient to talk to Maura.

As she threw her keys on the coffe table she saw Maura lying on the couch sleeping. Sitting next to her, she took a moment to marvel at her beauty, but quickly noticed the dried tears on her cheek. Thinking she must have spend the entire morning crying Jane started to feel guilty but unfortunately she needed time . She knew that if they had talked this morning before she had the chance to put her thoughts together it would have made things worse for them.

"Jane, you're here!" Maura screamed suddenly waking up feeling Jane's hand on her face.

"I live here remember?" Jane smiled brushing hair away from her eyes.

"I know I just thought…."Maue mumbled straightening up trying to put herself together.

"That I was going to leave you?Well you were wrong, I was at the Dirty Robber having a burger with a friend."

"A friend…"

"Yes Nina remember her?I took her home one night after she called me drunk."

"Yes, I remember her, your fuck buddy…" Maura replied obvious irony in her voice.

"She's just a friend alright?" Seeing Maura's attitude Jane had her fears confirmed : Maura didn't trust her, but unlike this morning she wasn't willing to fight with her, she wanted to try to convince her that she didn't have anything to worry about.

"If you say so…"

Cupping Maura's face trying to remain quiet Jane felt it was the hundredth time she was doing this.

"Look at me Maura. I love you, only you and Ninna used to be my fuck buddy, not we're...actually we're not even friends anymore I just ran into her, I wasn't planning on meeting her, alright?You have to trust me otherwise it won't work and I'm sorry but I can't marry you to prove my loyalty... I just can't you're gonna have to take my word for it."

"Is that why you don't want to marry me?You think I don't trust you?"

"You said it yourself you slept with me because you were scared I might cheat on you…"

"I'm sorry Jane, I'm so so very sorry…I don't know what came through my mind." Finally understanding why Jane didn't feel ready to marry her Maura felt like a complete idiot.

"Nothing apparently expect the desire to hurt me."

For the first time since they were dating Jane was the one who needed reinsurance. Hearing Jane reminding her of the awful things she said the previous day Maura realized how mean and unfair she had been. For the past 8 months Jane had been the most patient, caring and loving girlfriend she could have dreamed about and she had treated her like a sexual predator and had hurt her throwing things she didn't mean at her face.

"No, I'm sorry I was a bit pissed at you. I slept with you because I love you and because I trust you and because I know how committed you are to our relationship. I love you and I'm willing to do a lot to keep you but sleeping with you isn't something I would have done . I waited too long to loose my virginity to give it away like this."

"I know…Gee Maura you can't imagine how much it hurt, I started to replay our relationship in my head and our 6 month anniversary trying to remember if you looked like you were forcing yourself . Can you imagine how it feels to imagine that the woman you love forced herself because she felt it was the only way to keep you?"

"I know, I'm sorry it was a low blow. Just believe what you saw in my eyes that night : I love you and I wanted you to be the first and last woman to make love to me."Looking straight into Jane's eyes holding her hand Maura felt more vulnerable than ever. She had obviously told all that to Jane before but never as a way to apologize or to reassure Jane.

For the first time Jane was the one who needed reassurance and as Maura was trying to give it it to her she realized how vulnerable Jane must have been feeling every time she tried to reassure her and wondered how in hell she was able to handle it for so long.

"I don't know Maura I just feel that no matter what I do it's never gonna be enough, that I'll never be good enough for you."

"Don't say that, you're close to perfection."

"No, I'm not, if I were you would be able to understand why getting married is so important for you..I mean I thought it was because you didn't trust me to stay faithful but you're telling me it's not so I'm running out of ideas…"

"Maybe I'm just scared that you might find someone else better, not that you might cheat but that you might actually fall in love" Finally admitting why she was so eager to get married to herself and to Jane as well Maura suddenly felt much lighter, relieved.

"That's ridiculous…" Jane joked not taking her seriously

"Why?You're very popular with the ladies and you could be with any of them so finding someone better than me wouldn't be hard..."

"It won't happen. Look babe, I have done it already , I have been with dozens of women and I felt the way I feel right now, never. You're the one I can't live without, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one who made me want to settle down and who made me believe that I actually deserved to be with someone as smart, educated, gorgeous as you. You changed my life for the better Maura and I don't want to ever go back to the way things were before we met. For the first time in my life I'm actually starting to like myself , I like the way I am when I'm with you and I don't ever want to go back to be the miserable and lonely woman I was . You're the best thing that ever happened to me, you're perfect and I don't want or need anyone else." Pulling Maura against her placing her girlfriend's hand on her chest Jane wanted her to feel her heart beating showing her sincere she was.

"I love you so much, please forgive me, I don't have your experience and self confidence. But I trust you and I know that you wouldn't say anything you don't mean."

"Good, we're making progress." Jane smiled wipping the tears of her face.

"We are, can we please put this behind us and move forward?I promise I trust your loyalty and your comitment and that I will try to believe in my ability to be good enough for you."

"Alright, maybe I'm a bit responsible, maybe I let my guard down. Ever since we moved in together you seem so confident, especially sexually, so I guess I stopped telling you and making you feel how much I love you. Now that I know that you still need reassurance I'll be more careful alright?"

"Alright." Buried in her girlfriend's arms Maura realized that Jane was right: even if they sorted things out they weren't mature enough to get married.

As hard as it was for Maura to admit it, she now knew that as long as they misunderstood each other like that they couldn't get married. They both needed to work on their communication and also to start trusting themselves. Feeling Jane's breath down her neck Maura felt relieved that she was able to sort things out with Jane and grateful that she forgave her behavior but somehow knew that it would probably be the only and last time Jane would forgive her. She knew that Jane was doubting her ability to make her happy and felt that she wasn't good enough for her and she knew that the more she doubted her the lest confident Jane would feel about herself and that one day she might just give up.

One the other hand Jane was finally relieved that Maura and her got to talk and were able to overcome their issue. Unfortunately like Maura she felt they still weren't ready to get married. She knew that as long as they didn't trust other and as long as they felt the need to be reassured of the other's love and commitment marriage shouldn't be considered. But it was okay they were young and they had the rest of their lives to consider getting married . Yes holding Maura against her Jane realized that being in love was a marathon not a sprint and that it would take them a long time before being ready to get married. Jane knew that both women suffered from the same lack of self confidence but somehow she knew that as long as they talked about it they would be able to overcome anything and was optimistic that in a few months time Maura would become Dr Rizzoli.

**So guys, I didn't want to bring anymore drama...I think Maura realized she was wrong and jan realized that she shouldn't have taken her for granted and paid more attention to her...I hope you're satisfied with that chapter. I paid extra attention to the guys are great and deserve a well written story!**

**I know this chapter was longer than usual but it only takes 30 seconds to leave a quick review an it encourages me!**


	33. Detective Jane Rizzoli

**Chapter 33:**

**Detective Jane Rizzoli : **

A month after having the most important discussion since they started dated Maura and Jane's relationship dramatically improved. Jane now truly believed that Maura trusted her loyalty and commitment completely but that she needed almost daily reassurance of her feeling. What Maura needed was to hear Jane tell her how much she loved her and how beautiful she found her, because she had trouble to understand how Jane could feel that way about her, she had such a low self esteem that she was struggling to believe that Jane could found her so incredible. Most people would take Maura's constant need of reinsurance as a lack of trust but not Jane, she understood that if Maura was confident about a lot of things like her intelligence and her abilities as a Doctor, she had troubles believing and seeing how beautiful, funny and truly amazing she was. So Jane started to be more caring, the way she used to be when they started dating, taking her out on romantic dates, opening doors for her, pulling her chair, all those little things that made Maura fell in love with her.

Also Jane started to hold her at night, cuddling, telling her how gorgeous the way she used to before they started having sex, when cuddling was completely innocent. Actually of the things that kept Maura from sleeping with Jane from so long was the fear that Jane would loose interest in her and interest in courting her. She enjoyed the way Jane treated her, how romantic and carrying she was and was afraid that Jane might start to take her for granted and that she might feel compeled to stop trying to seduce her and somehow she was right. After dating for over 8 months things starting to get a little more routine and the romanticism and spontaneity that made their relationship so exciting almost disappeared, especially since they had moved in together. Obviously Maura was still able to feel how much Jane loved her especially when they made love, but she missed the little attentions and surprises that would take her breath away and that used to make her fell in love with Jane all over again.

Even if both women were smart enough to know that the "Honey moon phase " couldn't last for ever they were still hoping to make it last as long as possible. So to avoid falling into the traditional " old routine" couple's category deeper both Maura and Jane made tremendous efforts to reignite the spontaneity and flame that was so vibrant at the beginning of their relationship.

Lucky for Jane Maura also drew her own conclusions from their conversation and started to open up more easily about her insecurities instead of just burying them and just explode at Jane's face.

After reconsidering their relationship by being completely honest both women realized that they weren't ready to get married, that both of them needed to grow and it didn't seem to bother Maura. The young Doctor finally realized that they needed to grow more as adults and improve their communications skills and also learn how to balance their carers with their relations before taking that big step. Yes both women realized that they needed to go through some crises and overcome them and to learn from them before being ready to face a lifetime together.

Speaking of challenges, today was an important day : after 6 weeks of physical therapy Jane was finally fit for duty and was going back to work as a Detective.

Looking in the mirror that morning, adjusting her brand new badge on her belt Jane couldn't help but feeling so proud of herself. Even if she had only been on the job for 5 years she truly felt that she had worked really hard and deserved her promotion. Her hand of her gun Jane suddenly remembered that the last time she had her gun in her arms 3 officers including herself almost died .

Over the past 6 weeks Maura and Jane barely talked about the shooting, actually they talked about it once when Jane woke up in the hospital and immediately felt compelled to apologize for worrying Maura so much. What Maura didn't know about was the nightmares Jane was having on regular basis. Ever since she got shot she would dream about it , would see herself falling on the floor telling her partner to tell Maura how sorry she was and how much she loved her, scared that she wasn't going to make it. Those nightmares were so real that she could almost feel the blood in her mouth and the only thing that would comfort her was to turn around, wrap herself around Maura and hold her tight. What Jane never told anyone including the shrink the departement made her see was that she was actually scared to hold her gun in her hand again knowing that using it might lead her to get shot again. Yes for the past 6 weeks Jane put on the brave face she was so used to exhibit, she told the shrink what she wanted to hear and didn't even flinched during the shooting test she had to take. All Jane wanted was to go back on the streets and do what she was born to do : catching bad guys hoping that the passion and adrenaline would make the fear disappear.

Standing a few feet behind her girlfriend Maura was also proud of her, knowing how much she had worked and what she had sacrificed to make Detective. Even if she knew that being a Detective would imply working more hours she was confident that they would find a way to make it work. All that mattered for Maura was to see Jane happy and even if she enjoyed having her all for herself seeing her miserable and bored at home was something she never wanted to see again.

"That suit definitely looks good on you Detective." Maura smiled wrapping her arms around her waist resting her head on her shoulder.

"I thought you liked my uniform." Jane replied rising her eyebrows .

"I do, the uniform brings a certain prestige , but a suit looks more professional not to mention very...sexy."Adjusting Jane's white shirt Maura, who had spent an entire day shopping for appropriate suits for her newly promoted girlfriend couldn't help but feeling a certain pride seeing how great she looked in that designer suit.

Obviously Maura loved Jane the way she was and she knew from the start that they were very different and that what separate them the most was Jane resentment for fashion. Maura loved shopping almost more than anything else in this world and was the type of woman who would never go out twice with the same dress and who could spend an hour fixing her hair before going to the store. Jane on the other hand only had two pair of shoes and enjoyed wearing old pairs of jeans and sneakers and could go to the store without having done her hair at all. Even if Maura didn't want Jane to change more than she already had for her she was trying to " educate " her and was desperately trying to make her enjoy " girl" activities, in vain.

"I don't know Maur' , I don't feel to comfortable and God knows I need to be if I want to be able to chase criminals..." Pulling her shirt down in her pants trying moving her shoulders Jane felt almost trapped, she couldn't move properly and was afraid to touch anything scared that she might spoil the expensive suit.

"Are you saying you don't like it and you'd rather wear a pair of jeans with an old t shirt on your first day as a Detective?"A bit offended, feeling that Jane was being so ungrateful Maura took a step back trying to make sense of her girlfriend's behavior.

"I wouldn't mind, this suit is gorgeous but it's not me you know." Turning around looking at Maura Jane could see how hurt she was, knowing how much time and money she had spend on this make over.

"Oh I see well next time I won't spend so much time and money trying to make you look at your best for your first day as a Detective." Grabbing the rest of the suits she had purchased the previous day of their bed Maura was trying her best not to be hurt, knowing that those suits weren't Jane's style that she agreed to wear them to please her.

Looking at Maura, seeing how she was avoiding eye contact Jane knew that one more time, she had hurt her without even realizing it. Jane was willing to do a lot of things for Maura and wasn't able to refuse her anything so when Maura offered to redo her wardrobe she knew she couldn't refuse. She knew that Maura had a true passion for fashion and actually loved her expensive wardrobe, but when it came to her own clothes she always chose confort over sophistication.

"I'm sorry babe, I love it, and you're right, I'm sure I'm gonna make a great impression on my new partner and I'd be more than happy to give you credit ." Trying to make her girlfriend smile Jane moved towards her trying to grab her, in vain.

"What ever, get change if you want..." Maura grinned pushing her away.

"Maura..Please, remember what we said, that we wouldn't turn our backs on each other that we would talk about our frustations."

Clenching her firsts tight trying to hide her feelings Maura didn't want Jane to see how worry she was, because this wasn't about fashion at all. What made Maura act so rude with Jane was her fear of loosing her. Last time Jane went to work she got shot and what Jane didn't know was that just like her she was having nightmares. She would dream about Jane lying in that hospital bed, fighting for her life. Now that Jane was cleared for duty Maura knew that every time her phone would ring her heart would stop beating, that she would have a flashback of that precise moment when her mother barged into her bedroom to tell her that Jane had been shot. Obviously Maura knew exactly what she was getting herself into when she started dated Jane, she knew that one day she might get a phone call telling Jane had been wounded on the job but until it actually happened she thought she would able to handle it. Unfortunately after experiencing that terrible feeling that the love of her life might die Maura knew with certitude that she wouldn't be able to survive another shooting, that her heart wasn't strong enough to handle the worry and the pain.

"It's just...I'm scared Jane. The last time you went to work you ended up being shot." Maura confessed running in Jane's arms crying.

"Oh baby, I know, I'm scared to but I promise I'll be careful. I know how much it hurt when I got shot and I promise I'll never put you through this again." Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's head.

Holding Maura in her arms Jane realized that she was as scared as she was. For the past 6 weeks Maura had been her rock, helping her with her recovery, encouraging her when she felt a little down and not even once she had talked or shown her fear of seing her shot again.

"You can't know that for sure, being sure isn't something you have influence on Jane."

"I know, but I promise I'll be more careful. I love you Maura, I don't want to ever make you cry again."

Holding each other the two women finally let go of all their fears and allowed themselves to cry and to express the pain they had avoided to talk about for the past 6 weeks. Even since Jane got shot bot women tried their best to remain optimistic about Jane's recovery and neither of them were willing to bring up that subject, thinking it would be bad for Jane's recovery. But today for the first time they finally talked about it, and somehow felt relieved and much lighter. Jane knew that no matter what happened she could never make her cry and worry her ever again. Obviously Jane knew how dangerous her job was and that she couldn't avoid danger but she knew that she couldn't afford to be as reckless as she used to be, that now she had someone depending on her, someone who would probably never survive if something happened to her.

Maura also felt relieved, being able to express her fears the had being keeping inside for weeks. Ever since Jane got shot she did her best to stay positive and to encourage Jane to do the same knowing that her recovery would benefit from positive thoughts. Even if she was scared of what might happened Maura truly believed that Jane was going to be more careful , she knew that she wouldn't do anything to worry her like that again. When they met Jane was reckless, only listening to her guts, chasing suspects in the streets without considering the risks. But ever since they started dating Maura knew that Jane started to think about the consequences of her actions, and that she realized that even if taking risks was a mandatory requirement of her job, she had to be more careful.

Holding Maura, feeling her love and encouragement Jane suddenly fell a little less afraid of going back to work. She knew that Maura loved her and supported her in her decision to go back to work and feeling so supported gave her the strength to apprehend this new step in her profesional life.

**So guys, what do you think?I figured it was time for Jane to go back to work and I realized that they never really talked about their fears..Next chapter is gonna be lots of fun...**

**I hope you enjoyed the conversation they had and also that I made oyu laugh a bit picturing Jane trying the new suit Maura bought her!**


	34. Meet Detective Korsak

**Chapter 34 :**

**Meet Detective Korsak :**

After spending about an hour talking with Maura, trying to reassure her Jane finally left to go to her first day of work as a Detective.

As she was driving towards her new precinct Jane couldn't help but thinking about the conversation she just had with Maura. Obviously Jane understood Maura's worries and knew that there was a high chance that she might never feel safe seeing her leaving in the morning and that it was up to her to do everything in her power to try to make her trust her. Ever since she became a police officer Jane had work as hard as she could to earn her colleagues' respect and trust. She never wanted them to try to protect her or to treat her differently because she was a woman. She fought like a tiger to be considered like any man in her unit and to achieve that she did her best to prove them that she was as strong and courageous as any of them leading her to risk her life more often than she should have.

Leaving Maura that morning Jane knew that things had to be different this time, that she couldn't afford to be reckless , that Maura wouldn't forgive her a second time. Being shot and almost dying actually changed Jane's perspective on her job. Obviously she knew that being a police officer came with some risks but she now knew there was a difference between being courageous and having her colleagues' back and being reckless and stupid. Over the years she had seeing many officers getting shot or wounded and she witnessed so many families being destroyed but was never able to relate to that. Obviously Jane loved her family and never wanted to hurt them but it was only when she started dating Maura and woke up in that hospital bed and saw her worried to death that Jane realized that she couldn't be reckless just to prove herself to her male co workers. From the moment she woke up and realized she was still alive Jane realized that now that she was dating Maura and now that they were seriously planning their lives together things needed to change

Standing in the elevator readjusting her badge, Jane could barely believe what she was about to do : she was about to step into Boston's Homicide squad room as a Detective. For the past several years Jane had worked as hard as she could to impress her Lieutenant and to deserve this promotion. She had worked endless hours, volunteering to do the most boring task without ever complaining, not to mention she agreed to work in the Drug Control Unit knowing how dangerous it was. Yes for the past few years Jane did everything she could to prove to her Lieutenant that she was smart, courageous, physically strong and that she had her partners' backs hoping that someday he would recommend her for a Detective position. Today after years of hard work and a bullet through her shoulder Jane was finally about to realize her dream and the most exciting part was that her new partner was a legend. Jane was well aware that Detective Korsak chose her among dozens of other officers that were also being considered to make Detective and couldn't help but feeling a certain pride being the chosen one.

As the door finally opened, rising her head, taking a deep breath Jane walked towards the squad room trying to hide her anxiety. Looking around trying to find someone who could point her to new partner, Jane realized that she was actually she only woman in this precinct and felt even more honored to be here and also more eager to prove herself.

"May I help you?" A strong masculine voice spoke walking towards Jane.

"Yes, I'm looking for Detective Korsak." Saying those words looking at the Detective in front of her Jane realized that she was actually standing in front of her new partner.

"That would be me, you must be Rizzoli." Detective Korsak replied offering his hand for Jane to shake.

"Yes, I'm sorry Sir I saw you in the papers but I didn't recognize you…."Jane mumbled shaking his hand.

"Without my beard?Do you like it?Do I look younger?" Detective Korsak said trying to help Jane to relax a bit seeing the obvious discomfort on her face.

"Yes Sir it certainly does, not that you're old or anything…"Struggling to articulate a proper sentence Jane never felt so stupid in her entire life. She was actually so nervous to make a good first impression that she rehearsed was she was going to say to him while driving to the precinct but every word that came out of her mouth was a complete disaster .

"Well thank you, please have a sit, this will be your desk right next to mine."Inviting the younger Detective to sit at her knew desk Detective Korsak couldn't help but feeing amused and a bit flattered to see that Jane was so nervous to meet her.

Detective Korsak had been without a partner for a few months and when his Lieutenant offered him a new one he immediately started to examine the files of several officers who were being considered for a promotion. Reading Jane's file Korsak was impressed by her arrests record, and also surprised to see that she graduated first in her class and that she was chosen to take part in an investigation with the Drug Control Unit. Amazed by Jane impressive and spotless record , he immediately put the other files aside and decided to ask for her transfert and a few days later Jane's Lieutenant was offering her the promotion.

Sitting at her new desk Jane still couldn't believe that she was going to work with Detective Korsak and knew this was the opportunity of a lifetime that she was going to have the opportunity to work and learn a lot with him. Detective Korsak was a legend in the department : on the job for over 20 years,he had made more arrests and close more high profile cases than any one and managed to always keep himself from getting shot, which after 20 years was almost a miracle.

Thinking about it Jane starting to wonder why he actually chose her over the dozens of competent officers that would have killed to work with him.

"May I ask you something ?" Trying not to appear ungrateful Jane was carefully considering how she was going to pop the question, not willing to make a fool of herself again.

"You're wondering why of all the potential new Detectives I chose to make you my new partner?"

"Yes Sir, not that I'm not grateful because I am and I know that working with you is a terrific opportunity, but I was wondering."

"Well as you know. I needed a new partner and I decided that I wanted a young partner this time, you know someone who could benefit from my experience who would be eager to learn. I read several files that my Lieutenant gave me and of all the potential candidates you seemed to be the more qualified."

"Thank you Sir, being a homicide Detective has always been my dream and I worked very hard to prove myself to my Lieutenant. I'm willing to learn from you and take every advice you can give me." Jane replied emphasizing her desire to learn from him. Even if she was grateful to be here Jane knew that she was somehow starting all over again : no one in this precinct knew her and she would have to prove herself but it didn't scare her, she had work to hard and for too long to let this challenge get in her way.

" Well I'm glad to see you're highly motivated. I know what you did in that warehouse, you took an entire drug gang by yourself and you saved both your partners. "

"Yeah that was pretty reckless." Jane joked trying to minimise her actions. Even if everyone considered her a hero Jane didn't see herself that way, in her mind she only did her job and knew that her partners would have done the same thing .

"Reckless yes but it required some serious courage. What I'm looking for is a partner who I can trust, who has my back and you clearly didn't hesitate to put your life on the line for your partners, you got balls, I appreciate that and I could't care less if you're a woman."

"Thank you Sir, but if you don't mind I'd rather use my head rather than my balls from now on, it almost got me killed."Jane said her hand on her shoulder.

"Does that still hurt?"

"Only when I talk about it, don't worry I went through a complete physical exam and I'm perfectly fit for duty."

"Good, we haven't received any murders today, so it's pretty slow, so I can show you around if you want."

"I would love that thank you."

Following Detective Korsak to the morgue Jane felt relieved confident that her and her new partner would get along well. Actually as she was listening to the other Detective talking about the history of the Boston PD Jane started to think that she might have found something that had been missing in her life : a mentor.

So that morning Detective Korsak showed Jane around from the morgue, to the interrogation room, without forgetting the evidence room and the archives, introducing her to everyone. Walking besides him, observing other Detectives talking to him Jane could notice how well respected Korsak was and couldn't help but dreaming that someday people would respect and appreciate her like that.

Around 1 pm both Detectives were starving and decided to go out for some lunch. As they were about to leave the squad room, Jane suddenly saw the love of her life coming out the elevator. Feeling her heart hammering her chest Jane knew that Maura was probably here to have lunch with her like she used to when they started dating. Obviously Jane didn't have time to come out to Detective Korsak, not that she was ashamed of being gay, because she wasn't. Actually everyone in her old precinct new she was a lesbian and she was lucky enough that she was never harassed or bullied for being gay. Obviously Jane had every intention to tell Korsak about it to avoid uncomfortable situation, like Maura coming to visit or exemple. Unfortunately she didn't expect her to pay her a visit on her first day.

"Maura…What are you doing here?" Jane mumbled feeling her face turning red.

"It's 1pm and I figured you would be too busy to take the time to have lunch so I brought you a little something." Maura proudly explained handing two large bags to her.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do that, really…" Holding the two bags Jane felt her heart melting knowing that Maura had probably spend hours cooking for her.

"Is there enough for two?" Korsak asked from behind Jane.

"Absolutely, you must be Detective Korsak." Maura replied taking a step towards him.

"Yes, I'm Jane new partner and you are…" Korsak replied shaking Maura's hand.

What Jane didn't know was that while considering choosing her as his knew partner Korsak had investigated her and talked to some guys he knew at her old precinct and therefore knew exactly who Maura was .

"I'm Doctor Maura Isles, I'm Jane's other partner…" Looking at Jane's facial expression Maura immediately felt that she had overstepped and that she should have called before coming to visit Jane at her new work place.

"Oh right, I heard that you were playing for the other team, but I didn't you were dating a Doctor…" Realizing the awkwardness of the situation Detective Korsak, once again tried her best to break the ice knowing how uncomfortable Jane must have been feeling.

"Must have slipped my mind." Jane grinned swallowing hard.

"Well actually I just graduated from medical school and I'm starting my residency in two weeks. Actually we might work together some day."

"You want to be a medical examiner?"

"Yes I do, so don't worry about making Jane work late, I perfectly understand the down sides of the job."

"Good, would you like to stay with us for lunch?"

Standing there in the middle of the squad room Jane realized that Korsak didn't seem to have a problem with her being gay which comforted her in her feeling that she had found the perfect mentor.

"No, Maura is busy today right darling?Let me escort you out?" Jane mumbled, thinking that even if Korsak seemed opened minded it was probably more reasonable that he didn't get too comfortable with Maura for now, after all he was his partner not his friend, not yet at least and Jane wanted to keep things strictly professional for now.

"Yes, I have some studying to do, it was a pleasure to meet you." Maura replied trying to hide that she was disappointed.

"Likewise Doc."

As Jane was escorting her towards the elevator Maura started to feel that she shouldn't have came, and that for some silly reason Jane didn't want her to get to know her partner. Even if she was smart enough to understand that this was Jane's first day and that it was understandable that she didn't want them to meet today Maura was still hurt.

"Thank you for lunch, I'm sure it's delicious." Stopping in front of the elevator seeing how disappointed her girlfriend was Jane wrapped her arms around her making it visible to everyone around her that they were together.

"But you don't want me here right?"Looking down, embarrassed Maura was trying her best not to let her emotions get the best of her and was holding the tears running to her eyes.

"No, it's just I'm new here, unlike in my old precinct I don't know anyone, and I want to keep things professional at least until I prove myself. "

"I understand, it just seems like I do everything wrong these days. I tried to dress you accordingly with your new position and you didn't like it, now I visit you and bring you lunch and you're still not satisfied."

"Oh baby, I'm sorry, I love the suits you bought me and I love that even if you're busy studying you took time to bring me lunch."Kissing Maura's forehead Jane realized the jerk she was.

"Then what it is?I know you're out at work and I remember when we first started dating you loved when I surprised you with dinner …"

"I know and I promise once I proved myself here you'll be more than welcome to visit okay?"

"I know…I guess I just missed you, after having you at home most part of the summer it's hard to be away from you."

"It's hard for me too, look it's pretty slow today so if we don't get any murders I should be home early."

"Okay." Maura sighed.

Kissing her girlfriend goodbye Jane once again realized how sensitive Maura was. Maura was probably the smartest person she ever met and was capable of understanding things Jane could barely apprehend but when it came to relationships Maura was a bit unexperienced and was as she called herself " socially awkward" Obviously Jane never meant to hurt her feeling but wasn't used to be in a relationship either and still had to learn to think before talking and to consider how her words or actions could hurt her girlfriend.

Walking back to the squad room as slowly as she possibly could Jane knew that Korsak would tease her just like any other men in her old precinct. Jane was well aware that she was dating out of her league that it was unlikely for a blue collar like her to be dating someone as smart, educated and rich as Maura and learned to accept the jokes her colleagues made about them as long as they were respectful.

"So Jane..."

"I'm sorry about that, ever since the shooting she's been worried about me going back to work. It won't happen again. "

"I understand and I don't mind visitors especially when they bring us food, not to mention she's very charming, you're one lucky woman."

"Yes I am, she's... quite frankly there are no words to describe her, she's exceptional." Talking about Maura Jane suddenly starting to smile uncontrollably thinking that she was in fact the luckiest woman on earth.

"So her last name is Isles as in the most powerful and richest family in Boston?"

"Yep she is, but she's not a snob actually she's th funniest person I know and she never used her parents' money or influence to get anywhere, she worked hard to get her residency."

"I'm glad to hear that, come on let's get to work, I have some paperwork that needs to be done before tonight." Korsak replied seeing how in love Jane was jumping at any opportunity to defend her girlfriend against prejudicial ideas people had against her.

So that afternoon Jane helped her new partner finishing some reports thinking that she was indeed going to feel very comfortable working with him. When she found out she was getting promoted but that she had to leave her precinct Jane was a bit scared to start over. She had spent years building her reputation, making the other guys trust her not to mention she had to fight hard at first to make sure her sexuality wouldn't be a problem and later to make sure people would respect Maura. Fortunately sitting next to Detective Korsak Jane felt relieved that not only he had no problem working with a woman but also that he didn't have a problem with her being gay. For the first time since the shooting Jane wasn't scared anymore, she knew that she had a partner she could trust and as long as she was careful she would be able to come home safe every night. As the day passed faster than expected Jane started to feel that her life was finally going back into place : she had just started a new job and felt comfortable in her new precinct and with her new partner and most importantly Maura and her seemed to have overcome every challenged that had threatened their relationship. Yes for the first time since the shooting Jane felt confident that things were going to be okay and that it was okay for her to appreciate life and to look toward her future knowing that she had everything she ever wanted and that there was no reason for her to lose either her job or Maura.

**So guys what do you think?After so much drama I thought it would be nice to have some fun!I think that it would be Maura's type to just barge in and embarrass Jane like that lol! So Korsak is Jane's new partner...I don't know what comes next ...no really I'm not teasing you...I don't know so feel free to throw some ideas at me!**


	35. Destiny

**Chapter 35:**

**Destiny : **

Later that evening after spending the entire day following Korsak around and learning the ropes of her new job Jane instead of going home decided to invite Maura to pick her up and to join her on the roof.

Around 8 pm her forearms resting on the edge of the building Jane was admiring the lights of city remembering the first time she took Maura on the roof of her old precinct. It was months ago and she still remembered it very clearly : Maura and her were supposed to go on their first official date after already spending a lot of time together at Maura's house. Unfortunately Jane had to stay late and watch hours of surveillance tape in relation with a murder investigation. Closing her eyes feeling the wind on her face Jane remembered how she felt when Maura walked into the squad room with her dinner. She remembered taking Maura on that roof and having dinner with her falling in love with her a little bit more every second. Back then things were easy, they hadn't talked about their future, jealousy or even sex yet but Jane knew right after taking Maura home that she was the one.

Tonight Jane felt the exact same certainty. After 9 months of relationship Maura and her had been through rough things, even dramatic events but they always seemed to overcome every challenges making their relationship stronger. Yes standing on that roof Jane had no doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Maura, for better and for worse until death do them part.

Pushing the door giving her access to the roof Maura immediately saw Jane and couldn't help but noticing how peaceful she looked watching over the city.

"Jane?" Maura asked walking towards Jane.

"Maura, you're here." Turning around seeing the smile on Maura's face, that smile that took her breath away every time.

Inviting Maura to join her at the edge of the building, wrapping her arms around her Jane felt shivers down her spine. Holding Maura in her arms looking down at the beautiful city she had sworn to protect Jane never felt to complete in her entire life. Standing here Jane suddenly felt that every terrible things that happened to her, or to them as a couple were now just bad memories, but memories that should never be forgotten because it lead them right here right now, to that very special moment that Jane knew was going to change their lives for ever.

"Do you remember the first time I took on on a roof like this?"Resting her head on Maura's shoulder smelling her perfume Jane knew that Maura wouldn't have forgotten that evening but wanted to hear her tell it to her, she needed to know how Maura felt that night.

"Of course I remember. Even if we had spend a lot of time together we never had went on a real date Unfortunately you got called on a double homicide and spend the evening watching surveillance tapes looking for a suspect. So I decided to bring you dinner knowing that would probably skip dinner if I didn't. I remember that you took me here telling me that it was your safe place, that you came here when you needed to think."

"Do you remember how you felt?"

"Yes, I felt grateful that you trusted me enough to take me here, to share this place with you. I remember the night was beautiful just like tonight and the stars were shining so much tat we barely needed artificial light. I remember being so nervous that I couldn't stop talking but you never complained. You ate your dinner and listening to me looking at me like if I were the most gorgeous woman on earth. You made me feel beautiful that night and important and when we went into the elevator afterwards, even before you took me to the morgue and we were holding hands, I knew right there that you were the one. " Talking about that first date Maura could recall with precision how she felt because she was still feeling the exact same way.

Even after 9 months of dating she still felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. Jane had this way of looking at her with such love and devotion that would made Maura feel like the most important woman in the world. That's one of the thing Maura loved about Jane, not only she made her feel safe but she truly listened to her and cared about her feelings, she was attentive and patient with her which was more than she could say about her parents or anyone else for that matter. Maura knew that could be herself with Jane, that she didn't need to censor herself or act differently and somehow it made her free to be more herself without feeling ashamed of it or embarrassed like she felt her entire life.

"I felt the same and I still do." Jane replied taking a step back and a deep breath.

"Jane..."Watching her girlfriend going down on one knee taking a small box of her pocket Maura's heart stopped. She couldn't breath or apprehend what was happening.

"Maura, I'm crazy about you. I don't know how I fell in love with you or what you did to seduce me, but all I know is that I was so lost and I found myself when I found you. I don't believe in destiny, I think that we are born with free will and that we make our own choices and build our own paths but I feel that you and me were destined to meet. I remember how my life was before we met, I remember sleeping with all those women and waking up every morning a bit more miserable feeling that I was loosing a little bit of my soul every time I had sex with someone new. I'm not exaggerating when I'm saying that I was literally drowning, drowning in my own crap, in my own inability to trust or to love and I never thought I would ever be able to recover. Fortunately you came along and without judging me you gave me a chance. You taught me to love, to trust and give myself to you without hoping for anything back, you literally brought me back to life Maura. I don't have many certainties but the thing I know for sure is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, taking care of you, showing you every day that I'm worthy of the trust you put in me. " Taking a deep breath, tears running down her cheek Jane opened the little blue box and finally said those words Maura had been dying to hear for months."Doctor Maura Isles, will you do me the extreme honor or becoming my wife?"

Looking down at Jane, seeing the tears streaming down her cheek Maura burst in tears as well. After everything they went through since they started dating Maura finally felt that this was the happy ending they both wanted and deserved.

"Yes Detective Rizzoli I'll marry you." Maura replied kneeling in front of Jane.

Pushing the ring on her finger Jane never felt so proud in her entire life. Being with Maura was probably the hardest thing she ever did in her entire life, trusting her, loving her changing who she was for her but it also felt like the most natural thing she ever did. Obviously Jane had wanted to ask Maura to marry her for a long time but didn't believe they were ready. Up until today she felt that they were both to immature to get married, that they needed to learn to talk to each other, and to trust each other if they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Also after the shooting Jane didn't feel like herself anymore. She felt so diminished having to let Maura dress her and cut her meal, not to mention she had those terrible nightmares and was scared to death to go back to work. Luckily for her Jane had Maura by herse side helping her, supporting her in her recovery and today as she was working her first day as Detective Jane realized that she didn't need to be completely healed to ask Maura to marry her. All she needed was to trust Maura and her ability to help her knowing that no matter how many curves balls destiny would throw at them they would always overcome them because they were a team.

**So guys, I wrote so many proposal chapters that it's getting pretty boring. So I see this story coming to an end. I can see up to 5 chapters before I finish it. I know you guys don't review as much as you used to and that's a pretty good indicator that it's time for me to end this story but giving it the ending it deserves! As always ideas and reviews are more than welcome!**


	36. Meeting the new ME

**So guys, thanks for the reviews, I took the liberty to write this chapter 5 years after the previous one. I wrote several Rizzles wedding already and was scared to be redundant... So I figured jumping time was the best thing to do!**

**Chapter 36 :**

**Meet the new ME :**

5 years have passed since Jane asked Maura to marry her on the roof her precinct.

After being engaged for about 6 months the young couple managed to finally get married despite the lack of time they had at their disposal to organize their wedding.

Maura had started her residency a month after Jane started as a homicide Detective and both women were working endless hours. After struggling for months trying to organize their wedding both women decided to simply fly to Hawaii with their families and friends and get married on the beach, no fuss, with the sunset behind them.

At first Jane was convinced that Maura wanted a fairy tale wedding and had already started to save up to be able to give her the wedding of her dreams. Luckily for her Maura had changed since they started dating and came to realize that the only thing that mattered was that they were going to link their destinies together and that all they needed was their close friends and families.

Yes Maura had changed a lot since she started to date Jane. In order to make things easier for Jane she decided to do her best to adapt to Jane's world, to learn to appreciate the bars Jane enjoyed, to watch baseball games thinking it would be easier than to ask Jane to try to fit into her world. Luckily for Maura the transition from her world to Jane's world went more smoothly than expect and she actually rapidly started to enjoy being a Rizzoli. Even if at first she was a bit reluctant to go to the Dirty Robber to drink beer and eat burgers she slowly started to enjoy herself being among Jane's colleagues. Watching Jane seating among fellow police officers seing how much they respected her Maura couldn't help but being so proud to be Jane's girlfriend and feeling so safe being at her arm. But what Maura enjoyed the most was spending time with Jane's family, especially her mother Angela.

Growing up Maura was never close to her parents and had actually been raised by nannies and sent to boarding school when she was 10. So when she first met Jane's mother who was the typical italian mother : loud, warm, carrying, she was a bit frightened, not knowing if she would ever be able to fit it. Luckily after only a few weeks Maura was completely comfortable being around the Rizzolis and stared to get closer and closer to Angela. As the months and years passed Angela became Maura's confident, she would go to see her when she needed ideas for birthdays gifts or when Jane and her were having marital problems, which didn't happened very often. Actually the main problem Maura and Jane had to face through the years was the lack of time and the fact that their careers literally took over their lives keeping them from being with each other as much as they would have wanted to. Maura and Jane always had a very symbiotic relationship and not being able to see each other sometimes for 72 hours straight was hard but they managed to hang in there knowing that things would be much easier once Maura finished her residency.

Now 5 years after getting Maura had finished her fellowship and had taken a few months off to be able to consider the various job offers she received. Thanks to her hard work during medical school and residency Maura had received several offers to work in different hospital or police stations as an ME and also in several private labs as a forensic pathologist. Unfortunately for all the establishments who were dying to hire her there was only one place Maura wanted to work and only one team she knew would teach her and allow her to grow as an ME.

While Maura was trying to make the right decision for her future Jane was still working a lot but knowing that Maura would be home waiting for her at night the way she used to when they had just started dating somehow motivated her to go home as early as possible. Jane always denied being traditional but she had to admit that she really enjoyed coming home to her beautiful wife cooking dinner for her. Fortunately for Maura Jane understood that she was everything but a housewife and had always encouraged her to work hard in school . Yes for the past 5 years Jane had supported Maura as hard as she could, she had helped her studied, supported her when she doubted herself without ever complaining. Even if Jane was also working hard it was really hard for her to see Maura working so hard and not being able to see her as much as she used to when they started dated. Fortunately Jane knew how hard Maura had worked and wanted nothing more than to help her to realize her dreams, knowing that being appart would only be temporary.

As Maura had finished her fellowship with honors Jane had also started to make her name for herself in the Homicide unit. About 6 months ago, four years and a half after being promoted to Detective Jane had received a new promotion after saving the daughter of a diplomat who had been kidnapped. Right receiving her new promotion and the pay check that came with it the happily married couple decided it was time for them to move out their one bedroom apartment and to buy their own house.

So 5 years after marrying the love of her life Detective Jane Rizzoli found herself at her desk, on a quiet day looking at houses on the internet. Sitting in front of her computer playing with her wedding rings looking at the pictures of the two of them on their wedding day Jane started to think about the past 6 years.

Thinking about it there was no doubt in Jane's mind that Maura had changed her life for the best. 6 years ago when she met her wife Jane was a player, willing to do everything in her power and willing to use any ruse to sleep with as many women as possible. She remembered how she felt waking up next to all those women without even knowing their names most of the times, feeling empty inside. Now she got to wake up every morning with Maura in her arms feeling completely happy and fulfilled. Jane who used to bounce out of bed as quick as possible now would take the time to look at Maura sleep sometimes for an hour before gently waking her up pressing her lips against hers. Obviously even if the past 6 years had been more fulfilling than Jane could at possibly hoped it has also been a challenge because changing wasn't as easy as she had hoped. Even if she knew from the first time they kissed Maura that she was going spend the rest of her life with her Jane had to fight had to fight hard to prove to Maura and also to herself that she could change. It hasn't been easy, especially at first because as much as she wanted to change Jane didn't know how. After living on her own for so long, she didn't know how to be with someone, to open up, to trust and to be completely honest. Luckily for her Maura never gave up on he and even when things were bad and Jane old nature resurfaced she never gave up, she loved her and trusted her with all her heart and all her soul.

As Jane was deep in her thoughts rocking herself in her chair picturing their dream house she suddenly almost jumped off her chair when her Lieutenant arrived in the squad room.

"Well you look awfully quiet today Rizzoli." The older man Joked realizing he almost woke her up.

"Yes Sir, the past week has been pretty quiet because until we get a new ME to replace Cavanaugh we really can't afford to receive a triple homicide." Jane replied trying to stand straight in front of her respected Boss.

For the past 5 years Jane had worked hard to earn the respect of her fellow male officer but also of her Lieutenant. She knew that her Lieutenant from her other precinct had recommended her for the Detective position and she had made it a personal mission not to disappoint him and to prove to her new Boss that he made the right choice. Also for the past 5 years Jane had been partner with the legendary Detective Korsak and had learned a lot. Working with Korsak was probably the biggest opportunity in her career and even if she never enjoyed receiving order Jane respected him deeply and always followed his order without complaining. After 5 years of being together up to 14 hours a day the two Detectives had became close friends and Korsak who never had child actually considered Jane as his daughter. He had witnessed Jane's evolution : he had seen the young, impulsive and reckless Detective turning into a Smart, well respected, resourceful Detective who turned out to be an exceptional leader. Observing Jane growing up as a cop and a woman Korsak started to feel more and more that the city would be safe once he decided to retire.

"Well I might be able to help you with that." A smile on his face the Lieutenant was looking straight into Jane's eyes waiting for her reaction

"You found a new ME?" Korsak innocently asked as if he knew nothing about it.

"Yes I did, ladies and gentleman your new ME." The Lieutenant proudly announced stepping aside revealing the new ME who has been standing behind him the entire time.

"Holly crap." Standing there in the middle of the squad room Jane couldn't believe her eyes and had to pinch herself .

"I believe you all know Doctor Rizzoli-Isles . Don't hesitate ego come see me if you need anything but I'm pretty sure you 're going to feel very comfortable here." The Lieutenant unable to stop smiling seing the reaction on Jane's face.

"Thank you Lieutenant, well you can call me Maura, except for you Detective Rizzoli you know how much it turns me on when you call me Doctor." Maura joked taking a step towards Jane and Korsak who were standing a few feet from her.

"Maura…Gee I'm at work please…"Jane grinned looking around seeing that the entire squad room was looking at them.

"I'm sorry, I suppose it's my place of work now too and I should learn to watch my language." Seeing the expression on her wife's face Maura knew she had made the right decision.

Over the past 6 years the couple had often joke about Maura coming to work at homicide with Jane but what the young Detective didn't know was that it was more than a joke for Maura, it became a dream. So for the next few years Maura had worked really hard and had turned down numerous job offers that were far more lucrative only to have the opportunity to work with her wonderful wife.

"Maura, you finally decided to accept our offer, I'm glad.." Korsak smiled opening her arms to Maura.

"You knew about this?"Jane asked punching Korsak's shoulder .

"Of course he did, I came to see him a few weeks ago when I received the offer to work as your new ME. I wanted his opinion and make sure it wouldn't be a problem for him or for you to work with me."

"Gee Maura it's...unexpected. I always thought you would settle for a position in a fancy private lab or something." Taking a step towards her wife wrapping her arms around her Jane suddenly didn't care if the entire precinct was looking at them.

"Well that was my original plan but after we started dating it became my back up plan which I completely forgot about when you told me that one of your ME was retiring. "

"So you just came to see our Lieutenant to apply?"

"Yes, he was very impressed by my resume and recommandations and didn't seem to be bothered by my lack of experience or the fact that we were married. So he made me an offer about two weeks ago which I accepted this morning."

"It took you two weeks to realize to accept?"

"Yes, I wanted to make sure to consider it carefully. I know how independent you are sometimes and I didn't want you to feel that I was violating your place of work. But after considering it I remembered that we always talked about working with each other..."

"God I love you. "Jane said interumpting Maura as she pressed her lips against hers lifting her feet off the floor.

Standing in the middle of the squad room kissing each other the two women suddenly felt that this moment was the beginning of something great and new : a professional partnership. At first Maura was anxious at the idea of working with Jane knowing how independent she was and not willing to overwhelm her by basically being being her back at work. She knew how important Jane's work was for her and that it was really important for her to feel free to express herself freely. After Jane got shot it took her a while to trust her to be more careful but after 5 years of being a Detective Jane only had mineures injuries and Maura felt she was right to trust and to encourage her. So when she had the opportunity to become the new ME Maura new she had to consider this carefully because she didn't want Jane to believe she didn't trust her or that she wanted to spy on her and take her freedom away from her by being with her at work. Fortunately holding Jane in her arms feeling her joy and excitement Maura knew that she had made the right decision.

Looking back at the past 6 years the two women could barely believe how lucky they had been. Thinking about it they knew that nothing could have predicted that two women who were so different would ever meet, let alone fall in love. But every time they kissed, every time they made love the two women were convinced that even if being together might be the most unpredictable thing in the world it was also the most natural thing they ever did, it couldn't be explained by word, it was just destiny.

**So guys, when I started writing this chapter I thought it would be the last one. I felt that this story had ran its course and that there was nothing more to write about but now that I finished writing it I feel that I might actually continue it for a few chapters...What do you think?Is this a good ending or do you think I still have things to write about? **


	37. Maura's first day at work

**Chapter 37 :**

**Maura's first day at work.**

About a week later Maura finally officially became Boston PD's newest Medical Examiner.

Jane was delighted knowing that she would probably never have spend 3 days straight without seeing her and that even if their jobs were extremely demanding all they would have to do if they wanted to see each other would be to take the elevator. Unfortunately Jane was also a bit nervous because she knew how much Maura admired her and her work as a Detective. Over the past few years Maura had observed Jane working and even helped her several times but she has never been on the fields with her and Jane knew she would have to work hard to live up to the idea Maura had of her.

What Jane didn't know was that Maura was as nervous as her for the same reasons. After working hard for the past 13 years Maura was officially a Medical Examiner and still had to make her name for herself. She knew how much Jane trusted her medical expertise and was hoping she wouldn't disappoint her especially since Jane supported her through her residency and she wanted to prove to her that their efforts and sacrifices weren't in vain.

The only thing the two women knew for sure was that they would make a terrific team because even if they had two different styles they had the same passion for justice and the same sense of duty.

That monday morning while Maura was getting dressed Jane was sitting on their bed looking at her telling herself how she was to be married with her. Even if she didn't knew a lot of Doctors she knew how demanding and selective medical school and residency was extremely proud that Maura managed to graduate at the top of her class.

"Do you like this one?"Readjusting her skirt looking at herself in the mirror Maura was trying to hide how nervous she was. She wanted her first day to be perfect and that included being dressed as professionally as possible.

"Yes Just like I enjoyed the past 4 your tried on, come on Maura, no one care about how you're dressed and beside you're gonna be wearing your scrubs most of the day." Walking towards her wife, snaking her arms around her and despite Maura's best efforts to hide it Jane could see how nervous she was.

She knew that it was Maura's first real position, that she would be in charge of murder cases without any supervision for the first time and that it worried her because lives literally depended on her work .

"Well I won't spend my days down at the morgue I intend to come with you to crime scenes and maybe to interrogate witnesses or suspects or would you like me to stay in the morgue?"

"Of course not sweetie. Some MEs don't go at the crime scenes and just wait for the bodies to arrive at the morgue but I think that's a mistake. Come on Maura everything is going to be just fine, you've worked on murders cases during your residency and you helped me numerous times so just breathe okay, I'll be here if you need me." Kissing her wife's forehead Jane could feel her shaking in her arms.

"I have never worked unsupervised, but you're right I won't be alone you and Detective Korsak will be here to help me. I trust your experience."

"And you graduated top of your class, you're the smartest person I know so we trust your skills alright?"

"Alright." Resting her head on Jane's chest feeling her comforting arms Maura slowly started to relax thinking that Jane was right, she had to trust her skills and her training. She had studied with the best professionals in the country and was perfectly trained to reach people's expectations.

Standing in the middle of their bedroom holding each other Jane and Maura knew that this was the beginning of a new challenge for them. Right after Maura announced she was going the new ME she had an important and serious conversation with Jane to establish some rules. Obviously Jane who usually used her guts and her instincts had some trouble understanding why Maura needed to establish rules. She knew that they would probably disagree from time to time but she was confident that they would be able to talk about it and solve the issue they way they always did.

Unfortunately Maura was the opposite of Jane, rather than doing things using her instincts , she preferred to live and work by a certain code and a number of rules.

At first Maura's need to quantify and qualify and explain and plan everything was a bit challenging for Jane but she quickly learned to live with it and to accept the fact that Maura needed all this to feel more confident. After talking about it carefully both women realized that it was vital for them to separate their professional and personal lives so they wouldn't affect each other . So in order to make their collaboration as smooth possible they needed to live by the following rules:

1)The couple agreed to never bring work or talk about work at home so they could enjoy their free time focusing only on each other.

2)Even if they knew that it would be hard for them to be together without being affectionate both women decided to keep things professional at work and to keep the PDA's to a minimum.

Obviously Jane didn't believe it was possible to follow those two rules and to separate their professional and personal lives . Jane knew that, especially if they disagreed on a case that they wouldn't be able to just go home and forget about it. But the thing that Jane knew would be the harder would be to remain professional at all times. After 5 excruciating years of barely seeing Maura during the week Jane knew she wouldn't be able to resist taking her in her arms or kissing her, but she was determined to do her best to make things as easy as possible for Maura even if it mean following her new rules.

As they were holding each other Jane's phone suddenly rang bringing them back to reality.

"Rizzoli, okay, can you text me the address?Yes she's with me, give us 20 minutes to get there. Thanks." Jane said holding her phone in her left hand, her right arms still around Maura's waist.

"Homicide?"

"Yep, come on let's go."

20 minutes later Maura and Jane arrived on the crime scene which was an alley behind a popular bar. After taking a couple of minutes to breath and refocus her mind Maura finally came out of the car fighting her best not to grab Jane's hand.

"The Rizzolis are finally here, now we can start working." Korsak joked welcoming Maura on her very first crime scene.

Approaching the victim Maura slowly kneeled next to him and started to examine him in silence trying to ignore the noises around her.

The victim was a young african american in his twenties and was lying on his back when he was found and presented no sign of trauma, cuts or gun shots.

"Any idea on the cause of death?" Jane asked standing behind Maura her arms crosse on her chest.

"Really Jane?You really expect me to give you COD after examining him for a couple of minutes?I know I'm good but I'm not that good." Maura joked looking up to Jane.

"How about time of death?"

"Well according to his temperature I can assess that he died between 5 and 7 am this morning." Maura proudly replied pulling out the thermometer from the victim's liver.

"How about that on his shirt is that blood?"

"That reddish brown stain? I don't know I would need to send a sample to the lab to make a correct assessment."

Trying to be patient, knowing how thorough her wife was Jane didn't object and decided to take a deep and long breath knowing that Maura would have the last word anyway.

"Alright Dr Isles let's bring him back to the morgue. Korsak and I will interview the bar owner. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, procedure is very clear and I have to escort the body to the morgue without leaving him him unattended under any circumstances. I will start the autopsy as soon as we arrive." Maura replied taking off her gloves suddenly feeling more confident.

"Alright I will come down to the morgue when I can. " Jane said taking a step towards her to kiss her goodbye before realizing that would be unprofessional.

After questioning the owner of the bar who actually found the victim behind his establishment Jane and Korsak went back to the station and started to look into the victim's life trying to find his parents.

"How about you go down see if Dr Isles has a cause of death yet?I'll notify the parents." Korsak offered sitting at his desk knowing how impatient Jane probably was to see Maura .

"It's only been two hours I bet you 10 bucks she hasn't even undressed him yet."

"Come on Jane, I know she's very thorough but she can't be that cautious right?"

"Yes she can and trust me there is no rushing her or science, so don't even try she will give us answers once she's ready and will never speculate or hypothesize, trust me I've been married to the women for over 5 years . I know what I'm talking about." Standing up looking towards the elevator Jane knew that working with Maura would be a challenge because of her almost pathological need to check, re check and her refusal to ever make hypothesis. Lucky for Jane the one thing she learned over the years was to be patient and understanding with her and to trust her scientific skills.

When Jane arrived at the morgue she found Maura next to the autopsy table looking down at the naked victim .

"I bet Korsak that he wouldn't even be undressed I guess I underestimated you." Jane laughed snaking her arms around her from behind.

"Jesus Jane, you scared me, don't even do that again!"Maura yelled fidgeting as she felt Jane's arms around her feeling her heart almost bursting out of her chest.

"I'm sorry, so has he talked to you yet?" Jane replied pulling her back into her arms.

" I sent his clothes to the lab I was about to open him up and, but I thought we were supposed to keep things professional here." Escaping her wife's embrace Maura was disappointed and mad that it took Jane only two hours to break their rule.

" I'm sorry babe, I just couldn't resist. We spent so many years being appart most of the time that I just wanted to hold you. It won't happen again well except if one day if feel a bit itchy and you need someone to scratch you if you know what I mean..."

"Jane!What kind of woman do you think I am?" Maura yelled rising her voice, scandalized that Jane would even suggest such a thing.

"I'm sorry Maura...I just ..."

"I'm your wife not some hooker you can call and bang whenever it pleases you and here I'm not even your wife I'm your Medical Examiner and you will treat me as such."

"Alright, easy tiger, I'll leave you alone, call us when you have a cause of death." Taking a step back Jane was hurt by Maura's attitude and even if she understood how nervous she was she knew it couldn't excuse her sudden roughness and lack of sense of humor.

Grabbing Jane's arms trying to keep her from leaving Maura started to feel guilty and felt compelled to apologize.

"Jane wait, I'm sorry. I'm just a bit nervous. I'm so grateful that you're trying to help me relax and I love you for it but right now I just need to be by myself for the autopsy. I know that I won't be able to focus if you're standing next to me. Can you please forgive me?"

"I understand, you were right we need to learn to separe our professional and personal lives. We are not the same people at work as we are at home and I guess we can't interact with each other the same way I guess so I'll just have to wait until tonight to hold you in my arms.. I promise I'll give you the space you need to work. "

"Thank you and remember that the good thing about me working is that we get to go home and go to bed together."

"I know..."

That night after a hard day of work Jane and Maura got go home together holding hands. After doing a thorough autopsy and numerous test Maura determined that the victim was birth with congenital heart desease and simply died of a heart attack.

That night Maura and Jane went back home, lite up some candles and took a bath together holding each other without ever talking about this investigation.

Cuddling her wife Jane felt relieved that that the young victim had died of natural causes knowing that starting with an easy investigation probably helped Maura to get more comfortable with her new place of work, colleagues and equipment. Thinking about it Maura and Jane both realized that working together might not be as easy as they initially thought. Both women had two very different ways of leading their investigations and they both knew that just like in their marriage they would have to make compromises and find the best way to work together without letting their differences pull them appart but rather using them to complete each other. Yes both women quickly realized that their new partnership would be exactly like their mariage and would require the same things : respect and trust towards each other's methods , patience, desire to make sacrifices and compromises and somehow seeing how successful their marriage was both women felt confident that their partnership would probably take the same path and that after a period of adaptation they would make a killer team.

**So guys, I just realized that the previous chapter is the most reviewed chapter since I started writing here!Thank you so much for the support. I was in a bit of a writing crisis probably because I started writing this story for this girl and now that it's over for good I couldn't find any inspiration to go on writing but you guys helped me and I feel inspired again!Maybe I still have a few things to write about in this story!**

**As always reviews are appreciated, the more you review the more confident I feel and the better I write!**

**I think it 's perfectly normal for Maura and Jane to argue the first time they worked together even if they had those stupid rules. I think they both need to get used to work with each other and to learn to draw a line between work and home ...what do you think?**


	38. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

5 Years later Maura was still working with Jane and Korsak and even became the new Chief Medical Examiner.

After an adaptation period both women find a way to work with each other without stepping on each other feet, which wasn't easy at first. At first Jane had troubles working at Maura's pace and understanding her obsession to follow protocol and science instead of following her guts . Fortunately for them Jane learned to compromise and learned not to rush her while Maura on the other hand also made tremendous effort to respect Jane's investigation methods that she like to qualify as "unorthodox." After working together for a while both women realized that their differences weren't actually an obstacle to their partnership but a blessing, because they perfectly completed each other. For example when Jane found herself so carried away by a case she could always count on Maura to calm her down and expose the evidences they had in a way that allowed Jane to see them in a new and clearer perpective . Also when Maura found herself in a difficult situation where she was unable to determine cause of death or the murder weapon she could always count on Jane to come down at the morgue, wrap her arms around her and reassure her on her skills. Knowing that Jane trusted her scientific skills certainly helped Maura self confidence and helped her go on when she felt down.

Working together actually brought them closer and help them discover aspects of each other's personalities they didn't suspect. For example Maura always pictured Jane as very truth speaking and loud and she was surprised to see how patient and gentle she could be when she was interrogating a child. On the other hand Jane who always pictured her wife as a shy, quiet woman discovered a strength in her that she never suspected, especially when she had to testify in court, she was never scared to look at the suspect directly in the eyes and give her testimony. Yes after 5 years of working together the two women were still discovering new trades of each other's personalities and after 6 years of being together they were never bored to be with each other and were still suffering as hell when they had to be appart even for a few hours.

That summer Maura and Jane had decided to fly to Hawaii for 2 weeks to celebrate their 10th year wedding anniversary. Sitting on the beach, Jane behind Maura, her arms wrapped around her and her face resting on her shoulders the two women were admiring the wonderful sunset remembering the past ten years.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that if someone had told me 11 years ago that I would be married to someone who would make me so happy , I wouldn't have believed it."Leaning back against her wife, feeling her warm breath on her neck Maura truly had this feeling of accomplishment, feeling that there was there was nothing missing or to improve in their marriage.

"So you don't have any regrets?"

"Actually I do. If we had to do it all over again I would trust you more from the start instead of testing you for months before allowing myself to."

"Well I think you needed to go through that journey before being completely able giving yourself to me and when I think about the person I was when we met I really cant blame you"

"Oh Jane, you know that my reluctance to trust you had nothing to do with the person you were before we started dating but more with my abandonment issues cause my the way my parents raised me or actually didn't raise me."

"I know and I'm happy we took our time to do things the right way and even if it was hard at times it was worth it and I wouldn't do it any other way."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I needed to go through that journey, to grow and learn to trust . I feel so grateful that you supported me like that, God knows I'm not easy sometimes."

"Neither I am. I'm impulsive, most of the time I act before I think. Actually we're really different but I think we love and understand enough to overcome our differences . Actually I think that being different is a blessing, it makes things exciting and challenging. I must say that I love arguing with you especially at work because . You have this way of pushing to think more and out of the box, it's encouraging to be with someone who's not afraid to challenge me. I think you made me a better cop."

"I agree, challenging and pushing each other is exciting it helps up grow and improve our skills in our respectives fields. You opened my mind on so many things and I know that I'm a better ME because of you and also a better person."

"Well as far as I'm concerned you were already perfect when we met."Kissing Maura's shoulders Jane was still amazed that Maura was still not aware of her own greatness.

"I think I'm perfect for you, that's not the same thing..."

"Well as I said before perfection is in the eyes of the one who sees it..."

"Exactly, so you think our life is perfect the way it is, there's nothing you would want?"Saying those words Maura's heart started beating faster. After years of avoiding this particular she finally had the courage to bring up that sensitive subject hoping that Jane would understand and support her decision.

"Like a child for example?"

"Yes like a child. I realize we never really talked about it."

"You're right, well would you like to have a little Rizzoli with me?"

"You're probably going to think that I'm a terrible person but no. I do not feel the desire to procreate, I'm perfectly happy the way things are."Biting her lower lip Maura was secretly hoping that Jane shared her point of view of this matter because as much as she knew that their difference helped them grow as humans beings she was scared that a disagreement on that particular subject would pull them appart

"So I am and you're not a terrible person, actually I feel that if we had a child I would loose a bit , that I would have to share you with him or her and as selfish as it is I'm not willing to do that." Saying those words Jane felt relieved that Maura shared her opinion on that matter. She actually remembered talking about having kids when they started dating and always pictured Maura as a very old fashion kind of woman who would want to raise a family, but it looked like once again Maura had found a way to surprise her.

"I understand and I feel the same way. We've been living in that bubble for 11 years, we're so used to be together, to have this symbiotic relationship that we're not willing to compromise that by having a child."

"Exactly, I mean people always say having a child is the most natural thing in the world but it doesn't mean that you need to have one to be happy, lots of people are perfectly happy without having any."

"Just like a lot of people are very happy to be single. I think society imposes us a certain way of living, you know you go to college, you graduate, you found a good position, you meet someone, get married, buy a house and have children, it's the traditional circle of life."

"Exactly, well you and I are everything but traditional and I think it's up to us to define what hapiness is for us you know..."

"I couldn't agree more, you know I felt guilty for so long not wanting a child because you love children so much..."

"Yes I do but it doesn't mean that I want to have one of my own. Obviously if you had asked me to start a family with you I would have been happy to, but I don't need a child to feel that I have everything I ever wanted in life and as wonderful as having a little Rizzoli would be I don't want to comprise what we have."

"Your mother is going to hate us you know that?"

"She'll get over it, Tommy and Frankie are very popular I'm sure they're going to give her tons of grand children."

"Well being popular runs in the family, when I think about those women who throw themselves at you on regular basis and the one you have been with, I feel ever more lucky to be with you, knowing that you chose me..."For a long time Maura felt threatened by all those women knowing that Jane could be with any of them and feeling that any of them would better looking or more able to satisfy her sexual needs. Fortunately as Maura started to trust Jane she realized that she had no reason to be jealous of Jane's past or popularity and that she should be proud to be the one Jane chose among all those gorgeous women.

"No women on earth can compete with you. You know when we met I thought that I wouldn't be capable of committing myself to you that I had been a player for so long that I wouldn't be capable of being something else. But thanks to the trust and support you gave me I realized that I might have what it take to make you happy and looking back I can proudly say that I haven't desired or even look at another woman in 11 years."

"I know me neither..."For someone like Maura who was so prude and sexually shy knowing that a woman like Jane who had a lot of needs remained faithful for so long was certainly flattering.

Looking back at the past decade the two women realized how much they had grown as women, lovers and also as professional. When they first started dating they had this precise and traditional idea of what their relationship was going to be but growing up together they realized that what they wanted didn't match that idea and started to define their own notion of happiness.

When they first started dating they pictured each other living a big house full of kids, and a couple of dogs and a little white fence, because they were raised to believe that this was the most appropriate way to live, the only way actually. But being together they started to create their own vision of what their lives should be, forgetting the way they were raised and what the society tried to impose as the "Normal" way to live. Yes as untraditional and unsettling as it might seemed Jane and Maura didn't feel the biological need to procreate and raised children. After 11 years of being together they still lived in that impenetrable bubble and neither of them were willing to compromise the symbiotic relationship they had . Thinking about it they knew that most people wouldn't understand and that they would think they were selfish but they didn't care.

Ever since the day they met Jane and Maura had found exactly what they needed in each other, living in complete autarchy and they knew that people never understood the pathological need they had to be together all the time. Actually when Maura announced that she was going to work with Jane their parents tried to convinced them that it wouldn't be good for their relationship. Fortunately they didn't listen to them and were actually proud to show them that working together actually reenforced their bond.

Being in their bubble they never thought their behavior and way of living was strange or abnormal. They actually never questioned it, it was the way they wanted to live their marriage and actually the only way they knew how. After years of trying to be the perfect daughters, Doctor or cop Jane and Maura at the age of 35 finally reached a certain peace of mind. Even if they loved their families deeply they no longer wished to try to satisfy anybody but each other . After spending most of their lives trying to fit in and be a little more normal and conventional Jane and Maura had finally reached a level of maturity that allowed them to be themselves rather then what their parents or society expected them to be and a level of happiness that allowed them to only care about each other's opinion and the good thing was that they actually found each other perfect.

Sitting on that beach Jane and Maura felt destiny had brought them together but that it was their unconditional love and support and constant desire to keep the flame between them alive that was going to keep them together until death did them apart.

**Alright guys I know I said it before but this is it, this is the end! **

**I added Maura's first day of work because I thought it was important to write about it but I'm officially satisfied with this story and it's time to end it . I tried my best but this time I can't find anything else to write about in this particular story...I know I could have brought their ex GF back but it would have been redundant and I didn't want that!**

**I hope you're not disappointed in the ending, but from the start I wanted to make one of them unwilling to have kids…I mean I wrote so many rizzles where they have kids and for once I wanted to do something different. I think that even if having children is very natural some couples don't feel the need to have one. When you think about it Maura and Jane in this story have this very symbiotic relationship and , they're fulfilled and satisfied just being the two of them…**

**As always reviews are welcome thanks for supporting me with this story! Please check my two other stories " the return." and "the end of the world"!**


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